How much would he give to touch her just one more time? Almost anything. His Shadows went insane, desperate to reach for her, to hold her, to dance with her Shadows once more. It was all he could do to keep them spinning gently around him, locked in close where she didn’t have to see them. Where they wouldn’t swarm her.
Her Shadows, on the other hand, were still. Impervious to his agitation. Or, perhaps, entirely disinterested.
Could that happen? Could Shadows realize they’d made a mistake and reject the person they’d recognized as theirs? It seemed possible. Likely even. A parent could reject their own child. Why not a lover reject their former flame? If he was being honest, it’s what he’d always expected. Before he met Riley, anyway. Then he’d started to hope.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice rough with the misery of his realization that she could walk away, unaffected, in a way that he never could. But even as he said it, he knew it sounded wrong. A reminder of his earlier harsh words. “I mean, I thought you were sleeping. I wouldn’t have come in here if I realized.” Damn. That was worse.
She folded her arms over her chest, and he had to fight to keep his eyes on hers and not to glance down at her perfect, creamy cleavage, or her soft arms that used to hold him with such strength. Suddenly he was deeply conscious of how naked he was with just one small towel wrapped around his waist. His skin prickled with his awareness of how close they were… and how little fabric stood between them.
“I couldn’t sleep,” Riley muttered. “I came out here for some air.”
Fuck. And there was the guilt. She hadn’t had problems sleeping before. He knew her insomnia was his fault, but he couldn’t stop himself from digging at the wound. “Why couldn’t you sleep?”
Riley shrugged as if she wasn’t going to answer. Her shirt slipped, revealing the tantalizing line of her shoulder, and he almost got lost in that forbidden glimpse. But then she spoke, and his attention flew back to her face. “I was thinking about what you said earlier.”
She looked at him, eyes locked on his, but she didn’t continue, didn’t give him anything more—and he found himself stepping even closer. Close enough to hear what she thought, if she chose to share it, even if she whispered. Close enough that he could easily reach her.
He tightened his hold on his Shadows, reminding himself that she was not his to touch.
Neither of them spoke, and the silence between them drew out uncomfortably. He should say something. Anything. The old James would have had a hundred charming, witty, flirtatious remarks. But now, he had nothing.
And then Riley’s eyes flicked down to his chest, just for a moment, before darting away. And his body responded.
For the first time since everything crashed down around him, he felt something other than grief, remorse, or rage. He felt need. Hot and potent.
He took that one final step closer. And now he could feel her heat. His Shadows fought to reach her, and a few escaped. Not many. Just a few tendrils brushing slowly over her. Her breathing picked up. Loud in the silent darkness.
Her Shadows didn’t want him anymore. She hated him now, with good cause. But her body still knew his.
Riley didn’t move—she didn’t even blink—but he could see the rise and fall of her chest, even in the dim light. Her Shadows were more alive now, spinning, whirling, but always held close. Never reaching out to touch his.
“Riley.” He whispered her name, reaching out so slowly that it felt as if the whole world turned in the time it took to touch her.
She didn’t answer, but she leaned forward ever so slightly into his touch. Even that tiny movement was enough to suck the air from his lungs and send a frisson of sparkling sensation over his skin.
He slid his fingers into her hair. He couldn’t have her Shadows, but he could have this. God, he loved it. Rich auburn waves. He twisted his hand slowly, wrapping the locks tightly over his fist. His movement was measured, unhurried as he waited for her to send him away. But she never did.
His breath evened out, and his Shadows grew calm and focused even as hers seemed to fray. He made one last twist, and she gasped, loud and breathless in the stillness.
Weeks of free-falling, weeks of flailing out of control, and here, now, for the first time, his feet touched the ground. For the first time in so long, he was exactly where he wanted to be. “Can I kiss you, Riley?”
She didn’t say yes. But she didn’t say no either. He leaned down until his lips just grazed her ear. “Say no, Riley. Say it and I’ll go.”
She still didn’t answer. Instead, she turned her face to his. And then her lips were right there. One stray tendril of jade-threaded Shadow stroked against his face. Her scent surrounded him, warm and sweet and earthy, like honeysuckle on a summer’s evening. And he was home again. Found once more.
He closed his mouth over hers and she opened immediately. Her tongue slid against his, tasting, touching, offering more. Another jade-hued Shadow flickered into his awareness, gliding over his cheek, down his throat, and onto his bare chest. He shuddered, groaning as he deepened the kiss. His free hand slid up her back, holding her against him, holding her as if he had the right to pin her there and consume her. He wanted to be part of her, inside her, utterly immersed in her.
His cock throbbed where it pressed into her belly, a sweet, torturous ache, and he forgot all the reasons that he couldn’t touch her. All he could think of was how desperately he’d missed her, wanted her, needed her.
He sent a Shadow sliding up the inside of her leg, keeping it well away from where she would have to see it—see what had become of him—as he sought the heat at her center. She shuddered, her legs shifting, giving him room.
He dragged his lips down her throat. “God. Yes, Riley,” he murmured against her skin. “You are so beautiful. So perfect. Baby, I—”
But then she pushed him away. Stumbling back. Her Shadows twisted into an angry swarm of half-formed spinning shields. “No!”
He fell back, hands raised, his Shadows lurching off her as if they’d been burned. Guilt and shame flooded him.
Riley tugged her shirt down with an unsteady hand, and he took another agonizing step away. He shouldn’t have touched her. Shouldn’t have kissed her. Shouldn’t have forgotten.
