“They are,” Kay agreed, “but their divorce was terrible. They used James like a pawn, playing him off against each other for months. And then, when it came down to it, they both refused to have him—and he knew all about it. The courts were going to make his mother take custody, but she got on a plane the day before the final judgment and couldn’t be reached. She went to America and never came back. That was when Gordon offered to take him in.”
“And you have to know how bad Gordon was for James,” Emma added. “My father would have broken him down in every way.”
“We know now,” Kay agreed. She rubbed her eyes tiredly with her free hand, and Riley wondered just how long it had been since Kay last got a full night’s sleep. Too long, obviously. But Kay was already straightening her spine and focusing. “James swore he would never have more than a night or two with anyone,” Kay continued. “Oh, he made a joke of it, told everyone he was playing and having fun, but I always had my doubts. And now I’m certain that was a lie. I don’t think he wanted to risk loving someone who might not love him back. And he never did risk it… until you.”
“He didn’t….” Riley cleared her throat. “He never said anything like that to me.”
They’d always had so much fun together, but they’d never really spoken about James’s family. Why didn’t they do that? How had she not known how bad his childhood was? How had she never realized just how many scars James bore?
Because she’d been too wrapped up in the adventure, a tiny voice whispered inside her. It had seemed exciting to her. But for him, maybe it was something else. Maybe he’d been afraid.
She shook away the thought. James was a Guardian. Strong and powerful and taught from a very young age to face his fears. If he’d wanted to, he could have told her the truth.
Maybe not the truth about his role in Oracle and helping Gordon’s Council. She could see how he’d been sworn to secrecy by people he’d been trained from birth to obey. And she could understand that, even as he worked to help Gordon become Archdderwydd, some small part of him had known it was dangerous and tried to protect her and his triad by keeping them out of it.
But afterward, when his blood was clear and his body was healing—when he had recovered from the blood Shadows Gordon had tricked and manipulated him into using, and he was fully in his right mind—thenhe had known that she was waiting for him. He had known she would be worried, and then terrified, and then frantic.
He had chosen to leave her in that agony. He had cold-bloodedly decided not to contact her, not to give her any kind of peace. He didn’t reach out to her for help, for reassurance, or even to say goodbye until that awful moment outside Elizabeth’s house. And that was how she knew they were over.Thatwas how she knew Kay was wrong about her and James.
It didn’t matter that she was still so desperately attracted to him. It didn’t matter that she had to ruthlessly pin her Shadows down to stop them from reaching for him. It didn’t even matter that she missed him with a constant ache. They had never had something deep. Or permanent. Or enough. And now they never would.
ChapterSix
Gordon steepled his fingers,tapping them against his lips as he fixed his eyes on each of the pathetic members of his inept Council in turn.
“Let me understand,” he said quietly into the frozen stillness of the meeting room on the ground floor of his Belgrave mansion. “James was here. Right outside the door. And you just stood there while his soon-to-be-Shadow-stripped triad grabbed him and carried him away.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Not one of you did anything. You fuckingwatched. Is that right?”
The Councilors shifted uncomfortably, none of them quite meeting his eyes.
“Is. That. Right?” he repeated even more softly, each word dropping into the silence like poison.
No one answered.
Well, fine. If they were going to behave like belligerent teenagers, then he would treat them accordingly. Gordon turned to the sallow-skinned Healer who was constantly bothering him about wanting more authority. “Maeve—” She flinched as he focused his gaze on her. “—wouldyoucare to explain?”
“It wasn’t me!” Her tone was high-pitched enough to frighten dogs. “I was... away. I had… things to do. If I’d been there, I would have James in my… inourcustody by now.”
She scowled at her colleagues as if it was their fault she couldn’t get a sentence out. Or perhaps to prove exactly whose side she was on. Not theirs, clearly.
Gordon sighed pointedly. Everyone wanted to be the leader until they were expected to actually bloody lead. “Do you think that excuses you?” he asked. “I gave you one simple task.”
“I… no. I mean… I wasn’t there! The others should have—”
“Enough.” He cut her off with a sharp glare. God. How could she even think she was worthy of sharing his power? “Maybe you could be vaguely useful and tell me whowashere?”
“Finn and Brayden,” Maeve answered immediately, seeming not to notice the murderous scowls her two colleagues turned on her. “And Diedre.”
“I arrived after it was too late,” Diedre hissed. “They’d already let James go.”
Gordon fought not to roll his eyes. Thank fuck they didn’t start bickering about the definition of “too late” even though he could see they wanted to. He lowered his voice, injecting his tone with all the contempt he felt for the fools he was surrounded by. “I don’t want to hear about the things you didn’t do. Finn, Brayden, tell me what youdiddo.”
Brayden crossed his arms with a grimace. “It was Finn. He opened the door.”
Everyone turned to look at Finn. The Healer cleared his throat, twice, before finally seeming to accept that he was on his own and started explaining. “The wards were triggered when James touched the doorstep. I was the only one who tried to get there quickly,” Finn said pointedly as if it would somehow help him. “I could immediately tell that there was something wrong with James. He looked awful. Confused, sweating, lashing out. His Shadows were almost nonexistent. It was obvious that his blood was of no use—”
“And you made this decision all by yourself?” Gordon pronounced each word with dangerous clarity.
“No… I….” Finn cleared his throat again, looking helplessly around the table. “We—Brayden and I—called the others, but they didn’t come down. We were going to get James inside, but then I saw how unwell he was. I wasn’t sure if it was a trap. We needed to take a moment to assess. What were the risks? What if it was something to do with the blood Shadows? What if he could infect us? And there were Guardians—powerful Guardians—in the street. They attacked us. Even while they carried him away. I’m a Healer, I don’t get into fights. It was safer not—”
