“Need a place to crash tonight.” He pulls his hood down. The light from my hall shining on his face highlights a black eye.
“Oh, my goodness. What happened?” I reach up to move his face to the side to get a better look at the bruising.
“Had an argument with Levi.” He stubs the roll-up out on my brick wall before tossing it on my drive.
“That’s not an ashtray. You can pick that up and put it in a bin.” I wave my hand to the litter and to my green wheelie bin next to the house. “I have Harry in the spare room tonight. You can’t just show up here.”
He collects his trash and flicks it in the bin. “Fern’s Harry?”
“Yeah.” I wrap my cardigan around me, keeping out the cool breeze.
He drops his head, kicking my doorstep with his worn trainers. I’m not even sure if Harry remembers him. Fern washed her hands of Ash years ago when he stole from her to feed his crack addiction. “Can I meet him?”
“Are you clean?” My heart sinks to my stomach. I can’t turn my brother away. I’m not like Fern. I know she did it to shield Harry from his lifestyle, but I can’t just send him away to sleep on the streets, especially when I feel responsible for his situation.
Ash holds his hands up in surrender. “I’m clean. That was just a cigarette, and I’m not an addict anymore. I promise.” His words slur a little, but that’s from years of abuse. To anyone else, he sounds drunk, but I choose to believe he’s telling the truth when I see the desperation etched on his face.
I stand aside, let him in, and whisper. “As far as Harry’s concerned, you’re a friend. If Fern finds out you’ve been here, she’ll kill me.”
He nods and smiles, opening a wound on his bust lip.
“For goodness’ sake, let me clean you up.” I show him into the kitchen and sit him at the table.
Harry stands in the doorway staring at Ash.
“Hey, little man.”
He steps closer. “What happened to you?”
“Harry, this is my friend. He’s been in an accident, so I’m just going to clean him up. Why don’t you get ready for bed?”
“Then can we finish the game?”
“Sure. Your pyjamas are on your bed and make sure you clean your teeth.”
Once Harry’s upstairs, Ash says, “He got so big.”
“Well, that’s what happens. Kids grow.”
“The last time I saw him was before I got sent down again.” He flinches as I wipe a wet kitchen towel across his cheek.
“Have you seen Mum since you were released?” I wipe the dried blood from around his lip.
“I went to the care home like you said. She didn’t recognise me. I think I scared her. She seemed really uncomfortable, so I left.” He sniffs the air and wipes his nose on his sleeve. His eyes glaze over. I know that feeling all too well.
“She doesn’t recognise me either.” I wipe the other side of his face.
“It’s not her. I don’t know where our mum is, but that wasn’t her.”
“Shane said she’s living in the past like she remembers me age twelve, so she remembers you as a fourteen-year-old with long hair. Not this buzz cut you have now and all these tattoos.”
“I thought Shane and Fern split years ago?”
“They did.” I turn around and fill the kettle.
“So why does the fucking cop have an opinion on our mother?” His jaw tenses. He’s never forgiven Shane for arresting him.
“He went to see her the other day. She’s always going on about how proud she is of her son-in-law.” My throat tightens with emotions. An ache in my chest squeezes my lungs, still upset that Mum recognises Shane and not me. But if he can bring her some joy, then I’m glad there are still a few people she recognises, even if one of them isn’t me.
