“That slave monk ofSigurd’s.The one who taught me Latin… He used to rant about theeternal torments of hell that awaited us infidels.”
“Well, I’m sure you gavehim good reason.”
“We thought at first hemeant our goddess Hel, or the Hel river to the underworld.When weunderstood him at last, we laughed at him.As if any god—or evenyour Christian devil—would spend all eternity spiking mere humanswith forks, or burning them on fires.”
“I suppose the arrangementsforyourdamned souls are far better.”
“Oh, we have our Underworld.Itis called Helheim—the house of Goddess Hel, and so you Christianshaven’t even come up with an original name for the place.I am notsure that we have damned souls, though.Only those unfortunateenough not to die a hero’s death in battle.”Fen snapped Eldra’sreins, and she picked up speed, neatly rounding an outcrop ofrocks.“The rest of us gallop straight across Bifrost, the rainbowbridge into Valhalla.So no fears of the afterlife troubleourhearts,monk.”
“I should’ve let you talkto Ben.I brought him little enough comfort.”
“Ah, half of it dependsupon the man.You heard the same sermon, and you are not on yourknees weeping over your sins.Are you?”
No.Cai was bolt upright, his spinestraight.He could see for miles, and he felt fine.“Maybe I oughtto be.”
“Nonsense.Die on thebattlefield—you seem fond enough of fighting—and you too might flyto Valhalla.I’m sure Thor will overlook the skirt.”
Cai didn’t point out that two sets ofskirts would have to be overlooked at present.Fen was beaming,thoroughly pleased with his joke and his spiritual prospects.Cailet him get on with it.Somebody around here should be happy.AndCai could see the virtues of the warrior’s way.It didn’t have tobe the same as Broc’s, low and dirty, though Broc had shown himenough of it to give him the skills.Speaking of which… “Who says Ican’t drive this thing?”
“I didn’t.I just said Iwould do it better.”
“And what makes you thinkso?”
“I have to do it betterthan a monk.You’re free to prove me wrong.”
Fen offered him the reins withexaggerated courtesy.Cai stepped into the place he’d conceded.Theleather was warm and smooth where Fen had held it, Eldra’s mouth awilling, vigorous tug on the bit.Instinctively Cai adjusted hisgrip so he wouldn’t restrict her.He leaned forwards over the rim.“Go on, girl,” he called, paying her out a little more rein.“Goon!”
Fen had left him with the easy part.The rocks and the turf were behind them, the beach ahead.The tidewas out, the sand hard-packed and firm.Eldra stretched her paceout to a battlefield gallop and took off.
It was a beautiful run.Eldra, sturdyand tireless, flew across the strand.Cai straightened her outalong the water’s edge, so that her hooves sent up explosions ofspray.The chariot wheel hit a stone, jouncing the carriage, andFen yelled with laughter and slung an arm around Cai’s waist,steadying himself, securing them both.
He didn’t take the arm away when theywere running smooth again.Cai didn’t question the continuedembrace.It felt right, to be pelting through the hoofbeat thunderwith a brother warrior’s hold on him.Doubts and tormented thoughtsdropped away from him.He drew deep breaths of the rich air.Sprayand sand stung his face, and he drove Eldra on, faster and faster.He was pinned from the waist down between the chariot’s rail andFen’s warm, whipcord frame.The rhythmic jolting made his fleshbegin to ache, a yearning like music, like the relief of tears.Hewas still alive, wasn’t he?No matter how hard he’d wished himselfburied under the hawthorns at Leof’s side, here he was.Energysurged in him.
“Still think you can dobetter, then?”
“I don’t want to try.I’lljust watch you.”
Cai sent Eldra flying out along thestrand.Here, if he’d wished, he could have galloped for hours—thesea margin ran flat and golden-white all the way to Berewic in thenorth, a great, long, welcoming smile of a place, now at this pitchof late spring nothing but wide, empty beauty, singing to him fromthe sky.He wasn’t sure what impulse made him turn the horse’s heada little inland, so that her hooves struck softer sand, the drag onthe wheels slowing the chariot up.The dunes were tall here.Theircrescents echoed the crescent of the great bay, music in shapes andforms.When Eldra tore along their edges, following their curve,she and Cai and Fen were part of the music too.This convictionseeped into Cai’s blood, and he eased back on the reins to listen.Oh, it was like the sea bells, only deeper,overwhelming…
“Had enough,monk?”
No.Cai was quite sure that he hadn’thad enough—not of anything.He was young.He’d barely had a chanceto set his lips to life’s cup, and he was hungry and thirsty in ahundred ways at once.Ignoring Fen’s laughter and tightening gripround his waist, he drew Eldra to a trot, and then a sweaty,snorting standstill.He hitched the reins to the rail.You neverleft your horse loose, no matter what tides were rising inside you.Beyond that, Cai’s thought systems failed him.His mind was adazzled blank when he turned, eyes closed, mouth opening like arose, into Fen’s arms.
Fen grunted, as if despite everything,this had surprised him.It was only for a heartbeat.He seized Caihard.He closed his hand on Cai’s throat and jaw, tight enough tosend a splash of fear into Cai’s arousal, and stilled him with agrip to the back of his skull.Their mouths met in hot, salt-rimedimpact.Cai groaned, pushing back at him, shoving off the chariotrail to meet him.He wanted to kill him, devour him, pounce withhim into the sand, wolf to wolf.Violent images flashed through hismind, cravings and needs he’d never come close to feeling when he’dgone and lain down in the dunes with…
With Leof.Oh, God.Cai tore back, sohard that Fen’s restraining grip on him almost cracked his ribs.“Stop.Let me go.”
“What?You’re stiff as aspear.”
“I know.But Ican’t—”
Fen released him.Cai was brieflyrelieved—disappointed—but only long enough for Fen to leap down offthe board and hold up one imperious hand to him.“You can.Comehere, monk.Do as you’re bidden.”
Cai sprang down.“Do asyou’rebidden?”he echoed incredulously.He knocked aside Fen’s graspand seized the front of the raider’s cassock.“Who the devil do youthink you are?”
“A prince of the TorleikDanes,” Fen informed him.“I honour you with my touch.”Cai triedto punch him to show how honoured he felt, but Fen didn’t blink,catching his fist in midair.“I am not like some of my kind, whorape the Saxon peasants in their huts.I will lie only with myequal.”
“Whether he likes it ornot?”
