The sexual chemistry between us, as Chloe observed in under five minutes, crackles like an electric storm. Every time I see Lily it does feel like the sky is lighting up and changing colour with forks of lightning flitting between the two of us at all times. I have, I admit, thought myself in love a fair few times in my life. Cassie is right when she says I fall in love easily and quickly. But because I know I tend to fall in love with potential rather than reality I never actually say it, I watch and wait and see how things develop. But I have never experienced an immediate bond like this.
I correct myself, that feels misleading. Obviously in no way am Iin lovewith Lily Galbraith, especially now I know that she is The Love Doctor and has read and answered my deepest fear on her podcast. But it feels wrong not telling her that the guy who was worried about his sister was me, as if now it looms as a secret between us.
I also feel kind of trapped, like my hand has been forced. There was safety in saying those things to a stranger, without the fear of mine and Cassie’s identities being revealed. But to let Lily know now that I was the one that wrote in to her, then met her in the sauna and have now invited her here feels a bit stalkery. There’s an awful lot of coincidences there. What if she thinks I have evil intentions and all this is an elaborate ruse?
I lift my head and see the girls roaring with laughter and I know that the germ of a plan I had, a mere seed – before I knew who Lily was – could well grow into something really positive, really effective for these girls, making my concerns pale into insignificance, I wonder if she would be interested in helping us out a little bit here, beyond today.
In a short space of time this evening she has cut through with these girls – and they are not young women that let their walls down easily. I’m not sure where I’ll find the money in a seriously overstretched budget but I will find a way. But first I have to ask Lily if she is prepared to get involved. And admit that I am the one who messaged her about his sister. I don’t want to, I really don’t want to, but I have a feeling that the thing about Lily and me is that we shouldn’t be keeping secrets.
Chapter Fifteen
Lily
Jay has suggested we grab a drink to talk about the project, and at one of my old haunts so I am excited. I haven’t been to Mama K’s for years. I love it here. It has a perfect chilled-out vibe, reggae playing in the background if there isn’t live music, accompanied by good Caribbean food and a relaxed clientele who are happy just being in their favourite bar. But I haven't been here for ten years or so and I wonder if it’s still as I remember, my heart leaping with anticipation.
As I walk through the door with Jay I see that despite a refresh on the decor everything feels exactly the same. It’s a bit like coming home and with a happy grin I approach the bar.
This afternoon has been invigorating. These girls aren’t easy but they are sparky and engaging and I respect them. I have felt more alive spending time with them today than in my work for a while.
On the walk over, Jay briefly outlined his plans to build up a support system that focuses on sexual health and healthy relationships, the plan being to appoint ambassadors amongst the girls themselves who then go out and spread the message, provide peer-to-peer support and ensure that trusted community spaces, like the youth centre I have just visited, become hubs of learning and support.
And I am intrigued to know what he wants from me with regard to this. I would love to be involved and if there is anything I can do to help, to make just one of these girls have the courage to say no to something that makes them uncomfortable, to walk away from something they know isn’t right for them, then that is my life’s dream right there. That’s why I have studied for years, built up a profile. That’s why I do the podcast, in the hope of reaching out to people who can’t access me in other ways. And the fact that these girls said they listen to my podcast makes me so proud I feel like bursting. For a second there, professional Lily was all flustered and couldn’t find any words.
‘Yo, Jay. How you doing?’ The barman greets him with a convoluted handshake and pulls him into his chest.
‘Marcus,’ Jay responds and the two men have a clinch over the bar before Marcus turns to look at me. He looks me up and down and I arch an eyebrow at him.
A slow smile spreads over Marcus’s face as he leans across the counter and picks up his phone.
‘Ma’am...’ He turns to me and holds up the phone.
‘Leave her alone!’ Jay says, friendly but with a little bit of steel to his voice. A warning.
‘Uhhuh,’ I say, a little wary but mildly amused.
‘I just need to snap a pic—’
‘Woah, woah.’ Jay lifts his hand in front of my face. ‘No, no, no. Stop. You can tell my sister this is a business meeting,business. If I were secretly dating, would I bring my date here, huh? Where Cass runs the most efficient underground network of information since the French resistance? Nope. Wouldn’t happen.’
Marcus lowers his phone.
‘It really is just work,’ I add. ‘If it helps, you can tell her I did ask him out for a drink a couple of weeks ago but he turned me down.’
‘He turned you down?’
‘Right?’ I say in mock surprise and hope he gets that I'm joking.
‘Wow. Jay mate, I didn’t think you had it in you. But girl, I tell you, you single then I may be able to help you out.’
I scrunch my face and shake my head in a no-please-don't way and Marcus guffaws.
‘No photo then?’
‘Nope.’
‘No date?’
‘Thank you for the flattering offer but no date. I reallyamonly here to talk business.’ I say and Marcus grins a can't-blame-a-person-for-trying grin and takes our order.
