But Theo had never turned tophilosophy when faced with unhappy men, had he?He had listened,then asked questions.Simple ones that brought forth equallysimple, powerful answers.“Don’t you believe in a mercifulGod?”
“What?Yes,but…”
“An infinite God,infinitely merciful.Come on, Ben.It’s one of the dearest beliefswe hold, the first things they taught us.”
Ben caught his breath.“I…Iremember.”
“Then how can that same Goddo as Aelfric teaches?How?”
Benedict didn’t reply.But hisrigidity eased, and after a moment he laid his brow to Cai’sshoulder.Fresh sobs shook him, but they sounded easier now, lessfraught, as if a dry riverbed inside him had suddenly flooded afterrain.
Fen gathered up the ox’s reins.Hisexpression was unfathomable.“I will leave you,” he said softly.“Iwill mend this beast’s harness and hitch her to theplough.”
Cai glanced up at him.“Can you dothat?”
“I can.Princes are farmersin my land too, just as they are in yours.”
Caius left Ben with the plough.The oxhad been harnessed to it and tethered, the rein repaired and onewayward ploughshare knocked back into place, but the field wasempty.Distractedly bidding Ben to mind his work and not think, Caiscanned the landscape.Fen was nowhere to be seen.Cai set off at arun.
On instinct he headed for thearmoury.Fen’s sword,Head-cleaving Bloodsuckeror whatever vile thing he’d named it,was still safe in its rack, and that was something, but…
But Eldra and the chariot were gone,and that was something else entirely.
Cai bolted out of the barn’s shadows.He was breathless from his dash down the hill, and now his heartwas trying to punch through his ribs with fear.Had he managed tounleash upon his brethren and the coastal villages a Viking raiderwith a chariot and warhorse at his command?And worse than the fearof that, sliding around in Cai’s guts like a hungry snake—betrayal,tiny and cold.What had he expected?The softening in amber eyes,the brief touch to his hair—what had Cai taken from that, to makehim think Fen would do anything other than rob him and run at hisfirst chance?
Hoofbeats again.Cai whipped round,expecting to be mown down, not by an ox this time but by his ownfather’s horse.There in the pasture that edged the sea, suddensunlight flashing off her trappings, Eldra was circling.She hadbeen expertly hitched to the chariot, and Fen was standing casuallyon the footboard, guiding her round in a wide arc.He saw Cai,transferred the reins to one hand and raised the other in greeting.“Come along, physician.I’ve just been warming her up foryou.”
Cai stumbled across the grass.He wasdreaming, surely.Fen trotted Eldra over to meet him and drew herto a halt at his side.“Come on.Jump up.”
“No.God almighty, Fen—youjump down.Quick, before somebody sees us.”
“Who?Thescarecrow?”
“Anyone, you idiot.I’ll bekilled for letting you do this.”Cai made to grab Eldra’s bridle,but Fen edged her deftly out of his reach.“Besides, I have duties.The infirmary, and…” He paused, listening, as a bell began toclang.The tower was still in ruins, but Eyulf had learned how toclimb to the top of it and ring his refectory bell to summon thebrethren to prayer.“It’s time for terce.”
“Oh, more God-bothering… Doyou think he likes being woken up nine times a day by yourimportunities?If they’re all in church, no one will see usgo.”
“Go where?I can’t justleave.I can’t—”
Fen held out his hand.It was wide andcapable, and Cai knew the heat that coursed beneath its pale skin.“Oh, I’ve no doubt that you’re needed here, even if you’ve startedto doubt it yourself.But you have to get away for now.Look atyou—hollows under your eyes, half the life drained out of you.Agallop on the sands will set you right.And unlike you, I reallyknow how to drive this thing.”
Cai let Fen take his hand.He used itfor balance only, not wanting to pull at his patient’s healingwound, and he leapt up onto the board.He took his position at therail next to Fen.“This is madness.I’ll be defrocked.”
“Defrocked…” Fen grinnedand gave the reins a shake so that Eldra trotted forwards out ofthe paddock.“That would be a sight to see.Is that what happenswhen you disgrace yourself beyond forgiveness?”
“Among other things.Fen,you’d really better stop.”
“Once we’ve had a run.Didyou manage to console him—your friend with the ox?”
“Not much.”
“What ailed him?Why doeshe think himself a worm and a sinner?”
Cai adjusted his grip on the rail.Fenhad the chariot going at a steady pace, as if they had all the timein the world, covering the turf between the outer walls and thelong stretch of beach to the north.If this was madness, Caicouldn’t deny that it was sweet to him—the sense of movement, therush of the salt wind.Of leaving everything behind.“Aelfricpreached us a sermon last night.About hellfire.”
“Hellfire?Ah, not thatagain!”
Cai broke into laughter.He couldn’thelp himself—the fresh air, and Eldra’s lively shift from a trot toa canter, shook his spirit loose.“What?Last night was the first Iever heard of it.How does an infidel Viking raiderknow?”
