I take the chair next to her as she picks up her glass of tea. “I considered wine, but it’s only 11 a.m., so tea seemed like the more mature option.”
“Did we mature and no one told me?”
She smiles, but it’s strained. “How are you? Dad said to give you space, but it’s killing me.”
Now it’s my turn to smile. My sweet friend, always there for me. “I’m . . .”Not fine. I can’t say fine.I promised myself I’d stop lying to people. “I’m grieving. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I’m making some changes in my life. I have a few things to talk to you about and tell you.”
She perks up at this, curling in a ball to turn sideways in her chair and face me.
“I quit my job.”Okay, I’m ripping off the Band-Aid, apparently.
“What?” she squeaks.
I fill her in on how I’ve been feeling over the last few months and with Gran’s death.
“That’s understandable. What . . .” She hesitates like she’s afraid to ask. “What will you do for work?”
“I have no idea what I’ll do, but I’ll figure it out. I’ve kept a lot from you, and I’m sorry for that. My pride wouldn’t let me accept help or even confide in anyone. It will take selling Gran’s house to pay off my debt. But once that’s paid, my cost of living is next to nothing. Perks of owning a home worth nothing.” I shrug, attempting to lighten the mood with a joke.
“Your house is not worth nothing,” she scolds. “It needs love, but it’s your home, and you have time to work on it now. I’m sorry you’ve been alone in all this. I wish you would’ve told me.”
My stomach turns knowing I’ve made her feel this way. “I should’ve, and I’m sorry I didn’t. I’m sorry for a lot of things, Kacey. I heard you the other day when you said you don’t feel like my best friend. I want you to know that you are, but I understand why you feel that way.”
She swallows and nods but lets me keep going.
“In some small way, I’ve always felt like a failure. Like, I always have to prove I’m better than what I came from andcapable of doing something good—better—with my life. But I shouldn’t have let that affect our friendship. You’ve been there for me since day one, you never judged where I came from, but somewhere along the way, I think I forgot that. I didn’t only hide my money problems from you, I hid—” I pause and look away from her, out to the ranch. The ranch hands are riding in from the pastures. Mares graze near the barn as their foals run, playing around them.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“I want to. I need to. It’s just a lot, and I’ve fucked up so badly.” I force myself to meet her eyes. “For years, my father has harassed me and extorted money from me—thousands, Kacey. It wasn’t Gran’s bills, it washim.”
“What?! Jessie, why—” She starts to freak. I probably should’ve started with ‘he’s in jail now’.
“It’s okay. He was arrested two days ago.”
Her jaw drops. “Tea was the wrong choice. Jessie, what the hell is going on?”
“I’m finally taking charge of my life, that’s what’s going on. Oddly enough, it took a visit from my mother—of all people—and losing Gran to wake me up. But I’m up and I’m fighting like hell to take control of my life.”
I go on to tell her everything. The harassment, threats, my mother, I leave nothing out. I even tell her about the horrible things I said to Trey to get him to leave.
I spill my guts to her before apologizing again. “I’m so sorry I kept all this from you. I just . . . I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t involve you with Daryl. He was too dangerous. I truly thought dealing with it by myself was my only option.”
Kacey has been fighting tears for about ten minutes. She gives my hand a squeeze, just like Gran used to. “You don’t need to apologize. I hate that you’ve gone through this alone, but you didit. You stood up to Daryl, and you’re taking control of your life. I’m so proud of you.”
“That I am.” We clink our near-empty tea glasses. “So, it’s past noon . . .”
Kacey stands. “I agree. Mature people drink as long as it’s past noon.” She disappears into the house, then returns with a bottle of wine and two glasses.
“So . . .” She circles the wine in her glass. “Now that you’re a woman in control, what about Trey?”
I knew this question was coming. I’ve been thinking about it nonstop since they slapped cuffs on Daryl. “I’m not sure. I miss him. And even though we can argue about nothing, we were good together. I’ve never felt so . . . comfortable, like I could be myself—not with anyone else. I fell so hard, so fast. It still scares the shit out of me. Oddly, we’re kind of perfect together.”
Kacey laughs. “You’re like the same person. I knew from the minute I met Trey you two would be great together if you both ever got your shit together enough to realize it. So? Go get him back.”
She says it like it’s simple. “The things I said to him . . . Kacey, I hurt him. Worse, Iintentionallyhurt him. He shouldn’t forgive me. I don’t deserve it.”
She hums. “Reverse it.”
