“Aye,” he turned away. The word rolled off his tongue, seeming far longer than the single syllable needed.
“I hope he thinks I am good enough for ye,” she said, arching her eyebrows, giving him a beseeching look. Finlay looked directly at her and she felt the intensity of his penetrating gaze. Wild locks of hair fell around her face and she longed for him to push them back again. To feel his fingers against her skin brought a wave of blistering heat that was impossible to quell.
“Ye are good enough for any man, nae matter who they are,” he whispered. His words danced in the air and her heart felt lighter.
“Tell me about yer past, Finlay. I would love tae know more about yer clan and yer family, and the land that ye hail from. I want tae know what brings pride tae the Ross name,” she hoped that by asking him about his family she would flatter him. Instead, she noticed his eyes tense as they darted away. Once again, he had this air of mystery about him. If it was an act to make himself more interesting then it was working, but she had no reason to disbelieve him. He had seemed genuinely emotional when talking about his old family horse, and she knew people couldn’t feign things like that.
“Ye can ask my Da all about that when ye meet him. He loves talking about the family history. I’d always tried tae focus on the present moment. People spend tae much time looking at the past and the future that they end up missing what is right in front of them. I dinnae want tae make that mistake. I want tae make the most of this moment because it’s the only time that is ever gaeing tae exist. After all, when else are we gaeing tae be sitting here in this field as we are right now?” he said. His words had a lyrical quality to them and it was almost as though he was casting a spell that enchanted her fully.
Anne felt herself being drawn towards him. She had long since forgotten about the food. She hungered for something else. She met his eyes and found them soulful and deep. This was the moment, she thought, the moment when she could prove to him that she was not like other women, the moment when she could offer him a glimpse of what life with her would be like, a moment when she could clamp chains around his heart and push her plan forward.
She allowed her gaze to drop from his eyes to his mouth for just a moment, before allowing them to rise again. Then, she moved even closer. Their fingers touched on the tartan cape, while their breath drifted together in a warm haze. In the world of nobility, there were rules against kisses like this, but she had never been one for the rules. She pushed her body forward and pressed her lips to his. It was not a kiss that was forced, nor was the desire she felt anything but genuine. Finally, she understood what she had seen in the eyes of so many men; unbridled desire. The kiss burned with passion and a breathless moan surged between her lips. She melted into his embrace as his arms stretched around her. Never had she realized how blissful this could be, and she began to understand why men were so eager to risk everything for just a glimpse of this ardent heat.
It was as though a key had been twisted and something was unlocked deep within her soul, something that had remained hidden until now. Her insides turned to liquid and she realized she wanted more than his mere touch. She wanted everything. Heat raced through her and she tilted her shoulder, offering her chest to him. His hand fell down and brushed against her breast, sending a wave of tingles shuddering through her. A long, low moan escaped his lips and it sent her wild. She could feel something twisting inside her, like a storm that would not abate, and she was ready to offer him everything she possessed because he had something she needed.
But then the heat of the moment was broken as he pulled away. Sweat glistened upon his brow and his chest heaved with heavy pants. He blinked frantically as he tried to compose himself.
“I… we should nae dae this. It’s nae proper. I… I would nae want tae ruin yer future, even though I like ye immensely,” he said.
Anne wore a wounded look. “What happened tae enjoying the present?” she asked, reaching for him once again. He pulled away again.
“I’m thinking of naething else, but I’m also thinking about what ye will think of me when the emotions hae settled. I cannae dae that tae ye. This world can be cruel,” he said in a reluctant tone. Anne’s head was still fizzing with emotions and she wasn’t entirely sure how to react. She simply had to lean back and try to ignore the scorching heat on her lips and the yearning of her heart.
9
Anne’s heart was beating fiercely in her chest, so fiercely that she believed it was going to leap right out of her throat. Her chest was tight and her breaths were deep. Heat prickled on her skin and the world seemed brighter as the ardent force of his kiss lingered on her lips. Never before had she been so drawn to a man, so willing to give him everything she had. It had been an overt move to practically throw herself upon him. She had wanted to show him that she wasn’t like the other girls. She believed that if she made him besotted with her then he would not have eyes for any of the other women, and he would even be able to look past her shortcomings when the truth eventually came out. But by then it would be too late, she would already be the future Lady Ross, her heart wedded to this man.
Yes, during her time with Finlay, she had decided to go ahead with her plan for marriage. It was best for her long-term well-being. She could spend time with Finlay without it feeling like a chore. She did not have to feign laughter with him or flatter him with empty compliments. Everything she said to him she meant, and she did not want her time with him to end. There were far better women for him, of that she was sure, and if she dared lethim slip through her fingers she was certain she would never find a more suitable man elsewhere in the world. She would be left with a long line of sleazy, desperate men, and while she had gotten the better of them so far, it only took one angry man to beat her and bruise her, and then perhaps she might not be so safe.
