If you really have lost two years, then you would’ve freaked out at just the idea that you could be with a girl, let alone me.
I thought if I could just see you I would feel… I don’t know… relieved? Like if I could only be near you, everything would be okay, but things feel more complicated than ever. I hope something comes back to you when you get to the farm. Maybe it’s a bad idea having you come when I still haven’t figured this out, but I couldn’t say no… I mean, I didn’t want to. I want to be with you. It’s just that I don’t know how to be around you like this… It hurts. I miss you. I miss YOU. The you that remembers me. The you that’s in love with me. I wanted to reach over and wipe those tears away myself, not just pass you a stupid wad of napkins.
This is so fucking frustrating, but we’ll figure it out. I know we will.
Just hang in there, babe.
Love,
Nora
CHAPTER 14
SO HOW WAS ‘WORK’?” RORYasks, taking a long slurp of coffee from a classic chunky mug stamped with the Dinor’s red-and-yellow logo. I can hear the air quotes, like she’s still not sure she believes that’s where I was, but I decide to ignore them.
“It was so bad that I literally am not ready to talk about it yet,” I reply. I consider telling them about Nora, but they probably wouldn’t appreciate me making plans to hang out with her when I’ve apparently been a crappy friend to them recently. “What have you guys been—”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Savannah tries to whisper, while somehow managing to shout. I watch her blue eyes track something coming up behind me, and I turn around to find a boy our age, with a red apron tied around his waist.
“Hey.” He looks right at me, recognition filling his brown eyes, but none fills me. In fact I don’t think I’veeverseen another Asian kid in this town, or even in the county. I can’t help but be surprised. “I heard what happened. Holy shit, I’m so glad you’re okay,” he continues.
“Oh, uhh.” I look away, confused. “How did you hear?”
“Small town.” He shrugs, flicking his head to get the hairout of his eyes. “And this place is like gossip central, so I’m basically Wyatt’s Keeper of Secrets.” He shakes his head, laughing, but something in my face must make him pause. “Anyway, sorry. It’s probably not something you want to talk about. What can I get for you guys?” he asks, holding up his notepad and turning to my friends.
As Savannah and Rory order our usual short stacks of pancakes, my eyes float down to his name tag.
Ryan.
Oh my God. This is him. The guy I supposedly like. I look at him again with fresh eyes. Heisactually cute, and that joke was pretty funny. I look up at his face again, waiting for some spark to hit or a flutter in my stomach, all the telltale signs I’ve read about and watched in movies. I try to really take in his angular jaw and sparkly smile and eyes that are… looking right at me, waiting. Oh, right. “Uh, same. Short stack,” I say.
“Really? Not your usual?” He taps his pen against the pad. “You’ve been getting the same thing for as long as I’ve worked here. Two eggs over medium, bacon, hash browns, and wheat with no butter.”
“Well, I’m gladyouremember, because I definitely don’t.” I try to force out a flirty-sounding laugh, glancing at Savannah and Rory across the table.
“Just stuck in my head for some reason,” he says with a nervous laugh, almost like he’s embarrassed, tapping his pen against his temple.
“I’ll take that instead,” I say, smiling. “Maybe it’ll help something stick in mine.”
“This is Stevie, by the way,” Savannah cuts in, pointing tome. “I’m Savannah and this is Rory. We just graduated from Central Catholic.”
“Hi.” He gives a little wave. “Nice to officially meet you guys. I actually just graduated from Wyatt,” he says, mostly to me. “I’ll have these right out for you.” By the time he disappears back into the kitchen, Rory is basically vibrating in the booth as Savannah’s hands fly across the table to grab mine.
“See,”she says. “You do like him, don’t you!” Their eyes are on me and my cheeks are hot and I can’t think of anything to do but smile to cover my nerves. And she immediately takes it as confirmation. “I knew it. You love him.”
“I didn’t say that!” I pull my hands out of hers and lean back against the booth.
“Well, you didn’t have to. It was all over your face.”
“It was?” I ask, and Rory nods her head dramatically. But I don’t know how anything could be on my face when I don’t really feel anything inside. Maybe… maybe I just need to give him a chance, get to know him all over again.
Still, I do wonder… “If I liked him as much as you two say I did, what stopped me before from like… doing something about it?”
“You? Talk to a boy of your own volition? Slim chance,” Savannah says, “but we’re not going to let that happen again. So when he comes back, you’re going to ask him to hang out with the three of us. I’ll invite Jake, too, so it’s not weird.”
“I amnotinterested in fifth-wheeling it. Hard pass,” Rory cuts in.
“So we’ll double. Okay?” Savannah’s blue eyes flash at me expectantly, and I let out a sigh but don’t respond.
