I thought my brother would be with me today, and memories of him quickly swarm my thoughts. He always made this day special for me with a ridiculous cake, sometimes unwanted praises of my passing years, and always ended with a surprise present that he had handmade. Or he did, until he left.
The weight of what happened in my kingdom and to my family presses heavily on my chest. Every time I’m alone, I can’t help but reflect on my life’s most recent events: Carobon, Rohhit, and leaving Daramveer in a desperate attempt to flee. We move further from my kingdom with each passing second, and my stomach twists at the thought of what I left behind and what I’ll be returning to.
I’ve spent many nights pondering what I will do upon my return to Daramveer, and it always involves ensuring that Eden will never betray me again. I glance down at my dark-stained fingers. The shadows within me respond quickly when I payattention to the mark bestowed by Kalix. The veins swirl around my palms, and I allow a few shadows to come forward for a bit of release. Although the familiarity of my magic is comforting, I can’t shake the sense that something is amiss—like a pain within me is building.
I brush off the persistent discomfort and smooth my new clothes, chosen by Maines for this special occasion.
Maines and Oak have been enthusiastic about my birthday for far too long, likely planning something that will once again require me to wear a smile. I wish I could share in their excitement. Most days, I remain in my small cabin, reading the limited books we have on the ship, or visiting Myah to drown out my thoughts.
Silas refuses to leave my side, but I don’t mind. We’ve spent countless nights talking until dawn about Andorwood and planning for what’s ahead, yet we never discuss the night he saved me from Kalix. I worry that Silas is still hiding part of his life, much like I have for all these years. But, the days tick by until he must face the harsh reality of being on Andorwood soil, and though Silas has told me much about Andorwood, I can’t help but think there are many things he’s chosen to keep buried.
When we arrive, we will likely be greeted by his father, Malachi Nastronde—a ruthless man who tormented Silas for years. Although Silas has come to terms with his father’s actions, I’m not sure I can trust myself to be as forgiving.
Breaking out of my thoughts, I cross the threshold of my cabin and head toward the ship’s main deck. A few members of the crew bow as I pass, and I flash a smile and wave in their direction. Everyone has been so lovely and accommodating during our time on the ship. The narrow hallways felt cramped at first, but now they feel normal—they feel like home.
The sound of laughter hits my ears as I approach the steep staircase leading to the top deck. The narrow wooden stairscreak beneath my weight as I ascend. Oak and Maines are likely teasing each other about something trivial, and in this moment, I'm reminded how grateful I am to have them by my side.
As I near the top of the stairs, the wind begins to whip my long hair into my face. The fresh air tickles my nose, proving to be a nice break from the musty cabin air I’ve been accustomed to.
I peek over the top of the hatch and see a small table in the middle of the deck where Oak, Maines, and Silas are sitting and sipping dark wine, which explains their uncontrollable giggling. The table is decorated as well as it can be, with matching plates, a few silk napkins, a box I don’t recognize, and candles struggling to stay lit in the strong sea breeze. The spring air cools my reddened cheeks, but it’s carrying the first hints of warm days to come. My birthday always falls around the first warm day of spring.
I watch them for a moment as they talk amongst themselves—safe, and in this moment, happy. Silas laughs at something Oak says, his muscular neck tipping backward as his deep laughter floats into the night air. Maines joins in, and her amusement moves around the deck like music. My friends—my family—are before me, waiting for me. If they can relax now, maybe I should try as well.
Silas pauses, and his head snaps in my direction, and I awkwardly wave. I’m caught snooping and grin, this time a genuine smile.
Smiling isn’t so hard, Briar.
You can do this.
“There she is.” Silas stands, his chair moving back with force.
Maines and Oak follow suit. “Happy birthday!” they both shout, laughing.
Oak’s glass tips slightly, spilling some of the red liquid. “Fuck,” he shouts, flumbling the glass.
I smile and continue up the last steps, joining them on the deck.
“We thought you were going to miss your own party,” Maines laughs, wrapping her arms around my neck for a warm embrace.
“I know you all would never let that happen,” I joke.
“Come. Sit with us. We are celebrating tonight,” Oak urges, ushering us back toward the cozy table setting. “And drinking.”
Their eyes remain fixed on mine as I sit down, smoothing my blouse dotted with wrinkles. Maines smiles broadly, attempting to make me feel more at ease.
“What is everyone staring at? Can you all please act normal?” I cringe at their eyes upon me. “It’s just another day, after all.”
“Nothing,” Maines cuts in, and smiles. “We are just happy to see you here with us. You spend too much time below deck. Some fresh air will do you good tonight.”
“She’s right,” Oak chimes in. “You spend more time with Myah than with us. I think Silas is starting to get jealous.”
Silas flashes Oak a warning gaze, mouthing, “Careful.”
“Oh, relax, you grump,” Oak laughs.
Silas tips back in his chair, stretching his large arms over his head as he takes a breath. His powerful muscles dance in the moonlight, and even Maines watches him.
“We’ve all been through a lot recently,” Silas says, shrugging nonchalantly. “Let's cut Briar some slack on how she spends her days. I can assure you,” Silas winks in my direction, “that I am not jealous.”
