‘Oh my God, let me guess, it was magical.’
‘Why are you taking the piss? I didn’t say that. That’s not something I say.’
‘True, but I had a feeling. So you’ve had a one-night stand? Tick. You’ve also fallen in love, haven’t you? Not so tick.’
‘Not so tick? What’s that even... You know what, I can take that. That’s better than a giant cross or big black mark.’
‘Ah well, the only reason you haven’t got that just yet is because I like Lily. Ireallylike Lily and I would have been furious if you had broken the rules and got all cow-eyed over some other girl but with Lily I can only approve. So much so, that I will help you convince her that she needs you romantically in her life. Women know women.’ She waggles her eyebrows.
‘Hmmm, I don’t think anyone is going to manage to do that. Can’t even get her to pick up her phone right now. But listen to this, Cass – when I’m with Lily I’m not sitting there making plans for the perfect future, working out how we can get a house here, have kids at such and such a point and then maybe move to a bigger house. I’m not doing any of that because honestly, for the first time ever in my life, it doesn’t feel important.’
‘Oh yes. Oh yes. Okay, so what do you think about when you’re with Lily?’
‘I don’t know if I think, to be honest...’
‘Hahahaha.’
‘Oh stop it. I just feel...’
‘Hahahahaha.’
‘Nope, listen.’
‘Okay, I will.’ She rocks forward from the leant-back position she had taken as she laughed.
‘What I’m trying to say is when I’m with Lily I don’t think, I just feel. I just feel that everything’s right, that that is where I am meant to be, that we work together. You know. I don’t want to be some hideous cliché but she gets me, I get her. We have all these differences and none of that matters, we fit. We fit right. And honestly, I don’t know that I have ever, ever felt that before, that sense of belonging, you know?’ Cass smiles at me, but a silent smile and I guess that’s her way of saying she understands.
‘So yep, right now, I am a little bit lost. It’s clear she doesn’t want to speak to me so I think it’s unlikely we’re ever going to be a thing. If all I can be is her friend, then I’ll take that. I even... I told her about Dad, you know.’
Cass lays her hand on my arm and I know with that sentence alone I have managed to convey the strength of my feelings towards Lily.
‘So yes, Lily and I slept together...’ I am looking out of the window aware that Olive’s enforced exercises seem to be winding down so I had better get a move on. I can sense that Cass is moving slightly to the side of me but I am caught in a flash of memory of that Saturday night when Lily and I slept together and she lay her head on me and gently moved her lips to mine; and the feeling I had, that feeling that the world had stopped and nothing else had mattered.
‘...but I can’t see it going any further. Although I should warn you I’m going to do what Mo says and give it one last go. And I do feel like shit for not quite keeping my vow but am very grateful you’ve called exceptional circumstances and have let me off having a very, very black mark.’
I turn my head again and refocus on Cass, who is suddenly very close to my face, hands behind her back and a look of glee on her face that is alarming.
Then quick as a flash her arms shoot out and before I can move she has painted a cross all across my face and is laughing like a hyena.
‘Not a black mark but a very definite sandy-coloured one,’ she shrieks as Olive and her worn-out cast re-enter the hall.
I sit alongside Cass finding it hard to believe that has just happened. Not the giant paint mark slashed across my face, that was inevitable, but the fact she is not fussed in the slightest about me breaking my word. Instead, she seems pretty happy that Lily and I have had a moment. Several moments, a fair few hours and possibly the most romantic night of my life. She didn’t even dissuade me from trying to talk to Lily about maybe moving things forward. In fact, she is humming ‘Love Is in the Air’ and keeps throwing me cheeky grins as we return to our painting.
Olive is back in the hall, congratulating her troops on their physical prowess and telling them that now they have warmed their bodies up they need to do the same for their voices but are allowed a sip or two of water each first. A queue forms near the tap and there is an awful lot of good-natured huffing and puffing as I brace myself for Joseph tunes.
Cass’s phone rings and it is a new ringtone, ‘Love The Way You Lie’. Cass’s ringtones are always Rihanna. Queen RiRi is her absolute idol, was her crush from the age of ten and her life coach. I wonder about the change of ringtone from ‘Only Girl’ and watch as she grimaces when she hears the tune. I’ve never seen her grimace at RiRi before.
‘Hello, love,’ she says brightly into the mouthpiece. ‘Aha... uhuh.... Yep, all day...why? I’ve got so much to do.’
Olive starts shouting at her little gang, making them do a warm-up exercise that sounds like they’re murdering frogs.
‘Yup, who? Jay’s helping me out. And the cast are here rehearsing. What? Of course it is. ...right.’ She turns and snaps a photo of me on her phone and then taps at the screen.
‘What the?’ I mouth.
She shakes her head and carries on speaking to the mouthpiece. ‘Yes....yes...I promise. I said I would. Yes, I will. Of course I will. I gave you my word, okay, then. Okay. Love you too.’ She hangs up the call and looks at me and pastes a fake smile on her face and rolls her eyes.
‘Honestly, can’t live with them, can’t live without them.’ I move towards her to give her a cuddle but she shrugs me off. ‘Come on, let’s get this done. I need to be home in a bit.’