But as Finlay pushed her away she stared at him with disbelief. Never before had any man reacted this way to her. She had always been the one to refuse their advances, making a play of her innocence and virtue, teasing them with it, making them feel as though they had to earn it even when they had no chance of possessing it for themselves. It often seemed to her that men wanted things to ruin, but not Finlay. There was a look of shame on his face, and this only endeared him to her more. He was a true gentleman and a master of self-control. She could not imagine any other man denying himself the pleasure that was being offered to him. It convinced her that he truly had her best interests at heart. The other men were always eager with their hands and their lips, whispering words in her ear to convince her that she would enjoy it if she just gave it a chance, that nobody would know, that it wasn’t really all that important in the end. She always rebuffed their advances, coyly saying that she was shy and needed time to warm up to them. There was always enough time for them to get drunk and sleepy, and she never had to diminish herself by offering up her virtue as though it was a thing to be traded.
And now Finlay was sitting there amid the heat simmering in the air, the tension drawing tightly between them. Anne’s mind was a whirling haze and there was a fluttering sensation in her stomach. She was also afraid though. The way Finlay talked… there was a sense of doom about it.
“Finlay… what are yer intentions with me? Ye will introduce me tae yer Da, aye?” Anne asked, the tremor in her voice genuine. Finlay looked away for a moment, pursing his lips as his gaze swept across the ground. “Ye are nae already betrothed, are ye?” she pressed when he didn’t answer. It would explain his reticence, after all, if there was another woman involved. A man like him would not be eager to break an oath he had made and she could imagine that he might have gotten a little carried away when the mood among this clan was so buoyant. But he frowned and glared at her.
“There is nae other woman.” His expression softened and he sighed. “But I hae nae been truly honest with ye, Anne, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry if I gave ye the impression that this could turn intae something serious.”
“But why cannae it?”
“Because of my Da.”
“Why would yer Da nae want ye tae marry? I thought all Lairds wanted their sons tae marry?” Anne asked aloud, wondering if she had misunderstood the way nobles lived all this time.
Finlay’s lips formed a thin line. “It’s nae as simple as that. My Da is an honorable man, some would say tae honorable and, well, I hae fallen out of favor with him because of a mistake I made in the past. It takes a lot for him tae forgive people, and I need tae win his favor before I get married. I cannae promise a future tae anyone until I am certain of my own.”
He spoke softly and slowly. It was clear that his father’s opinion meant a lot to him, but Anne realized this was going to be more challenging than she first thought.
“What did ye dae?” she asked softly.
“It dinnae matter. All that matters is that I need tae win his favor back. I need tae make up for what I did in the past.” Anne got the sense that he wasn’t going to share any more details. Whatever had happened had scarred him and was difficult for him to talk about. She longed to know what it was, and she thought that perhaps she could help him with it. She considered the matter for the moment. It was perhaps more sensible to cut her losses with Finlay and find another target to seduce, especially if she was aiming to marry them. Finlay seemed to have other things on his mind and there was no guarantee that she would get what she wanted. If she spent the entire gathering with him, only for him to leave without proposing to her then she would have wasted this opportunity. There was no way she wanted to return to Tarbert village empty-handed, especially after spending so much of her money getting here. And yet she could not deny the connection she had made with Finlay. It felt wrong to build a rapport with another man when there was so much yet to discover about this one, especially because she had confidence in her talents to build trust with him. He may not have had marriage on his mind now, but if she could help him find favor with his father then he would be even more indebted to her and a marriage proposal would be a sure thing. If she was the one to reunite them and mend whatever differences had arisen, well, she would establish herself as a member of the family without a second thought!
And on a deeper level than this, she wanted to help Finlay regain his father’s trust because she didn’t want anyone to be on bad terms with their father while they still had a chance to be with them.
“I’m sure that whatever ye did, ye can make amends for it. If yer Da is like ye then he is wise, and he will know that love shouldtrump folly all the time. Is that why ye are here, at the gathering? Are ye hoping tae find a way tae make it up for him here?”
Finlay nodded. “I thought perhaps I might be able tae, although I’m nae sure if I will find an opportunity. Things are hard with family. I want to be the man he always wanted me tae be, but I keep feeling as though I’m falling short. He always hae high expectations for me, and I hae only proven tae be a disappointment tae him.”
“I’m sure that’s nae the case. Even if it is, there is plenty of time for ye tae prove tae him that ye can be a good Laird. I’m sure ye dinnae hae anything tae worry about, Finlay,” she said, trying to avoid pressing him for details as she did not want to make him uncomfortable. He had already opened up to her and trusted her with all of these things, and now she just needed to keep this trust and ensure that he would never turn away from her.
