“He’s flying my flag?”
Nim nodded, frowning heavily.
Lucilla tucked in her shirt and sat on a trunk to pull on her boots while the rest of what Nim had said sank in. “A couple of hours? How long have I been asleep?”
Nim shrugged lightly. “Just over a day.”
“Over a day!” Her voice sounded suspiciously like a shriek. How was that even possible? How could she have lost a whole day?
“You were exhausted. Mathos said we should let you sleep, and he was right.” She handed Lucilla a full waterskin. “Here.”
Lucilla took several long swallows, glad not only of the water but also for the time to formulate her next question. “Where is Mathos?”
There. She was quite proud of that. She hadn’t called him Matt. She hadn’t asked why he wasn’t with her, or why he would have left her, or why he’d sent Nim in his place. Even though, as her head cleared, she was growing increasingly desperate to know.
“He’s on deck with the Hawks. We’ve been working on a plan.”
“What kind of plan?”
“Well, that’s the good news—we’re close to Kaerlud now, almost at the estuary. If Dornar’s going to board us, he’ll do it on the open sea, where there are no witnesses. We plan to send you ashore with a small squad while the crew of theStarkeeps him busy here. The Nephilim have a temple with a hostel near the river mouth. They’ll have horses and clothes for you so that you can get to the palace as fast as possible.”
Lucilla let her booted foot fall with a thunk. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Doesn’t that put everyone left on the ship in danger?”
Nim gave her a slightly bloodthirsty grin. “Well, some. But honestly, many of the warriors on board saw how Dornar tried to manipulate Alanna, and they’ve been looking forward to spending some time explaining their views on honor.”
Lucilla pulled her hair into a tight braid. “And if Dornar boards theStarand arrests everyone? Or immediately decides to execute you all?”
Nim rolled her eyes. “You’re assuming we’re going to lose.”
Gods. How could she explain? She had total faith in the Hawks and their Nephilim allies. She’d slept better on theStarthan she ever had in her entire life, because she was with them. But she couldn’t just abandon them. Surely a captain went down with her ship. And a queen stood at the front of her army?
“It’s not that. I’m completely confident in theStarand the Hawks. But I couldn’t let you get hurt in my place; that would just be wrong. If you’re fighting for me, then I should be with you.”
Nim stepped forward and took hold of her hand, clasping it in a firm, capable grip, her eyes serious. “We don’t think it’ll come to that. But if it does, this is our choice. We all choose to support you, whether by coming with you or staying on board and distracting Dornar, because we know that it’s the right thing to do. We need you to live—no matter what happens to the ship, her crew, or the warriors fighting for you—to take that throne and own it. Because that is the right thing foryouto do, for everyone in the kingdom.”
Damn. Damn it all to hell.
Lucilla held in a groan. This was the beginning of a lifetime of making tough decisions. Decisions that could get people hurt. But now she knew that not making those decisions meant people got hurt anyway.
She had decided on the night she ran away that she was not the kind of woman that waited in her room for salvation. She was the woman who had walked down the stairs and through the door. And if there was anything the last few weeks had shown her, it was that she was tough. She could make difficult decisions and then act on them.
She could do this. She would do it. Lucilla raised her chin and stared at Nim, and Nim stared back.
They stayed like that for a few long seconds, and then Nim’s lips twitched. Lucilla could feel her own trying to force themselves up into a smile. To accept how ridiculous this all was. She was only a person. Just like everyone else. A snort escaped. Which only made Nim’s lips twitch more. And then they both laughed. A deep, freeing, full-bellied laugh.
Nim wiped her eyes with her free hand. “Gods, I hate making serious speeches.”
“Why? You were great. I’m thinking of making you my speechwriter for the future.”
“Please don’t do that to me. Or to anyone else.” Nim opened the door. “Come on, the sun will be rising soon. We have to go.”
They sped past the middle decks, teeming with men and women no longer wearing browns and grays, but gleaming in their white Nephilim armor, up to the main deck, to a hive of orderly activity. Warriors worked in the lantern light, climbing rigging, trimming sails, and belaying ropes.
It occurred to Lucilla that she had never seen a female Blue Guard—and yet here male and female Nephilim warriors worked together with impressively efficient coordination. Another thing she could change when she was queen.
A tall woman dressed in breeches and a neat white tunic stood at the helm, occasionally calling orders, keeping a close eye on the commotion around her. Eloa gave a small salute and waved them toward a longboat that was being lowered into the choppy black sea, then turned to Cassiel standing beside her. He gave a matching salute and a small bow as Lucilla saluted back and then dropped a curtsey, thanking them both as best she could.
She turned to see Val and Alanna standing at the ship’s rail, as well as Tristan, Tor, Jos, and Rafe, who were busy lowering a rowboat over the side. Watching them were the two Nephilim, Haniel and Ramiel, as well as a striking red-haired woman who was leaning over the rail clutching her belly.
