“Well, it’s not Christmas Day yet. There’s still time for you to get that Lego set you wanted.” I pour my coffee now the kettle’s boiled, still contemplating the whiskey.
“I didn’t ask Santa for a Lego set.” Teddy rummages through the Christmas Eve box for the big bar of chocolate at the bottom. “Can I?” He holds it up with sad eyes.
“Sure. Let’s have some.” Lord knows I need something.
He tears into it like Charlie opening a Wonka Bar. “I wrote Santa a letter with my Christmas wish.”
I gulp down the black coffee. “Oh?” Fuck, this kid always does this to me last minute. He talks about a railway Lego set for months, then changes his mind last minute. Last year it was a Hot Wheels garage. Then he told Santa a week before Christmas that he wanted a Nintendo Switch. I’m sure it’s his sneaky plan to get both.
“Can I see it? You best give it to me so I can make sure Santa gets it in time.”
He bites into the enormous bar of chocolate. “Joy posted it for me.”
Fuck. I really am screwed. “What did it say?”
He shrugs his shoulder and sighs with chocolate all around his mouth. “Doesn’t matter now. It’s lame. Santa’s for losers.” His bottom lip twitches like it always does when he’s about to burst into tears. He drops the chocolate.
I corner the breakfast bar and scoop him into my arms. His legs dangle at my hip. “Teddy. It’s okay.” I gently bounce him in my arms like I would when he was a baby, to soothe him. It’s been just the two of us all this time. His mum never made it to his first birthday. “Come on, Teddy bear. You don’t know that your wish won’t come true. It’s only Christmas Eve.” I kiss his forehead and wipe his tears with my hand. “Why don’t you tell me what you asked for and I’ll make some calls? Make sure he got your letter.”
“I asked him if Joy could be my new mummy.” He wipes his nose on his sleeve, leaving a snotty trail. “I thought Santa had answered my wish cos while she was around she made everything better and you weren’t sad anymore.”
My heart cracks a little more. My own eyes swell with tears. The lump in the back of my throat renders me speechless. I set Teddy down on the floor and walk into the hall. Finally able to swallow the prickling lump, I pass Teddy his coat. “Get your coat on, son.”
He takes it from me with a bewildered look on his face. “Where are we going?”
I shrug on my jacket over the white t-shirt and checked lounge pants, then grab the car keys. “London.”
“But it’s Christmas Eve.”
“Exactly. Santa needs a little help delivering this year.”
28
JOY
Iwheel my suitcase across the marble tiles in Dad’s wide hall.
“What time’s your train?” Dad checks his Rolex for the tenth time.
“In about an hour. Sara’s picking me up from the station when I get back to Hollyville. You don’t need to fuss, Dad.”
“I could’ve driven you.”
“And listened to you trying to talk me out of everything the whole way there? No thanks. I know you mean well, Dad. And I love you for it, but this is my life.”
“I really wish you’d reconsider. You haven’t actually signed anything. It’s not too late to change your mind.”
“I won’t change my mind, Dad.” I kiss his cheek.
“Let me take you to the station, at least.”
“No need. I’ll get the tube.”
“What about him? That’s why you’re going, isn’t it? You want to spend Christmas with him?”
“Well, you’re going to be with Ruth, and yes. If he still loves me, I hope we can spend the day together.”
Dad’s jaw tightens.
