“You signed a contract,” Dana said as I stormed to the elevator.
I turned and crossed the room to get in her face. She had two brothers and was unfazed.
“Fuck the contract. This was not part of the deal.”
“This mishap does not nullify the agreement you signed. You are still expected to be in the show. If you do not participate,” Dana continued, “we will be suing you.”
“You better not,” I snarled.
“Now, let’s all calm down. You men are always so histrionic,” Dana said, tossing her hair. “Chris, go talk to your lawyers. This is clearly a case where it should be an easy annulment.”
“It better be,” I warned, “or I’m taking you and your company down. As for you,” I said to Grace, “you better not think that this is going to be some easy payout. You’re not taking a dime from me.”
“Me?” Grace screeched. “You’re the mooch! You’re the one taking my hard-earned money. You ate my french fries. I bet you’re one of those fake-ass broke billionaires. I bet you’re trying to come aftermymoney!”
* * *
I was still speechlessafter Grace’s rant when I walked into the Svensson & Svensson law offices.
“I’m not broke,” I said finally aloud to the sign on the wall. “I’m a billionaire.”
“There’s the married man!” Eric said, walking out of the back office. “Drink?”
I nodded.
“Did you have a good wedding night?” Josh added as I slumped on the couch in Eric’s office. “Or fake wedding night?”
“No,” I said slowly, still a bit in shock, “it was real.”
“Nice dude! How was it?” Josh tried to fist-bump me.
I looked at his hand in a daze.
Eric slapped his brother’s hand away.
“You used protection, didn’t you?” Eric said, bending over to peer at me in concern. “You weren’t supposed to sleep with her! Dude, what if she gets pregnant?”
“You flushed the condom, didn’t you?” Josh prodded.
“I didn’t sleep with her,” I choked out.
Eric visibly relaxed and laughed nervously. “You had me there for a second, dude. Whew!”
“I’m actually married to her.”
They blanked for a second.
“Like we are legally married.”
“No, dude, no.”
Eric started pacing as I explained what had happened. “Okay, so it was a mistake, right? Neither of you wanted to enter into this contract.”
“It’s totally an annulment,” Josh said confidently.
“Totally,” Eric said, grabbing one of his law books and flipping to a reference page. “This says for New York State to grant an annulment, there has to be fraud or one party has to be mentally unstable when they entered into the contract.”
“This is fraud,” Josh said. “My man was lied to!”
