Becca shook her head and chuckled. “It’s not your fault everyone loves you. Dr. Rasmussen altered one of Alex’s surgical notes when he forgot to log out of a computer while rushing off to a code blue. That’s the same chart note Nick showed you to convince you that Alex was lying to you.”
I still couldn’t process what I was hearing. “Alex didn’t write that?”
“No! Alex showed up the next week expecting to do surgery on that patient, and they weren’t there, so he started looking into it and figured out why.”
I sat there with a stunned look on my face. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.The whole thing had been a setup. “Holy crap—that patient could have died.”
Becca nodded solemnly. “Thankfully, Alex had him rescheduled before he started looking into the record problem.”
“His first priority was the patient.”
Becca’s hand covered mine. “Does that make you mad?”
“No.” The answer was out before I had to think about it. “I’d have done the same thing.” Patient first, angry girlfriend second. Ex-girlfriend. I dropped my face in my hands as all the horrible things I’d said to Alex came rushing back. I moaned. “What have I done?”
“I bet he’d take an apology.” Becca gently nudged me.
“I don’t think he’ll ever want to talk to me again.” Thankfully, my stomach was empty, or I’d probably end up losing my breakfast. My whole frame shook. Sweet Alex, who had trouble putting himself out there and who’d trusted me, was probably sorry he’d ever set foot in this hospital. “I betrayed his trust when I believed Nick over him.”
“He’s hurt,” Becca answered honestly. “But he fought hard for the truth—for you.”
I didn’t even know what to say to him. Of course, an apology was in there somewhere, but how could I repair the damage I’d done?
I watched for him all day, but we didn’t cross paths. The longer it took to talk to him, the fewer words ran through my head. By the time my shift ended, all I had left wasI’m so sorry,which felt woefully inadequate.
Rather than prolong the agony, as soon as my shift was over, I found his car in the parking lot and camped out. I spotted him before he saw me, and my heart melted. I’d stayed away from him on purpose for days, and they’d been the hardest days of my life. I’d missed him. Missed him so much that it was like losing a piece of my soul.
He looked as rough as I did. His head was down and his shoulders hunched forward. His normally manicured hair was disheveled, and the scruff in his wonderful jaw was more than a three-o’clock shadow. The worse part was the evident broken nose with purple bruising under both eyes.
“Oh, Alex,” slipped out before I even knew I said it. My heart—which had been silenced for days—decided to do the talking.
Alex’s head cautiously rose, almost like he didn’t believe that I was standing there. Our eyes connected and we simply took one another in, drinking deeply as if we’d been through a desert. Neither of us really knew what to say.
“Alex, I’m so sorry.” I tried to take a step towards him, but he cautiously stepped back.
“I guess you heard what really happened?”
“Yes, and I am sorry I didn’t believe you. Dr. Rasmussen got in my head and twisted everything around,” I said, trying to figure out a way to explain my deepest fears.
“I’m glad you know the truth,” was all he offered back.
My body ached to be in his arms, in that spot that was my own, created and saved for me. “Will you forgive me for those horrible things I said?”
“I forgave you the minute you spoke them.” Alex lifted a shoulder. “You were just looking at the facts.”
I tried to take another step towards him, but he retreated again, my heart splintering with each inch he placed between us.
“I forgive you,” he said, “but I don’t really trust you right now. I opened my heart to you, more than anyone else … ever. And at the first sign of trouble, you abandoned me. It just makes me feel like I’m better off alone, you know?”
“I can see why you feel that way.” Tears silently built, stinging and hot and full of pain. I understood him. I got it. I knew I’d done the most damaging thing I could ever do to him.
A tear fell, darkening my scrub top.
His eyes followed it, and his exterior softened. “I need some time. But I do appreciate the apology. It was important to me that you knew the truth.” He looked away, giving me a view of his profile.
I didn’t trust my voice, so I just nodded my head.
“I’ll see you later.” He waved as walked past me to his car and drove away.
