“Tell them I’ll birth a fine child,” Kai suggested, and River laughed.
“They didn’t find it funny.”
“We’ll get a cat.”Kai snapped his fingers.“Same thing.”
River laughed again, making him feel warm.And then he sobered, sighing.“Mum’s family’s here, so I need to show my face to all the aunties and cousins.”He reached, brushing the backs of his fingers against Kai’s.A small comfort, hidden from the rest of the room.
Kai swallowed, his eyes trained on River’s hand.The long, clever fingers, each movement at once elegant and precise.He wanted to stop pretending, to grab River’s hand and haul him back into his room; to feel those fingers around his wrists, his throat, his cock.
River raised one eyebrow, his smile turning wicked.“Pure thoughts, Holiness.I’ll meet you later.”He ran his fingertip along the rim of Kai’s half-empty bowl.“Eat.”
Watching River go made him feel lonely, and then stupid.Kai dug into his food, annoyed with himself, his brain chanting at him that they had time, they had each other, they would survive Saros’s parley and avoid war and adopt three cats and maybe a parrot.Menon would miraculously disappear and they’d all live happily ever after.
He’d had enough of glory.He wanted peace.
He gathered that Menon thought him pathetic, because a bolt of pain shot through him then, ricocheting like lightning in his brain.Kai dropped his spoon and groaned, pressing his palms against his eyelids.“Fuckingbitch,” he hissed, barely cognizant of another presence sidling past his table.
“What’dIdo?”
Kai squinted, catching a length of copper hair.“Red,” he ground out, “You seen Lina today?”
She cocked an eyebrow, an empty tray slung under one arm.“My name’s Ami and you know it.”
Kai blew out a breath, willing the pain to diminish to a dull pulse.“Ami,” he said with commendable politeness, “I graciously request a report on our mutual acquaintance, Lina Almemorrow, who is causing me a great deal of agony.”
Ami shrugged.“She’s fine.”
“She’sfine?”Kai repeated, scandalised.He tapped his throbbing forehead.“It feels like she’s doing fucking cartwheels in here.Menon is gettingveryupset.”
“Poor Menon.We were talking about this earlier and Ione suggested you drink less.”She held up a hand, innocent.“Don’t shoot the messenger.”
“Helpful.Well, messenger, go ’head and tell Ineen she can suck my cock, and that I’ve been miserably sober for days.”His gaze flicked to River at his family’s table, smiling at something his grandmother was saying.Kai didn’t care one way or another about old people, but seeing River being all sweet and courteous to his grandmother made his stomach flutter.“Maybe notmiserably.”
Ami followed his gaze.“Good save,” she said.“When’d that happen, officially?”
“Why?”
“I’ve money riding on it.”
Whatever look he sent her shut her up.
“Anyhow,” she said, serious again, “Lina said meditation’s helped.”
“Oh, class, sitting andthinking.”
Ami hugged the tray and donned a lofty expression.“Take it or leave it.Lina doesn’t have headaches.She feels, er, Sowelan – ” She lowered her voice further, here, like Sowelan’s name was a curse, which it kind of was.“ – doing cartwheels, as you put it, whenever you’re near her in the building, but that’s it.She’s coming to terms with His presence.”She pointed at him.“You’ve been ignoring Menon’s.”
Connecting to Menon made sense, and he was happy to hear it was working for Lina and fucking Sowelan.But when Kai thought of trying it, he remembered the loss of control over himself, the witnessing of brilliant feats of magical prowess – and horrifying acts of violence.
He hadn’t told River that Menon had considered killing him for restraining Her in Soliz.Trying to convince Menon to leave River alone was like screaming down a yawning cavern; that She listened to him at all felt unbelievable, something he wasn’t certain he could replicate.
If Kai tried to connect to Her and failed, who might get hurt?
Die?
Kai managed a weakThanksand let Ami go.Unable to stomach any more food, cold and gelatinous now, he cast for the mug of tea.Drink, Saros had said and, desperate for peace, Kai obeyed.
Having endured more wards and suffered to Saros’s satisfaction, Kai slithered away that evening and found himself a burnt cave of a library on the lower level, not yet refurbished, to hide away in with River for a while before bed.A little treat.
