As we rounded a corner, we came to another of my favorite displays, a 4,000-year-old royal boat that belonged to the Pharaoh Senwosret.
“Wow,” Alex said as the boat came into view. “It’s incredible that that boat even exists. I mean, that wood should have decayed long ago.”
“Yes, it’s a miracle that it is still around.”
I saw Alex’s face turn from wonderment to conflict. “You used that word again.”
“What?” I asked in surprise, my mind racing through the limited conversations we had had, trying to remember anything that would have upset him.
“Miracle. How do you know what to label a miracle and what’s just chance?”
I would have been offended by his question if it weren’t so earnest. He wasn’t making fun of me or looking down on my faith—he truly wanted to know. Understanding that added some weight to my shoulders. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing or trivialize his question. “If time had had its way, it would have been long gone. The fact that it’s here, defying all logic, makes it a miracle in my mind.”
As he turned his back, he mumbled, “Or just good craftsmanship and preservation.”
I worried that my answer wasn’t significant enough. He’d been looking for something bigger, a miracle measuring stick that he could hold on to and use himself, and I’d fallen short in giving it to him.
The jovial mood that Alex had been in initially had soured and didn’t improve as we finished Egypt. I did my best to point out some of the more exciting pieces, feeling more like a tour guide than a friend and especially not like a date.
“What would you like to see next?” I asked, trying to sound upbeat. I wasn’t sure why the wordmiraclebothered him so much. It wasn’t like I was preaching in any way. I tried not to take it personally, but there was a part of me that whispered caution. I saw miracles every week, some big, some small. Some could only be seen by someone watching for the hand of God. Was it possible that Alex didn’t see them? And if so, was it because he’d never been taught to look? My dad hadn’t only shown me a love of learning; he’d taught me to love Jesus too. It was easy for me, but I knew it wasn’t like that for everyone.
Alex was trying to push whatever was bothering him out of his mind. He turned to me and put on a brave smile. “It was two lions that brought us here. I’d like to see those next, please.”
“All right,” I answered, “on to Africa.”
We started up the stairs that would take us to the next floor. Hopefully, by the time we got there, he’d work through whatever was bothering him. I wasn’t going to push him.I wasn’t going to drag him out of his head. If he wanted to come out and be with me, I’d happily spend time with him. If not, this might be our last outing together.
The thought made me sad and my feet hard to lift to the next step. They weighed heavily with the idea of saying goodbye to Alex as a possibility in my life. Maybe my hopes were too high and I’d set myself up for a fall.
Dear Lord, if I’m supposed to explore this friendship, I need a sign of some sort. Because I’m scared to put myself out there and end up with the wrong man.
And there were lots of things about Alex that said he was the wrong guy for me.
I pressed on, ready to see if God had a hand in this or if I was on the wrong path.
Chapter Twelve
Alex
Iwatched Emma walk in front of me, leading the way to the Africa exhibit.She was dressed nicer than I’d seen her at work. The look definitely worked on her, but I’d bet she was just as gorgeous in a baseball hat and jeans at the ball field.
The frustration I’d felt in Dylan’s office when I’d griped about Emma saying I could be a miracle for my patients continued to build in my chest.
Why did one little comment bring on such a strong physical reaction?
It was that darn word. The way Emma threwit’s a miracleout there so casually, as if there was no other explanation for what had happened.
I knew exactly why I didn’t believe in miracles. That moment had been etched in my mind since I was ten years old.
The strained silence between us existed because Emma didn’t know any of that. It wasn’t her fault that the word was a huge trigger for me.I glanced around at the marbled stairs, the cream walls, and the people moving around us. This wasn’t the place to get into my past.
Okay, Alex, pull it together, I thought.You’re freaking out your only friend in this entire city.I squared my shoulders and followed Emma up the stairs, intent on leaving miracles and my issues with them back in Egypt.
We crossed a hallway lined with white dinosaur skeletons to the African exhibit. Emma navigated her way easily to where two lions were mounted to appear as if they were prowling the Sahara.
“They look so lifelike,” I said, trying to break the silence. It was strange, after watching the movie based on these two killers, to look them in the eye. They were stunning, huge in comparison to a man. “Though I have to admit, I was expecting them to look more like Val Kilmer’s Hollywood lions.”The lions in the movie had huge manes and bloodthirsty eyes meant to scare the viewer and cause nightmares in children.
Emma bobbed her head. “That’s what most people expect when they come to see this exhibit, but the lions of Tsavo were maneless.”
