‘Hi, I’m Lily.’
‘Oi. You two are meant to be on my side. Show a bit of loyalty,’ Kevin says and we both nod at him, step back and cross our arms to mirror his pose. I try not to think about how ridiculous the three of us must look.
‘I’m so pleased to meet you all. I am literally just helping Dan get some wood to help with the props for Jinx’s –’ he nods in Kevin’s direction ‘– Drag Factor entry. I saw you in Cardiff a couple of years ago and I thought you were crazy talented. I was quite jealous when Dan told me he was seeing...um –’ he stops and shoots a panicked look at Dan ‘– um...working together.’
‘Weareseeing each other and we’re very happy,’ Kevin says a lot less petulantly. It would appear that having Jack as a fan does a great deal to mollify him. That and the lack of a single butt plug in the open bag. ‘Was that the one where I sang “Rolling In the Deep” and was wearing my cerise catsuit? I lived and died in that catsuit for a while.’ Kevin removes his hands from his hips, which both Jay and I take as unspoken permission to stand like normal human beings again.
‘Yes, you were and you did. I will remember it for ever. I’m really looking forward to coming along to your regional finals. I can’t see that you won’t win.’
‘You were really just helping...’
‘Of course he was, you silly fool.’ Dan has dropped the bit of tree now and has come to Kevin’s side. ‘There’s no finer craftsman in Bristol, and he’s only just got back to the UK after doing some aid work overseas and I couldn’t believe my luck. The timing was perfect. We were just trying to build a surprise for you on stage. You did say I was in charge of stagecraft. And that you needed me to work harder on making it unique.’
‘I did. And I suppose you do have a wedding ring on.’ Kevin says, directing his latter statement at Jack. ‘Presumably you’re not married to Dan.’
‘No.’ Jack smiles.
‘So we’re seeing each other and are very happy?’ Dan asks directly.
‘We are.’ As Kevin replies, there is a grin so big on Dan’s face that it takes up all the space. His beam is so bright they can undoubtably see it from the observatory.
‘Is that formal now? No more shilly-shallying, flippity-flopping about?’ He clasps Kevin by his forearms and stares into his eyes.
‘I have never been floppy near you,’ Kevin says and leans in for a kiss.
‘Eewwwwwwww’ is the chorus from Jay, Jack and myself. Soon turning into an ‘ahhhh’.
‘Shall we make a move?’ Jay whispers in my ear and I turn and smile. That is a very good idea indeed.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Lily
‘So what do you think they’re planning on doing with their stolen wood?’ Jay asks as we wander across The Downs. I hear him but I am not really paying attention. I am finding it hard not to think about the last time we were here. I can see the track that leads to our spot, where we sat and looked out over at the gorge. The place I had told Jay the worst of the bullying I had suffered before I became new, streamlined Lily.
‘Lily. Are you okay?’ he asks gently.
I smile, nod that I’m fine and answer him. ‘Um... I have no idea but I’m sure it will look amazing. Now tell me more about the video you sent.’
‘Aren’t they great?’ His face becomes animated and his eyes shine. ‘I’ve known most of them for years and I was up there helping Cass with the painting...’
‘That explains the mess on your face. Cassie?’
‘Yup,’ he grins and I wonder if he has told her we slept together. The thing with my anonymous hookups is that we have no friends in common, if we do we don’t reveal it. Things are separate, tidy. I like Jay. I want to carry on being his friend. I do. And Cassie has verve and spunk and flair. But I do not like the thought of sitting with her at Chrysalis knowing she knows I’ve had sex with her brother, that they may have discussed it. And if he’s helping her paint – I distinctly remember painting being part of his punishment for breaking his vow – then he has already mentioned it.
Cassie probably won’t be fussed, vow or not, but it’s the idea of people talking about me behind their hands and weighing me up, sniggering. I know it goes back to school. But it still makes me feel uncomfortable.
‘Shall we grab an ice-cream?’ He interrupts my thoughts as he nods at a little wooden truck selling all sorts of posh flavours.
An ice-cream is a precursor. Once we have that, the next thing is to chat.
I feel the pressure in my chest, tightening like an evil puppeteer has placed iron bands around me and is now pulling them as hard as he can.
I know Jay and I need to talk. Kevin was right; I need to apologise and ensure the Youth Club project is something we can still work on together. But I am scared of what he may say. I'm scared of anything that upsets the equilibrium of my life, and this man has been doing that ever since we met.
I breathe out slowly, trying to calm myself, remind myself that I am in control.
‘Ice-cream?’ Jay asks again.
