He had been raised to protect her, but in the end she didn’t need him.Any of them.River grinned, prouder than he’d ever felt in his life.
“And,” Cynthia finished grandly, although not without another nervous glance at the door.She lowered her voice and steepled her fingers.“She’s, uh… she brought Lina.As in, Sowelan.”She pointed.“Two halls over.”
Kai laughed again, half-hysterical.“Oh, naturally!Aye, Ineen, shove the flammable god into the same building as the powder keg.”
Although he laughed, River caught the chord of apprehension in it.He squeezed Kai’s fingers and helped him back to his feet, his mind racing to make this building seem less like a time bomb.As long as Kai and Lina remained separate they would, in theory, keep their two gods at bay.But what did Ione expect to do – hide Lina in her room forever?
“Who else knows?”River asked.
“Everyone knows Ione returned.”Cynthia winced and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.“Hilo knows about Sowelan, obviously.And – Mikau and Ami know now, too.”
Kai shifted his weight, calculating.“Hilo’s fine,” he decided.“I’m not sure about Mikau and Red.”
“Mikau’s trustworthy,” River said.
“And Ami was Lina’s friend from Caelos,” Cynthia agreed.“She’ll be fine, too.”
After a while, Kai nodded.“I presume Her Ladyship won’t be seeing any visitors who might fly off the handle and knock the whole shrine into the sea.”His hand tightened around River’s and he smiled, slow and peaceful.“Send them my regards, will you?”
Cynthia saluted.“And River?”She half-turned and tilted her head, employing her knowing little smirk as her gaze flicked between them.“Will I tell her… you’ll visit her later?”
River’s heart jolted when Kai did not let go.“Yes – after lunch.”
Silence blanketed them again after the door creaked shut behind her, and at last both of them released one long, cathartic breath.Let some heavy presence lift from them, leaving them both free, rudderless aside from their clasped hands.
Kai regarded him, his expression warm, his usual cynical smirk tempered to something softer.Sweeter.“So many failures in my life,” he murmured, “And so many weights on my shoulders.”He withdrew, eyes down, twisting his wedding band around his finger.Without ceremony he removed the thin silver ring and held it to the light.“But – thank the gods, she’s no longer one of them.”
Still smiling faintly, solemnly, Kai set the ring atop the chest of drawers.
River swallowed, his mouth dry.“Very dramatic,” he said, although his blood thundered as Kai faced him.
“That’s me, Riv.I…” Kai raked his hair back, reddening, and with a quick breath forged on, “I had a lot I wanted to say after heroically saving you and Ineen from Soliz, but failing that and cycling through several stages of grief has, uh…”
River wrinkled his nose.“You’re usually so good at charming people.”
That brought him back.Snorting, Kai punched him lightly in the arm.“I’m trying to be sincere, you twat.I’m trying to say that… I’ve never been so afraid as I have been this week.Of everything – of Menon, of myself, of what I’m supposed to do.”Bit by bit he inched closer, and when River offered his hand, he grasped it.
“You were always steady,” Kai murmured.“Stable.When I was afraid, you were there.When I was drunk, when I felt like I was drowning, you were there.Even though I’ve been a bastard, even though I’ve hurt people and I might’ve hurt you, too, you were there.”
“Except – briefly,” River broke in.“That day, in my room – I’m sorry for how I spoke to you.”He glanced away, heating, although the flicker of surprise in Kai’s expression told him that he’d forgiven him long ago.“I should’ve apologised before this.”
“We’ve been busy,” Kai granted him.
“Wehavebeen,” River shot back, cross.
“Even though I was so hurt.”Kai mimed wiping a tear from his eyes, forlorn.“And I wrote such a sad poem about it in my diary.”
“Fuck you, Kai,I’mtrying to be sincere.”
“Well, don’t stop on my account.I like it.All of it, I – ” He lowered his face, bashful, his gaze locked on River’s hand clasped in his.“I thought, once or twice, that I wouldn’t have the chance to talk to you.Be sincere.”A tinge of humour.“Graciously accept your apology.”His throat bobbed, making his smile waver.“But when I saw you were safe on Oseidos, in Soliz, I… I don’t have words for how I felt, when I saw you were safe.When I saw that I still had you.”
Reverently, he lifted River’s hand to his lips.A shiver of electricity coursed through River’s veins at the softness of his touch, as gentle as candlelight.Any doubt, any worry River had ever had about him vanished at the way Kai looked at him, at the scorching intensity of his focus.
No hint of divine silver, of Menon lurking just beneath the surface.
Just Kai, looking at him exactly as he did that golden afternoon on Oseidos.Like River was all he saw, was who he’d wanted from the very beginning.
River smiled, feeling stupid – so stupid for shoving Kai away that day.
