She nods in agreement. “My brother isn’t sick, but I don’t know where the knife’s been, so you should go to the hospital and get some anti virals just in case.”
I stand with a groan, holding my side, the pain making me nauseous as the pain of a hot poker tears through my stomach. Holding Lilly’s hand, I pull her to her feet. “Close your eyes.”
She does as I ask, her palms rest on my chest.
Before I go and lick my wounds, I lift my sweat coated mask to my nose and wipe the moisture there before pressing my lips to hers. Not knowing when I’ll see her again, I need something to sustain me for the foreseeable future. I’m unsure how long it will take to get tested and get a clean bill of health. I don’t trust Ash or any of his buddies. But I made Lilly a promise not to hurt him. I can’t go back on my word.
She slips her tongue into my mouth and clings to the fabric of my top. Everything melts away, her lips like butter, her tongue gently licking against mine, and I’m drowning in this woman. All pain forgotten, I bask in her warmth, her touch soothing as I lose all sense of reality.
She deepens the kiss, and I’m a slave to her whimpers. She’s my kryptonite. My weakness. The one person I would die for. And right now, I’m dying of a broken heart, knowing this is all we’ll ever have. Stolen moments behind a mask.
28
LILLY
Itrudge to the next bed, doing the rounds on the ward. “Morning, Mrs Riley. How are you today?”
“I’m feeling much better, dear, but you don’t sound your usual self. What’s the matter?”
Handing her a cup of tea, I give her a weak smile. “Fine, just tired, that’s all.” I can’t tell Mrs Riley about all my problems. I’m in love with a man I’ll never be able to have.
She brings the tea to her lips with a slight shake of her frail hand. “Is it a man keeping you awake at night?”
A laugh bursts from my lips. “If only.” Though she’s right. It is a man keeping me up at night, just not in the way I’d like. I haven’t slept all week since Ash slashed Shane with a knife. The last thing I want to do is expose him as Shane, even though I’m almost certain they are the same man. If neither of us acknowledge it, then we can carry on enjoying each other.
Enjoying isn’t the right word. I need him like I need water to hydrate, oxygen to breathe, and food to sustain me. He’s the fuel for my soul.
I tuck Mrs Riley’s blanket in and leave her to sip her drink, moving on to the next bed. He hasn’t been on the live all week,nor has he messaged me, despite me texting him. I saw Kane at the bar, and he said Shane’s been busy with work, so at least I know he’s still alive.
But it’s not just a man that’s been keeping me awake at night. Or my brother, or my studies. There’s something else nagging at the back of my mind. Something I keep putting aside, hoping it’s just late because of all the stress recently, but my periods are never late.
Slumping to the nurses’ station with tired feet, Dr Fletcher comes up behind me. My body bristles.
He places his hand on my shoulder. “You all right Lilly? You seem tense.”
I shrug him from me. “Fine.” It’s him that makes me tense. Every time he’s near me, I get the ick. And now is no different as nausea turns my stomach. Rushing from the desk, I cover my mouth as I dart to the bathroom. With deep breaths, I get myself under control, patting away beads of moisture on my top lip with a paper towel.
A girl I barely recognise stares back at me through the mirror above the sink. She’s tired, with dark circles under her eyes that no amount of concealer will cover.
I exhale, rolling my neck and rubbing the tension there. I need to sort my life out. Things were much simpler before my shadow came on the scene. My hand smoothes over my tunic and rests against my stomach. The nausea subsides, replaced by fluttering at thoughts of carrying his child.
Shaking my head, I realise that’s impossible. He said he’s had a vasectomy. I make a mental note to pick up a vasectomy leaflet on my way home tonight in case there’s a slight chance that maybe this feeling I have niggling in the back of my head is real.
If I’m right, I need to get him to stop hiding his true identity from me. A baby will change everything, and I want a relationship with him, whether he’s Shane or someone else. Ipromised myself I wouldn’t be that girl to settle for anything less than what I deserve.
A knock on the door makes me jump.
“Lil. You okay in there?” Hazel says.
My shoulders relax at her voice. “Just washing my hands.”
“There’s a delivery for you.”
Unlocking the door, I’m met with a luxurious bouquet of deep red lilies wrapped in a black satin bow. My mouth parts as I take the flowers from Hazel with two hands.
“Someone has an admirer,” Hazel says, grinning from ear to ear. “Is it the mystery man?” She follows me into the staff room as I set them on the table and pull out the card.
Flutters intensify in my stomach as I read his inscription.
