Wait, was he really considering being a husband? When had that transpired?
“Pah,” Kaiden exclaimed. “Aye, ye are needed here, but above all else, I would want ye tae be happy, Erik. Look at me. There was a time I was ready tae join the gods and forget mah da or mah clan needed me. If it hadn’t been for Ferra, I would not be sitting here with ye right now.” His grin faded. “And when the time came again, it was the last thing I wanted tae happen. I didnae want tae leave those that I cared for, leave the lass that had given me my life back. Wot is it for me tae be a laird if I dinnae have them around me?”
Kaiden’s words rang true to Erik. He had been on his own for so long that a spot of caring that he had found with Finley had been more like a lifeline that he hadn’t wished to give up. Kaiden had started it, taking him in and making him more than just a warrior but part of his family, and now Finley had done the same.
And he had just walked away from her.
Sweat trickled down his spine; Erik knew it wasn’t from the heat of the fire. “I cannae give up mah warrior status.”
“Did she ask ye tae do so?” Kaiden countered. “By gods, man, ye must talk tae her!”
Erik cut him a look. “Are ye communicating well with Ferra then?”
“Of course,” Kaiden replied, looking pained. “Though ’tis difficult tae do so when she’s as swollen as she is. I cannae picture her birthing our bairn, mah heir. It tears me apart inside tae know that she’s going tae be in pain, and there is nothing I can do tae stop it.” He then scoffed, though his jaw was clenched so tightly that Erik thought it would shatter. “She tells me not tae worry, that her body is made for birthing bairns, but I’ve seen her body. I dinnae know how this is going tae happen, and she live through it.”
That was Kaiden’s worst nightmare; Erik knew that. They had shared many a discussion about the lady of the keep since they had wed, and Kaiden was terrified of losing his wife, his lady love.
So, wasn’t Erik terrified of the same? The thought hit him square in the chest, and he suddenly couldn’t breathe. He had been so focused on coming home, back to the clan that he loved, that he hadn’t realized that he couldn’t walk up to her chamber any longer or out to the warrior circle and find her warming up for a spar.
He wouldn’t see her face across the table this evening, watch as she carefully smiled at him like he was the most important person in the room.
When he climbed the stairs this evening, there would be no one waiting for him, and the thought was dismal indeed.
What had he done? What had he given up for this...this solitary existence?
“Ah, I see,” Kaiden said quietly. “Ye’re in love with the lass.”
“I’m not,” Erik started but realized that he was telling Kaiden a lie. He was in love with Finley and likely had been for some time. He missed her like the very air he breathed. The thought of living without her terrified him. “I am in love with her.”
The laird chuckled. “Then wot the bloody hell are ye doing here?”
That was a good question. It mattered not if he had his position in this clan or that he had his closest friends at his side. Not having Finley with him would not get him through the days, months, or the rest of his life. He couldn’t just stand by and let his heart take the brutal beating again.
He needed Finley. “I have tae go,” he said suddenly, draining the rest of his glass. If he left now, he could get back in two days, given the weather would hold.
He could apologize to her, beg her forgiveness. Put them both out of their misery of not having each other.
That is, if she would take him back.
“Mah lord?”
Both men turned to face the harried-looking servant at the doorway. “’Tis time,” she breathed.
Kaiden nearly bowled over the chair in an attempt to get to the door. “The bairn?” he rasped.
She nodded. “The lady wished for me tae tell ye that ’tis time and for ye not tae worry.”
“Ferra,” he groaned. “Not tae worry mah arse.”
“Go,” Erik stated, rising from his chair. He wouldn’t be leaving just yet, it seemed, not until the bairn was birthed and his closest friend made it through alive.
Not Ferra. She was going to be just fine. He was far more worried about Kaiden.
The birthing process took nearly a day. Erik watched as Kaiden prowled the hall outside his chamber, worry etched into his face as he listened to his wife scream out in pain, Erik having to restrain him every time he tried to enter the room. Ferra had taken one look at her husband’s state and kicked him out of the birthing room, which had only irritated Kaiden further.
Now there were empty mugs of ale everywhere, Erik doing his best to keep his friend’s attention elsewhere.
When the servants had brought out the bloodied sheets, he never had thought he would see such a look on Kaiden’s face. This was what it meant to be in love, to care for someone so greatly that one would lay down their life to ensure their safety.
