“Don’t eat with your mouthful,” Fern says lifting her wine to her lips.
“You meanspeak?” I say, a smile lifting my cheeks.
“What?” Fern says, her face reddening as she takes another drink.
Harry swallows his food. “If Lilly is my aunty, is Shane my uncle?”
Fern coughs her wine back up, her hand covering her mouth as she splutters.
I shuffle in my seat, not able to look at him, fearing he’ll see how much I wish that statement was true. “He’s my friend, Harry, that’s all.”
Harry stares down at his food, his eyes losing their lustre just like mine, knowing that we’ll only ever be friends.
Shane has the same expression on his face, as if the reality is dampening his mood too.
My hand rests on my thigh under the table and brushes against his, sending a rush of tingles over my flesh.
He moves his fingers ever so slightly, as if caressing my hand. The roughness of his hand against my skin is another reminder of my shadow.
Gently, I scrape my nails against the back of his hand, hoping to get a reaction from him.
He shifts in the seat next to me, his jaw tightening as he presses his lips into a thin line. If I’m completely wrong about Shane and my shadow being the same person, I’m certain that Shane has feelings for me as well. I’ve felt it in my bones for a while now.
Fern wipes her mouth and composes herself after practically choking on her wine. A deafening silence fills the room. If Fern accepted us as a couple, this is how it would be between the four of us. Awkward family dinners. And this is only the tip of the iceberg. We haven’t even thrown my brother into the mix.
Guilt works its way up my throat and I swallow it down with another bite of pizza. I often think Mum’s better off with dementia. If she knew the state of our family and how we’re all broken, she’d probably have another stroke.
“Mum, can I watch the rest of my movie?”
Fern nods, topping up her wine, the bottle almost empty.
Harry takes another slice of pizza from the box and runs into the living room, leaving the three of us in this electrically charged atmosphere that’s zapping all my energy.
I clear my throat. “So, what happened with Dr Fletcher?”
Shane swallows his mouthful of food. “I don’t think he’ll be bothering you at work again.”
“It wasn’t him that broke into my home.” I turn sideways to face Shane. “Wait.” I turn to Fern. “Wasn’t he here with you that night?”
She gulps down her wine. “He left around midnight. What time was your break in?”
“About eleven.” I look into Shane’s eyes, his hand running down his face with a groan. “I’ve spent every waking hour tracking the wrong fucking creep.” Defeat deepens the weary lines on his brow.
“It wasn’t all for nothing.” Fern clatters her wineglass against the table with a shaky hand. “At least I know he wasn’t interested in me before I made a complete fool of myself.” Her voice shakes as she stands and turns away from Shane, making herself busy as she clears the empty food boxes away.
I wish she would just catch a break. Why can’t she just find a decent man? Anyone but her ex.
Shane stands to help clear the rest of the rubbish from the table. I lift the empty wine bottle and turn around, my elbow accidentally knocking Shane on his side. He hisses through his teeth, his hand holding his abdomen.
Fern spins around. “What’s wrong with you?”
Shane gulps, gazing into my eyes. “I tackled someone to the ground at work. Hurt my side, that’s all.”
“Let me take a look.” I reach for his shirt, but he steps away.
“No. It’s fine.” He scratches the back of his neck with his other hand. “I gotta go.” He points to the living room. “Am I all right to say goodbye to the kid?”
Fern nods as she continues to make herself busy, moving my phone to wipe down the already clean worktop.
