My shoulder shrugs. “I don’t know. Oil?”
“You’re saying I should cherish my car more than my family?” She puffs out a laugh. “At this point, that’s not hard. Trust me.”
“Syrup?” I smile along with her, still tasting the pancakes on my tongue.
“Yeah, I’ll take pancakes and cars over my foster family any day of the week.”
She’s laughing, but I can see the sadness in her eyes. I want to be a family for Vi. I want to show her how a parent should behave with unconditional love and security. I may not be able to give her the name of her biological father, but I can be the person she needs.
15
VIOLET
“Do you have any laundry?” I ask Kane, carrying the laundry basket into the kitchen.
He gives Belle fresh water. “I put some washing in last night. I’ll take it out and you can put a load in.”
“It’s all right, I can do that.” I rest the laundry basket on the table and open the door to the washing machine.
He scratches the back of his neck. “Thanks, Vi. You can chuck all my stuff in the dryer.”
“I’ll sort it, don’t worry.” I tap my earpods to resume my music, pull out all the wet clothes and spread them on the oak table to sort through. Kane heads back to the garage to work on the Fiesta. I hang the jeans on the airer to dry, a pair of mine and his, along with a mixture of our t-shirts. My chest tightens when red lace knickers fall from a crumpled t-shirt as I give it a shake.
The same red lace knickers I left in Jesse’s car.
I stare at them, wet against the orange floor tiles, my heart pounding in my throat as if staring at a ghost. He broke their car window. For me. With trembling hands, I bend to examine them more closely, and check I’m not mistaken. Running the fabric through my fingers, they’re the same ones as they match my red plunge bra that I wore that night. The same bra I’m about to put in the washer.
“Everything all right?” Kane’s voice shouts, startling me. I tap my earpods to stop the music. Kane’s back in the kitchen getting a drink from the fridge, a line of concern etched on his brow. “Vi, you’re white as a sheet.”
I gather more clothes from the table to hide the knickers in my hand and bundle it in the dryer. “I’m good. Thought I saw a spider in the washing, but it was a piece of fluff.”
Kane chuckles. “You’re afraid of spiders?”
“Yeah, anything that creeps and crawls basically.” I turn the dryer on and gather the darks from the basket to go in the washing machine. Kane and I have been getting along and I don’t want to have the conversation about finding my knickers. For one, it’s embarrassing that he went and smashed a window to get them and two, I don’t want anything to remind him of that night and bring back all that anger and guilt, not to mention sexual tension.
“You best get used to them. This old house is full of spiders, but you don’t need to be afraid. I’ll protect you.” He guzzles a fizzy can down, then tosses it in the bin.
I tap my music again and try to forget about my knickers, though still stunned that he went to such lengths to retrieve them. Since that night, I’ve been worried about someone finding them and the guys having a laugh at my expense. Anyone would know they were mine, being too big to be Lucy’s or Marie’s.
* * *
After cleaning the bathroom,I take the clothes from the dryer and fold them into piles on the large oak table before taking them upstairs. I drop the laundry basket on my bed, then take Kane’s clothes out and make my way down the landing to his room.
His bed is always made with military precision, and there’s not a thing out of place. I pop the pile of clothes on his crisp white sheets, then Belle bounds in behind me.
“Hey girl, you know you’re not allowed in here.” I ruffle her black and white coat, which just makes her more excited. She jumps up onto the bed, kicking the pile of laundry all over the floor.
“Belle. Down.” I click my fingers as I’ve seen Kane do with her many times, but she just barks, running rings round me. “Bad girl.” I stand in the doorway, ushering her out of the bedroom. “Down.”
She trots down the landing with her tongue out, panting as she goes, and I slip back inside Kane’s room and shut the door. With my hands on my hips, I exhale a long breath, scanning the toppled clothes on the floor. Luckily, there are no paw prints on his sheets saving me from another load of washing.
Dropping to my knees, I pick up the scattered clothes, reaching under the bed for a loose sock straggled next to an old tatty cardboard box. Overcome with curiosity, I slide the box out with a smile, wondering if it’s a kinky toy stash.
What I find is a box full of old letters. My heart rate speeds up, knowing I can’t look through his private things, but curiosity gets the better of me.
Crossing my legs, I make myself comfortable and pick an envelope from the top. The letter addressed to the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers Regiment, Chippenham. The address is written in the same scrawl as the notes in Jane Eyre. My mother’s handwriting. A flutter in my belly makes my fingers tremble. I shouldn’t be going through his personal stuff, but I want to know more about him and I’ve a feeling this letter may be from Mum.
Kane,
