“I can’t.”She lowered her head, her stringy hair curtaining her face as she sobbed.“She didn’t want me.I wasn’t good enough.I couldn’t do anything, protect anyone.”
Kai pulled her to him, his heart squeezing to hear her cry.Like River had with him, he guided her to rest her forehead on his shoulder and buried his own face in the crook of her neck, wishing he could comfort her, comfort himself.But he couldn’t.
River slid up beside him, reaching his own arms around the both of them.His chin rested on the back of Kai’s neck, and Kai could feel his fury simmering too, his helplessness.
Ione’s sobs quieted.Sniffling, she raised her head.“I can’t go back,” she whispered.She trembled, her expression broken, desolate.“I can’t face them again.I’d rather die.”As though the weight of those words hit her only after she’d said them, her face twisted with grief.“I want to die.Everything I ever had, ever was, is…”
“Ione,” River hissed, his voice strangled.
Kai took her face in both hands and pressed his lips to her forehead.His mind chantedYou’re loved, you’re loved, you’re loved, but the words didn’t come out.He couldn’t say anything at all.
The Tannos’s masts and furled sails cut an ominous figure against the early sky.The docks brimmed with energy: priests scurrying to board the ship, Hilo’s crew shouting commands and blowing whistles.Kai set his jaw as Cynthia rejoined them, absently patting himself down for his cigarette box before deciding the last thing he wanted right now was to breathe more smoke.
Hilo met them at the end of the dock, all but standing in between them and the gangway leading onto the Tannos.He smiled at his little brother and his entourage, and tonight more than ever it felt to Kai like he was looking into a cold, callous mirror.
“What pranks have the gods played on us today?”Hilo’s smile widened into a grin, sharp eyeteeth catching in the dawn light.His eyes slid over Kai and his friends, idling hungrily on Ione hiding in the back.“Welcome to the Tannos.”
Kai nodded his thanks, sensing that his brother was in a mean mood and feeling stupid for not having expected it.Their tenuous peace was rocked when Kai became Oseidos’s warden, and again, worse, when Kai announced his engagement to Ione.Now, as Menon, Kai supposed he and Hilo would never enjoy the pretence of brotherhood again.
Kai willed himself to neutrality.“It’s an hour-odd journey to Caelos, I reckon – ”
“Hour-and-a-half,” Hilo supplied, like Kai was an idiot.“We have to go around to the inner bay.”
“ – and we are very tired, so – ”
“I’ll bet.Some wedding, huh?I’d say you broke the record for the fastest divorce.”He feigned a pout, looking from River to Ione, and back to Kai.“First your man and then the lady.Is no one safe from you?”
Kai felt each of them tense, himself included.“Just let us onto the ship or I’ll throw you into the sea.”
“With your special new powers?”He wiggled his fingers, whistling mysteriously.“Sure, it’d be a treat having a fight with you last more than a minute.”
Sick of this, Kai tried to push past him, but Hilo stepped in the way, evidently not finished screwing with him.Beside him, River let out an irritated breath.There was a whisper of metal, and then Hilo hissed and stepped back, hands up, as River pointed the tip of his rapier at Hilo’s throat.
“You’re disrespecting not only your goddess – ” River took one, two, three steps forward, forcing Hilo closer and closer to the edge of the dock.“ – but also his seleneschals, our shrine, and the people we lost tonight.”He lifted his chin.“Let us pass, or experience firsthand how Menon treats Her enemies.”
Thank the gods for River’s acting skills.Bit by bit, he and Hilo eased away from one another, until finally River sheathed his sword and Hilo lowered his hands.
“Fine, damn,” Hilo managed.He sketched a mock bow.“After you, then,Menon.”
With a look towards Kai, who shrugged, River let that go.“I presume you’re the captain of this ship?”River asked, his tone filled with such resplendent disdain that Kai could’ve hugged him.
“I –Yes.Of course I am.”
“Good.”Still standing guard, River motioned for the others to climb the gangway first.“We will be using your quarters.”He turned, ignoring Hilo’s sputtering response, and followed Kai up into the ship.“Since you’re such a gracious host, it’s the least you can do.”
Exhaustion blanketed them the moment they shut themselves into Hilo’s quarters in the stern, leaving them all quiet, morose.Ione left them first, gathering cushions from the sofa and building herself a nest at the bay window.She curled up within them and laid her head against the glass.Cynthia followed, stopping first at a serving table laden with trays of fruit and bread and cured meats; she made up a small plate and took it with her to the window, futilely offering Ione bits and pieces before, giving up, she ate them, herself.
“The crew brought supplies,” Cynthia said, scratching her hair.Like the rest of them, Kai realised, she was coated with ash and grime.“There might be new clothes, or a place we can wash ours.”She leaned towards Ione, tilting her head so that she was in her line of sight.“Do you want to come?”A pause.“No?”
Kai surveyed the cabin he used to wish was his.Wide bay windows before an enormous desk; plenty of food and drink, a bookshelf, an empty birdcage.A deadly-looking shark’s jaw hung over the window, something Hilo had killed years ago.Beyond two heavy doors lay Hilo’s bedroom and bathing room, but all Kai saw right now was a cabinet behind the table of food.
He strode right to it and picked out a bottle of wine and a mug.He tore the cork out with his teeth and poured himself a glass, needing to dull the awful, buzzing sensation in his gut.A quickening, like silkworms marching beneath his skin, spinning cocoons in his stomach.Menon was making Herself right at home, he noted dourly.
He felt River close in behind him.“Don’t get drunk,” he whispered.“Not now.You need a level head.”
“What I need is this wine and a nap.”Kai held his stare and took a long, deliberate gulp.“You’re my level head now,” he said tartly.“And you’regreatat it.”He suppressed a sigh and rubbed his grimy face.He hadn’t meant it to come out like that.“I’m sorry,” he murmured.“Really.Youweregreat.If you weren’t here, I don’t know – ”
“That’s how you have to be.”River cast for him, but Kai whipped his wrist back and finished the mug.“You can hate it all you want, Kai, but you need to play your part, too.You can’t sit around drinking and expect the rest of us to pick up the pieces for you.”
