River realised a beat late that Kai was looking back at him, eyes unnaturally blue again in this light.For once there was no snide remark, no mischievous smirk.Kai’s throat bobbed as he swallowed; he chewed his lips, his gaze falling briefly to River’s.
River wasn’t supposed to notice these things.He’d had a serious talk with himself about it after his last disastrous infatuation – always on friends, always a risk, always painful – and promised himself he would be more like Cynthia, violently rejecting relationships, neither wanting to touch or be touched.Noticing the curve of Kai’s broad shoulders, the spiced smoke scent of him, meant that River had failed to keep him at bay.That he had been weak.
He felt fingertips graze his thigh, featherlight, a question.River couldn’t move, his own heartbeat making him dizzy; he felt faraway, helpless, as Kai leaned in.
The first brush of a tongue against his lower lip clanged through him, warning bells.River lurched back, his pulse drumming so fast his limbs ached.“No.”
Kai’s breath caught, surprise colouring his features.“I, uh – ” He slid away, the hand on River’s thigh snatched back.He coughed, rubbed his mouth.“Fuck.I’m sorry.I – did I misread…?”
“Yes.You did.”His heart thundered.Safe!He’d protected himself, felt proud; heard, distantly, a harsh laugh.“After all the people you told me about, did you really think I’d be your next plaything?”
Kai blanched, stricken.“Plaything –what?”
“The carpenter, the maid, the cook.Didn’t you mention Etan’s quartermaster?The Cetos’s rigger?”
A deep flush crept back into Kai’s cheeks, and he looked so confused River wanted to punch him.“They – they were just stories.Shit that’s happened to me.”
“Shityou didto people.”
“They were just… stories,” Kai repeated, utterly, stupidly aghast.“Funny stories.No one was that hurt.”
“Noneof it was funny.It was cruel and you know damn well you hurt people.”River stood, fists clenched, unable to be near him.Kai looked small, staring wide-eyed up at him from the bench.
“You – with you, I was – ”
“Genuine?I’m special, you really like me, you mean it this time?”River scoffed.“Do you think I’m stupid?”
Kai shook his head,no, no, no.
“Get out.”
Kai flew into action, shaky hands grabbing his case, packing his violin away, struggling to lock it.Cursing, he pinned it under one arm and clambered off the bench, his face beet-red.
“Stay away from me,” River called as he raced to the door.“And stay away from Ione.The last thing she needs is someone else trying to use her.”He couldn’t help but throw out one last barb, he didn’t know why, he’d already won.“The only reason I was hanging around you to begin with was to keep you away from her.”
Kai stopped, one hand on the doorknob, and River braced himself, ready for him to spin around and throw the first punch.But he didn’t.His shoulders rose and fell, deep, ragged breaths.
“You, Ione, Lina,” he murmured, still facing the door.“Yous all disliked me before you even met me, and I guess I haven’t done anything to help that since.”He turned, frigid.“Fine, then.If you think I’m such a bastard, then I will be.”
The door clicked shut behind him, leaving River alone in the burgeoning twilight.Safe.He had saved himself, of course he had.Would continue to save Ione, to protect her.
However sure he was of it, though, didn’t stop the dull ache low in his gut from watching Kai walk away.
Chapter Twelve
Lina
Summer’s End marked the first day of the eighth month, a holiday well-celebrated among Soliz’s priesthood.Still half-asleep and surrounded by the buzz of her peers in the refectory as they prepared for another regular day, Lina picked at a bowl of fruit, her mind on a rare bright spot in her childhood.Travelling with her family and the high priests up to Rigel’s private estate in Eastwick, playing games with Castor and his friends out in the rolling fields; eating ripe goldenberries under the yearly meteor shower and thanking Sowelan for another good season.
It was once a farmer’s holiday, but for Soliz, it was a time to visit family, to plan ahead for the coming year.For a moment she was a child again, her legs swinging over the edge of a too-big chair, savouring the tart burst of goldenberries and sweet cream.The adults murmured, grown-up talk she didn’t understand and didn’t care to, and Castor would sit beside her, food untouched.Always listening, learning.
Praise be to Sowelan.And to the heathens, the traitors, a swift and pure death, a bright and shining flame.
A door burst open, slammed against the wall.All heads turned towards a priest Lina knew from Caelos, pale and shaky, too far from Lina to hear what he said.Hushed whispers, a shrill gasp, a victorious cry.Grown-up talk, except that Lina no longer had the privilege to tune it out.
“Did you hear that?”Ami, among the many dispersing to relay the news.She braced her hands against the table, face leaned close, eyes gleaming.“This morning Archpriest Saros ordered a raid on some manor belonging to Soliz Shrine.”
People filtered in and out of her periphery, talk, talk, talk, voices drowned by the hammering of her own heartbeat.Lina felt herself ask, “Manor?”
