I brushed the snow off the table and took a bite of a pierogi. It was stuffed with cheese, mashed potatoes, mushrooms, and sauerkraut and was a starchy, slightly vinegary counterpoint to the spicy polish sausage.
“You should learn how to cook this,” Jack suggested, “to impress Merrie.”
“Just have it catered,” Owen countered.
“With that kind of initiative,” Jack said dryly, “is it any surprise that Holly agreed to marry you?”
Owen was smug. “She is not with me for my cooking ability.”
“Ahem.” Behind us, a woman cleared her throat in obvious annoyance. I turned around in my seat.
A woman with long, straight black hair, black gloves, and combat boots pushed her round sunglasses off her porcelain white nose. A black cat on a leash wound around her feet. He gave an eerie yowl more fitting for Halloween than Christmas.
“Morticia!” Jonathan jumped up to embrace her. The cat jumped up onto the wagon piled high with poinsettias, wreaths, garlands, and other decorations.
“I hate Christmas,” his girlfriend said in a flat voice.
“And it hates you too,” he said cheerfully, kissing her nose. She planted one hand with long black nails on his jaw and pulled him in for a proper kiss.
Then Jonathan’s girlfriend peered at me with black eyes. I shivered.
“I have come,” she said with a sigh, “to decorate your house for the Yuletide season.”
“I told you,” Jonathan insisted, “I have this.”
She jerked her chin at the plate of food in his hand. “You stood in line for forty-five minutes for that. Meanwhile, I have everything here for decorating.”
“I’ll pay you back,” he said, taking a bite of sausage.
“No need.” She smirked and pulled a black card out of her black dress. “I stole your American Express.”
Jonathan comically patted at his pants for his wallet.
“You,” Morticia barked at me. “Pack your snack. We have Christmas decorations to put up, and I don’t have all night. I have to prepare for the winter solstice festival.”
“Are you sacrificing a cat?”
The black cat meowed at me reproachfully.
“No,” Morticia practically purred, “this isn’t a sacrificing ritual. This is a sex ritual.”
An identical womanin a black dress and boots was waiting for us at my condo with even more Christmas decorations.
“I’m going to need a long cleansing bath after this,” Morticia’s twin sister, Lilith, complained when we arrived.
“I’m going to have to shave my head,” Morticia said, lip curling as she took out a chain saw and barbed wire. “I’ll never get the cinnamon scent out.”
Jonathan settled on my couch to eat the rest of his food.
I looked at Belle apprehensively. “Merrie isn’t going to want a creepy Christmas.”
Lilith held up what looked like a giant spider. “Not even one little bit creepy?”
Morticia and Lilithwere gifted designers, I gave them that. The open living room and kitchen space looked like a movie set. Garlands with lights, dried orange slices, and spices hung over every doorway. The fireplace had garlands and lights winding around a miniature Christmas scene with buildings resembling those in Harrogate, showing people in little Victorian outfits Christmas shopping. The sisters had added several smaller trees in the living room, my bedroom, and the guest rooms. Even the balcony had been decorated with garlands, poinsettias, and a sleigh seat for two with a big fur blanket that Kringle immediately jumped on. The chain saw had been used to carve up an ice sculpture on the balcony. The sculpture glittered from the café lights Lilith had made Owen and Jack string up.
The condo did look magical. It was missing only Merrie.
“I ordered you catering,” Owen informed me as he stacked the last of the firewood by the fireplace. “Your fridge just had eggs and celery in it.”
