‘You good, Jay?’ Chloe asks.
‘Could you do me a favour and take Mr and Mrs um...Kevin’s parents up to the roof terrace whilst I grab some drinks?’ I say to her, hoping my eyes are conveying the desperate nature of the situation. ‘Keep them there,’ I mouth slowly, just to make sure she understands.
‘Yeah, of course. Everything okay?’
‘Yup, yup!’ I say, my mind already racing ahead. I need to get Lily. There is no point texting her, she won’t check her phone for hours. And, let’s face it, she has form for not responding to me immediately.
Meryl has taken to the stage and her special talent appears to be a striptease. This is most definitely not the act with which to break Jinx’s parents’ drag cherry.
‘It’s very noisy down here. If you follow Chloe –’ I gesture at her ‘– she’ll find you somewhere quieter to sit and I’ll be with you the minute I have your drinks.’
As I’m queuing at the bar I realise that once I get to the rooftop terrace I can ask Chloe to go and find Lily. As soon as I’m served I gallop up the stairs two at a time, whisky slopping over the sides of the glasses. I like and respect Chloe but she could say just about anything to Jinx's parents.
As I reach the door to the terrace, I see all the twinkly white lights and am reminded of Lily having her cawww moment. That had been the first time I saw any vulnerability in her and now I know that she has coffers full of it, just like the rest of us. I am about to turn the corner when I hear an ominous conversation.
‘I think you’ve got that bang on, Mrs Huang.’ Ah, that’s the surname, thank you, Chloe. I freeze as I hear her add, ‘They would be well sorted if they were together. They both told us that they don’t mix business with pleasure and that they’re working together. Actually, because of that Lily has offered me a job to help me through uni. I need to stay in Bristol for my family and she’s said I can run her social media, do some admin, manage her appointments and all that. She’s sound and we’ve always loved Jay.’
I didn’t know Lily had set this up for Chloe.
‘She’s a very impressive young woman, always has been,’ says Mrs Huang.
‘Right, and me and the girls have chatted and we think loads of people work together all the time. Look at Rochelle and Marvin, Rihanna and A$AP Rocky,’ Chloe says and then mischief sneaks into her tone. ‘I would tell Jay but you know, boundaries. That’s not my business.’
Then she winks straight at me. She knew I was here all along. It doesn’t stop her though. ‘Life’s too short, ain’t it? The two of them should be together.’
‘They should.’ Mrs Huang says.
‘Couldn’t agree more,’ her husband adds.
‘Hi, you lot, I’ve got your drinks here, sorry, spilled a bit. Thanks, Chloe, um...’ How to phrase this so as not to show the Huangs I need Lily now?
‘I’ll get back to my mates then, but I’m just going to the loo. Do you know where it is, Jay?’ There’s a glimmer in her eyes and it makes me wonder if she has been keeping her eye on me and Lily since she got here.
Jinx’s dad starts chuntering on about the bar’s architecture and I mouth ‘get Lily’ three times at Chloe whilst pointing in the direction of the loo. As she heads off, I use the break given by Mr Huang’s monologue to escape into my own thoughts.
The girls are right, I want to be with Lily. I really do. But I’ve made it clear enough. On The Downs she showed clearly how she is far from interested, but the way she greeted me when I arrived tonight, the way she’s been by my side all evening, did I give up too easily? Has she changed her mind? I’m so confused but know that if there is still a slim chance that I have a shot I have to get over my hurt, my pride, and leave the door open for her.
Cass thinks it’s a good idea, the girls think it’s a good idea, even Mr and Mrs Huang whom I hadn’t met before now think it’s a good idea. So now, tonight, is the last shot, tonight I have to hope and pray that Lily has begun to agree with them and finds the courage to let me know.
Chapter Forty-Three
Lily
‘What is it about my brother that is not good enough for you?’ Cass says and I don’t know what to do with myself. Is this what she thinks? That I’m some snotty cow that believes I am too good for Jay? It’s so ridiculous I could laugh but my heart is hammering in my chest, in fear not amusement. I need to make this right.
I lean forward from my chair and grab Cass’s hand and look her directly in the eyes.
‘There is nothing wrong with your brother. Nothing at all. You have it all wrong.’ She arches an eyebrow and I know I’m going to have to explain this properly to her. Make her see the truth of all that has been holding me back.
‘It’s because Iloveyour brother, I really do, and as a fully-fledged human, not some kind of sex toy...’
‘I heard that episode tonight, whilst I was packing up to come here. I’m glad you know there’s more to my brother than his, I don’t know... six inches?’
I smirk but need to carry on with what I have to say. ‘He is not the one who is flawed, it’s me. Your brother is an amazing man, completely different from any man I have met before, from any of the men I have spent time with before. From our very first meeting he wanted to get to knowme, even when he had seen me at what I thought was my very worst. But when he told me how he felt, well, we all carry stuff and he’s been forcing me to look at mine. And...’ I squeeze her hand tightly to reinforce how much this means.
‘And?’ She still has an eyebrow arched and she has a right to be pretty shitty with me. But I’m grateful she’s listening and I need to say this out loud for myself as well.
‘And I know that when I lashed out at him, I was scared...’
