I rubbed my hands up my cheeks. “I don’t know, man. It’s ababy. That was not on my bingo card. Not now. Not ever, I don’t think. It’s a big fucking deal.”
“Yeah. It’s a big decision to make,” he said. “Do you know what Gabriella wants to do?”
I shook my head and looked down at the ground.
“You’re not talking?” he pried gently.
“Not aboutthat.”
“Do you think she’ll keep it?”
“No idea.”
“Well, don’t you think you should ask?” asked Wyatt, impatience in his voice.
“Why are you grilling me so much?” I snapped.
He closed his lips tightly and put his hand up in defense. He leaned back in his chair and stayed quiet. They were valid questions. Ones I had tried to answer myself many times since Gabriella had told me about the baby. It wasn’t like I had forgotten what a big deal this was. No matter how much I tried to run from it, I couldn’t.
The answer should be simple. I would be with Gabriella and have this baby with her. She was amazing. She was sharp, witty, effortlessly sexy, and challenged me without fear. She put me in my place when I needed it, even though it pissed me off. Not only could she take me on, but she was a good person. I saw how she was kind to everyone, and it wasn’t just for show or because she was the boss’s daughter. She genuinely had a good heart.
I knew she was scared and that her life had been turned upside down, but deep down, I knew she would be a good mother. Icould see it play out in my head so easily. Her rocking the baby to sleep. Dancing around the kitchen with the baby in her arms. Changing diapers with ease and warming up bottles. She would put so much care and love into being a mother. I wondered ifshecould see it herself. I wondered if anyone had told her, or if she was filled with doubt. I felt my guilt eat away at me for not being the support she needed.
But just as easily as I envisioned her being a good mother, I also could see how horrible of a father I would be. I didn’t know the first thing about babies, or caring about someone other than myself or my work. I was terrified I would screw everything up, and hurt Gabriella even more in the process. I wasn’t sure how I could explain that to her without it seeming like an excuse. Without it seeming like I was walking out on her.
Plus, I didn’t even know if she wanted me in her life anymore. It had been weeks since she told me about the baby, and I had iced her out, acting like it had never happened. I knew it hurt her. I saw it in her eyes that morning in the office when she showed up early to gather her things and I had shut the door on her, physically and emotionally.
“I’m sorry,” said Wyatt softly from across the table.
“Nah.” I waved him off. “I was an ass.”
“Well, if you’re admitting it…” He smirked.
I gave him a vulgar gesture before nodding toward the door. “Let’s grab a beer, yeah?”
“Please. The drama of your life calls for some alcohol.”
“Tell me about it.”
We settled in at the bar next door, finding two seats at the bar top. I took a long sip of the amber liquid and felt relaxed already as I sunk back into the barstool.
“Did Nathan tell you about my argument with Greg?” I asked, feeling more talkative now that everything was out in the open.
“An argument with Greg? You don’t say?” said Wyatt, dripping with sarcasm.
“Ha. Ha.” I muttered.
“What happened?” he laughed, taking a sip of beer.
“He said he cared about me and wanted to help.”
“Wow. What anasshole.”
I shot Wyatt a sharp look, to which he took another swig of beer to hide his smile.
“He told me I shouldn’t run from this. Something about being a father was all about the choices you make. He didn’t want me to make the same ones as my own father.”
“I mean, he’s right…” Wyatt shrugged. “You’re nothim, you know? Just because you had a shitty dad, doesn’t mean you have to be one, too.”
