Zach gave him a worried look. “Damn, man. You look terrible.”
God. Another person he was going to have to tell. Ethan leaned against the wall, his head pounding, and repeated the story. By the end, Zach’s face was rigid, his jaw clenched.
“Fuck.” Zach spoke through gritted teeth, his hands curled into fists at his sides and swirling with wraith-like Shadows. “Kay never plays games. She would never cheat, it’s just not her. If you genuinely cared for her, you’d know that.”
Ethan wrapped his hand around the back of his neck. “I know I fucked up. I know I hurt her. And if I were you, I would want to beat the shit out of me too. Honestly, I would stand here and take it… but not while she’s missing.”
Not while the suspicion of where she might be was burning through him. “Please, just help me. I’ll do anything to keep her safe, even if she never wants to see me again.”
Zach looked him up and down, eyes still narrowed. “I’ll help you find her. We’ll make sure she’s safe. And then we’ll see.”
Ethan nodded gratefully; it was enough. “Thank you.” And then, because he had to ask, he added, “Zach, the book you left her to get when you were on Oxford Street…. Why did you leave her alone that night?”
“I went to get a book for David. It was the biggest bloody waste of time. They were out of stock, and by the time I got back, Kay had already been in the fight. God. My heart nearly stopped when I saw her in that ambulance. But then, when I finally got hold of a copy, David said he never wanted it in the first place.”
Ethan’s gut churned. “Why did you think David wanted it?”
Zach answered slowly, “James texted me and asked me to get it—”
The churning in Ethan’s gut stopped. Everything stopped. Because his whole body was frozen in horror.
“We have to find her.” Ethan’s voice rasped over the words. “Right now.”
He looked at Zach, wondering what the hell they were going to do. “Do you… ah, Shadow Weavers… is there some way—some Shadow way—to find her?”
Zach stilled, the furrow down his forehead deepening.
“It’s okay, Zach, I know.”
“You know what, exactly?” Zach asked slowly.
“I know about Shadows, Circles, triads, all of that. I’m guessing that’s what you’re not saying?”
Zach folded his arms over his chest, his serious face growing even more stern. “Did Kay say something? Do you know how much trouble she could get into?”
“I know. Look, would this help?” He put a hand on each of Zach’s arms and closed his eyes. Zach stiffened uncertainly.
“Just stand still while I try and figure this out.”
“That’s reassuring,” Zach muttered.
Ethan ignored him and took a deep breath as he imagined his Shadows coalescing, flowing out of his body and into Zach’s, traveling through skin, muscles, bones, looking for any kind of ailment.
He didn’t find one, but he did sense a deep feeling of weariness, a bleak sadness buried inside the other man. He tried to wrap that sense of isolation in warmth, in reassurance, while boosting energy toward the draining tiredness. But he had no idea if any of that made any difference. Nothing seemed to be changing. There were no bruises to heal. No wounds to close. He had no idea if he was making any difference at all.
Fuck. They had to get to Kay, and he was failing.
He let go and stepped back to wipe his hands down his face. “I’m sorry, it’s easier when I can see the problem. I thought maybe I could, I don’t know—”
Zach stared at him. “No… I felt it.” Zach blinked. “I see it now, you’re a Healer. But how are you still outside the Order?”
“Kay thinks it’s because I was adopted and brought up by people who don’t know anything about any of this.”
“But then how did you learn to do that? It shouldn't be possible. Not by yourself.”
“I don’t know. Kay realized when I looked after her in the ambulance, and then she showed me a few things. We were going to talk about it with Elizabeth this weekend….” God. He’d fucked up in so many ways.
“Okay,” Zach replied quietly. Thankfully not pushing him. “But there isn’t any Shadow way to track someone. Not like that.”
