“I don’t know. Maybe it was genetically passed down,” I said, knowing it sounded dumb.
“I don’t think that’s how it works,” said Wyatt, tilting his head slightly in amusement before growing serious. “I hate to admit it, but I agree with Greg. A little. You’re obviously torn up about this because youcare.Maybe, there’s a part of you that wants this.”
“Maybe.” I shrugged, trying to wrap my head around the idea of being a father.
“Don’t let fear hold you back, man.” He clapped his hand around my shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze.
Maybe Wyatt was right, and Greg too.
Chapter 35
Gabriella
“You ready for this?” asked Juliet when I opened the door of my apartment. She held a cup of iced coffee in one hand and a cup of tea in the other.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I said, taking the cup of tea she handed to me. I took a sip, the soothing peppermint easing the nausea rolling in my stomach. “Thank you for this,” I said gratefully.
“Of course,” she said, striding into my apartment with her usual cool girl style. Today, her blonde hair was stick straight and she wore a pair of baggy jeans that cinched in at the waist with a black tank top sucked in. Meanwhile, I wore what looked like a muumuu because it was the only thing I was comfortable in. I wasn’t quite showing, but was still uncomfortable to wear anything form-fitting. I was in that awkward in between phase of “is she or isn’t she?”
“Thanks for offering to come with me today,” I said, following in after her and closing the door behind me. “I just need to finish my breakfast and I’ll be ready to go.”
Juliet nodded, taking a seat at the kitchen counter, next to the plate of eggs and toast I had made myself. I didn’t know why I bothered with the eggs. The only thing I could really stomach was the buttered toast, but I was trying to eat more than carbs for the baby’s sake. I sat down and took a bite of the golden toasted bread smothered in butter before pushing around the eggs with my fork, my stomach lurching at the yellow mush.
“Food aversion?” asked Juliet, eyeing my plate.
“I guess so,” I said. “Baby seems to only want carbs. Carbs with butter.”
“My kind of person,” said Juliet with a smile.
“You hungry?” I asked, going to get up from my chair. “I can whip something up real fast.”
“I’m okay, but thanks.”
I nodded, settling back in my chair. I felt on edge, knowing I had my second doctor appointment this morning. I was a bundle of nerves because this was the appointment that would make it all feel so real. Up until now, I just felt sick and groggy, like a bad hangover that lasted for weeks. It was strange to think I was pregnant when I hadn’t seen an ultrasound or heard a heartbeat, but that would all change today.
“Sooo, how are you feeling?” asked Juliet, gently prying.
“Nervous. Sick. Excited. Shocked that this is really happening.”
“I’m glad excited is in there,” she said with a warm smile. “Itisexciting. You get to see your baby today.”
I took a deep breath, letting those words sink in. I suddenly just wanted to be there, for the reality to sink in. I took another bite of toast before shoving the plate of eggs across the counter toward the sink.
“Let’s go,” I said. “We’ll be early, but I can’t sit and wait anymore.”
“Me either,” she agreed.
Thirty minutes later, our cab driver pulled up to the curb of the familiar brick building. I quickly paid him and shuffled out of the car after Juliet. She linked her arm with mine and smiled at me.
“Let’s go meet baby,” she said, tugging me toward the building. I let out a small giggle, her excitement rubbing off on me. I was thankful the dread I had been feeling the past few weeks had diminished to anticipation.
I let the receptionist know I was there and settled into a seat next to Juliet. We looked through baby magazines, pointing out different nurseries we liked and “oohing” and “aahing” over the tiny baby clothes. It was actually fun, until I saw a couple settleinto the chairs across from us. They were hand in hand, excited and nervous expressions on their faces. I felt a tug in my heart.
They looked so happy and in love. They had probably planned this, wanting to bring a baby into their lives to raise together. I watched as the man laid his hand gently on the woman’s stomach, stroking it with his thumb and leaning in to whisper something. I fought back the unexpected tears that burned at the backs of my eyes.
I realized that would never be me, and that I was going to be a single mother. I knew I had the support of my friends, and as grateful as I was for Juliet by my side, she would never fill the role of the baby’s father. No one would fill the role of Chandler. A small part of me wished he was here. Wished hewantedto be here.
I wondered what he was doing in that moment, as I waited for a life-changing doctor appointment. I hadn’t talked to him in days, not since he had texted me to pick up his dry cleaning. I wondered what his absence meant, worried that he had some sort of showdown with my father if he wasn’t contacting me about work.
