What do I do if she decides this is too much?
I don’t want to let her go. Ican’tlet her go.
But that’s not up to me, and after what I just did, I can’t see any reason why she’d want to stick around.
I may have been feeling better lately, but at the end of the day, I’m still no one. Even falling in love with someone can’t change that.
“Don’t beat yourself up, Cam,” Sid says, trying to calm me down.
When we left the hotel, we managed to rent a couple of cars before we started off toward the address Ty found for us. The girls jumped in one while the guys piled in the other. I’m grateful that Sidney is sitting beside me in the back so someone can try to talk me down.
“Pretty sure I deserve to beat myself up,” I huff. “I just fucked up Zhuri’s career.”
“What about yours?”
“Fuck mine,” I bite. “I don’t fucking matter. Z’s the only one I’m concerned about. She doesn’t deserve to be in this mess.”
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” Sid asks gently.
“Yeah, which means I fucked up the only good thing in my life by not being able to keep my goddamn mouth shut.” I pinch my fingers over the bridge of my nose. “I’ve been so damn happy lately, but it can’t last. Nothing lasts. Zhuri is going to think this is too much. Why would she want to be with a man who told her fucking ex their secret because he was jealous hearing about them being together a decade ago?”
Bodhi glances over at me from where he sits on the other side of Sidney, apparently eavesdropping. “I don’t think you have to worry about her leaving, Cam.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Sidney gives me a small smile. “Because she’s not going anywhere. Icy is driving their car, so Bet’s been texting me. Zhuri’s worried right now, but mainly about how you’re handling this. She cares about you a lot, Cameron. Her biggest concern right now is that you’re okay.”
I throw my head back, trying to blink away the tears pricking the corners of my eyes. “I don’t fucking deserve her.”
Bodhi reaches across and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Yes, you do. Don’t let Ivor make you think you don’t deserve to be happy.”
Nico slaps his hand off the steering wheel. “Fuck Ivor.”
“What they said,” Wes states. “Don’t push Zhuri away because you think you can’t overcome this. You can. There’s a real chance that this doesn’t get past Jack at all.”
I let out a deep, unsteady breath. “I hope so.”
The rest of the ride is silent, but I feel a little lighter than before thanks to the guys.
I’m not sure I deserve them either.
Before long, we pull up to a long driveway and follow it down. We all park right outside the gate and walk over to the intercom. I grab Zhuri and wrap my arms around her before, though.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Z.”
She returns my hug, pulling me in even tighter. “I know you are, Cameron. I know you didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
“I didn’t,” I shake my head before resting my forehead against hers. “Just… please don’t give up on me.”
Zhuri places her hand on my cheek and gives me a light kiss. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise, baby. We’ll figure this out together.”
For the first time since breakfast, I smile. “I haven’t done anything in my life to deserve someone as incredible as you.”
“Yes, you have. You’re a good man. I wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t think you deserved me.”
Isla grabs our attention. “Alright, lovebirds. As cute as this little display is, we’re here for a reason.”
“Right,” Zhuri says, walking over to the intercom and pressing the button.
