“Everything’s fine.” I clear my throat. “Everyone’s fine, but…” I lean back against her worktop and grip the edge with both palms. “Ash was shot last night.”
Her hands fly to her mouth. “Oh my gosh.”
“He’s fine. I spoke to the hospital this morning. It’s a shoulder wound.” I swallow, knowing I should tell her about Lilly and me, but she should know what’s happening with Ash, too. “Lilly tried to call you this morning.”
“I had my phone on silent as I had a lie-in. She texted me and said she would call later.”
“She’s at the hospital with him now.”
“How did this happen?” She sags against the sink, rinsing a glass and filling it with water.
“He called Lil last night, needing help with Jodie, but she went into cardiac arrest. Levi was there with a gun. He and Ash fought. The gun went off.”
She grips the glass of water in her hand; her knuckles turning white. “I hate that man. I hope he rots in prison.”
“With any luck, he’ll be rotting in hell. I put a bullet in his head.” Shame creeps into my lungs, but I’m not sorry for killing him. It’s the shame that I have no remorse. I killed him in cold blood, and I’m not even sorry. I should feel something, but all I feel is relief.
She takes a long drink of her water as she stares out of the kitchen window at her overgrown garden. “I can’t say I’m sorry.”
“Me neither.” I straighten my spine, summoning the strength to tell Fern why I really came here. “Fern. I need to talk to you about why I’m really here.”
She spins around, facing me. “Shane.” She gives me a sorry expression, as if taking pity on me. “I thought we went over this. I just don’t feel the same w?—”
“That’s not what I want to talk to you about.”
Her cheeks flush crimson. “Oh.”
“It’s Lillian.” I pause for a moment, watching Fern chew on the inside of her mouth as if in deep thought. “She’s pregnant.”
She lets out a sigh, as if relieved. “Yes, I know. She told me. Some guy in a mask knocked her up…”
“You can’t blame her for what I’m about to tell you. I don’t want her stressed or upset, especially while she’s pregnant.”
“Why would I blame you?” She glares at me as if trying to piece it all together.
I swallow, unable to say everything I need to, but my eyes must convey my truth.
Her head shakes. “No, Shane. Please, no.” She clutches her stomach and leans over the sink as if she’s about to throw up. “Please tell me it’s not you.”
“I’m sorry. This is all on me. Lilly didn’t know.”
She spins around with a scowl etched on her face. “My sister, Shane.” Her fingers curl into a fist, and she punches me in the chest. “My sister?” Her other fist clenches and swings at me.
I stand tall, my muscles tense, and let her get all her anger out. She can use me as a punching bag if it makes her feel better. I’d sooner her get all her anger out on me than Lilly.
“How could you, Shane?” She leans over the sink again, taking deep breaths.
“I didn’t do this to hurt you, Fern.”
“What about Lilly?” She looks back at me with tears swelling in her eyes. “I thought you were friends. I thought you cared for her like a brother.”
My throat closes up. “I do?—”
“You deceived her, played games with her, and got her pregnant,” she spits the words out with venom in her tone and disappointment in her eyes. “I thought you were better than that.”
When she says it out loud like that, I know what I did was despicable to most women. But Lilly isn’t most woman, and she had a kinky side that I was more than happy to fulfil.
Fern rubs at her forehead, checks her surroundings and whispers, “I love my son more than anything, but I wouldn’t wish being a single parent on anybody. I’ll never forgive you for doing this to her.”
