“Violets can thrive in the shade, too. They don’t just need sun, they need water. You’re the water I need, Kane. The earth to keep me grounded. Don’t push me away.”
“I’m not pushing you away. I’m setting you free.” He holds me tight. “Don’t make this any harder than it is already. What we did last night. What we’ve done is all on me. I let myself indulge in you and it was so wrong, because I can’t keep you. But I’ll always be here for you. You have the potential to do so much more and be whoever you want to be, and I won’t hold you back.”
I finally understand what he’s saying. He’s parenting again, but an old phrase comes to mind. I can’t recall where I’ve read or heard it.
When you love someone, set them free.
He does love me. I feel it with every touch, every penetrating gaze, every rugged breath. There’s no doubt he loves me, but I can’t tell if it’s the love you have for a family member or the love you have for a lover. I’ve never had either to compare. Even with my past conquests, none truly loved me and nor I them. It was just taking care of business, a bit of fun. But with Kane, it’s more than that. Maybe it was lust at first, but last night was more. Staring into his eyes as I rubbed myself against him was like making love. Probably the closest I’ve ever felt to another soul.
I lift from his lap with a heavy heart, but I respect him and I won’t push or tempt him anymore. He has enough demons that he fights daily, and I don’t want to add more salt to a wound that never healed. The truth is, I love him and I make a conscious decision now to set him free.
“I won’t kiss you again until you’re ready to embrace the possibility of us.” My fingers graze his shoulder as I leave the table and head to my room.
23
KANE
“Did you make this?” Vi holds up a Christmas ornament from a box of decorations she found in her room.
“Probably. Mum enjoyed making stuff out of clay. She was crafty like that.”
“We should get a tree, hang these decorations up. Do you have an artificial one?” Her hazel eyes peer up at me from the floor of her room as I fix her desk that I’ve restored.
“We haven’t had a tree up in this house since Mum was alive.” I slide a drawer onto the runners. Her eyes dull. She packs the ornament away and folds up the box. “Christmas is overrated anyway, don’t you think? Just another way for the big corps to cash in and line their pockets.”
She sighs. “You’re right. Just a bunch of people buying crappy gifts out of obligation.”
Judging by her face and tone, that’s the sort of gifts she received. “You had nice stuff as a kid, though?” I hold my breath, hoping her foster family spoiled her at least. I figured she was well taken care of. Thought she would have been adopted.
Her shoulder lifts into a shrug. “They bought me gifts, yes, but there was never much thought behind it. If Maddie wanted an iPad, she got an Apple iPad, and I got a cheaper option, always saying Maddie had earned it and I hadn’t because all I did was get myself in trouble.”
More of the casing around my heart crumbles. No wonder she was always acting up. “I’ll buy you an apple iPad if that’s what you want.”
“That’s very generous, but I’m not that fussed now.” Violet slides the box of decorations under the bed. “I’ll have a PlayStation, though.” Her cheeky smile shows her dimples. I’m not loaded, but I’d buy her anything she wants just to see her smile.
Her bright smile fades along with her dimples. “It’s like Maddie was put on this earth just to make me look bad. She’s the perfect daughter in every way. My foster parents used to say,why can’t you be more like Maddie?I can’t even hate her because she was the only one in that house who was actually kind to me, but the moment she slammed a door and mouthed back to her parents, I got the blame. My behaviour was a bad influence on her, apparently.” A smile quirks her lips as she stands and stares at the desk.
I slide in another drawer, place the screwdriver on the windowsill, and shove the screws in my pocket. My fingers curl under her chin, lifting to meet my gaze. “If they couldn’t handle you, that’s on them, not you.”
“I was wild.” She giggles to herself.
“Was?” I quirk a brow. “You still are.”
“You seem to handle me quite well, though.” She bites her lip, taunting me with her fingernails dragging along my tensed upper arm.
“Careful, Vi. Or you’ll see just how well I can handle you. I know what you’re doing.” I stare into her eyes with a clenched jaw, every muscle in my body desperate to give in. My lips want to crush hers, but I keep them closed. My hands want to squeeze her ass, but I fist them into balls. The only muscle that isn’t listening to my demands is my cock, that grows thicker by the second. Every moment I’m standing in her presence, the pull is stronger, my dick harder and my will weaker.
She waves a hand in the air. “Oh, chillax. I’m just playing. It’s fun to get you going.”
Fun? My dick’s chafing against the denim and she thinks this is fun. All the things I’d love to do to her. She wouldn’t be tormenting me once I had my way. She’d be begging me to stop from the amount of orgasms I’d wring out of her. I bet she’s never been with a real man. A man that knows every secret of a woman’s body.
“Do you want a drink?” She wanders out the door.
“Coffee, black—”
“I know, plain no sugar. I’ve lived here long enough to know how you take your coffee.” She disappears down the hall.
My chest aches for her. I wasn’t bothered about Christmas. The festive season lost its sparkle a long time ago for me, but listening to her talk about it in the same way hit differently. When I was eighteen, I still enjoyed coming home on leave, spending time with Mum and Dad, and seeing Ali. It was a special time. She shouldn’t be so cynical about it. Not at her age.
