“God, my life is depressing. Stevie somehow has an almost-boyfriend she doesn’t even remember, and I’m still single,” Rory mutters into her cup of coffee.
Savannah ignores her, eyes still trained on me.
“Savannah, I can’t justaskhim. I mean, isn’t he supposed to ask me?”
“Well, clearly he’s just as timid as you are about expressing his feelings, so you’re going to have to step up if you want this to happen,” she replies bluntly.
Maybe she’s right and I should just do it. I’ve spent most of my teenage life not understanding how everyone except me was developing crushes or falling in love, thinking something was wrong with me because it just wasn’t happening for me. But now apparently it has. If Rory and Savannah say I had a crush on him before, then I’msureI can have a crush on him again.
I want to keep pushing forward, and if this was the path my life was headed on before the accident, I need to take it. Plus, Rory and Savannah would never steer me wrong.
Soon Ryan comes back with our three plates piled high with food. I watch him carefully set each one down on the table, the light smell of his laundry detergent swirling around as he leans across me.
“Ow!” I grunt, gritting my teeth as a foot collides with my shin under the table. Savannah’s wide eyes look as intimidating as ever, but when I reach for the words, I have no idea what to say. This is all happening too fast. So I just thank him and pick up my fork as he starts to leave. I can try again another time.
“Hey, Ryan?” Savannah speaks up, and he reappears beside the table.
“What can I get for you?”
“Actually,we”—she gestures to me across the table—“want to know if you’d like to hang out with us. Well, me and my boyfriend, and you and Stevie,” she clarifies, and I slink down in the booth a couple of inches, trying not to die from embarrassment.
“Yeah, totally,” Ryan answers quickly, and I look up to find him beaming down at me.
“Really?” I ask.
“The county fair is in town this weekend. I don’t know if that’s your thing or not?” He raises his eyebrows at me.Oh my God.Is he… kind of askingmeout now? I try to keep calm.
“I’ve always been a sucker for overpriced games,” I joke. “Savannah?”
She brushes her perfect hair behind her ear and purses her lips as she digs into her pancakes. “Mmm. Rusty rides, mud, and fried food.Lovethat for me.”
“Friday, six p.m. by the Ferris wheel?” Ryan asks me, ignoring Savannah’s sarcasm.
“Yeah. Here. Let me get your number just in case,” I say, handing him my phone. He inputs his number and hands it back to me.
“See you there,” he says, then turns to check on his other tables.
“Girl.”Savannah smiles crazily at me.
“I know!” I reply, trying to match her excitement.
“What are you going to wear? Ryan strikes me as the type of guy to like something a little more casual, you know?” Rory asks animatedly, even though she isn’t coming.
“Uh, yeah. Whatever you think,” I tell her.
The two of them start telling me what they think I should and shouldn’t wear on Friday, how to do my makeup, and tips on how to be flirty… “but not slutty,” Rory adds.
I know I should be paying attention. I should be interested in this conversation. I should be on cloud nine that this boy I like likes me back.
But I can’t stop thinking about how much easier this would all be if I could only justrememberhow it felt. I look down at my phone, which is still lit up with Ryan’s contact. A few lines above it I spy Nora’s.
Maybe if Nora can show me the site of the accident, it’ll all just come back to me. My two years of lost memories, my crush on Ryan, the reason I was in the woods that day, the reason things feel slightly off with just about everyone in my life.
I nod my head and laugh and say, “Sounds good” when it’s necessary as we talk our way through the rest of breakfast. But the moment we part ways outside the Dinor, I pull out my phone and scroll right past Ryan’s contact and up to Nora’s name.
Hey, you free tomorrow?I text her.
It’s time to find out what I was doing in the woods that day.
