19
Erik slowed his horse as the village came into view below him, drawing in a deep breath. He was home. He had made it to the McGregor estate once more. It was a sight unlike any he had seen in the past. The keep rose in the background, and from his vantage point on the hill, he could see his warriors walking the wall, hear the calls of those in the village as they went about their day. He could make out the huts of those he knew by name and the warrior sparring circle that was busied with warriors for the early morning time.
It was home, yet he didn’t feel as excited as he normally did when he came to this point in his journey. For two days he had lingered in the wood between the two clans, thinking about Finley and their last interaction between them. They couldn’t have each other, yet in his heart, he felt like he had just left the most important thing in his life behind.
He had left Finley behind.
Bloody hell, he missed her fiercely. She haunted his dreams, and he could have sworn he heard her laughter yesterday when he had been forced to take shelter from a sudden storm. She haunted him.
He hated the way that they had parted ways. She had asked him to stay, and his damned pride had forced him to tell her no, that he needed to come back here.
But now that he was here, he really didn’t wish to be. He wanted to be back on McPherson land, watching as her eyes lit up right before he kissed her. Erik knew he had broken her heart, but his was in tatters too because of her. She had made him see that he had been missing out on something precious by hiding it away, keeping it from being hurt, and now that it was, he wanted to turn the horse around and go back to her if nothing more than to apologize for his behavior.
She likely would run him through with her sword the moment she saw him, and he wouldn’t blame her for it.
Erik nudged his horse down the path to the keep, forcing all thoughts of Finley aside. He was home. That was all that mattered now. Neither of them could be together, nor could he control the fact that they both had separate paths to take.
She wouldn’t be content with being a warrior’s wife, and he couldn’t leave his clan for her.
It was too difficult.
He was greeted at the stables by an exuberant stable lad, welcoming him home, and by the time Erik reached the keep, word was already spreading like wildfire that he had returned.
So, it was no surprise that Kaiden met him halfway, grabbing him up in an embrace. “Ye’re back!”
“I am,” Erik replied, keeping the rising emotion out of his voice. “And I hope I’m here tae stay.”
“Aye!” Kaiden stated, pulling back. “I take it the McPherson clan is well?”
“Aye,” Erik said. “But there are events ye need tae hear aboot.”
Kaiden arched a brow. “Well then, come tae mah study, and we will discuss over some fine whiskey.”
The men made their way to the study and settled themselves in the worn chairs near the fireplace, each with a glass of whiskey in their hands.
“How is Ferra?” Erik asked after he had taken his first sip.
Kaiden grinned. “She’s fine. The babe, it won’t be long now, and I cannae wait tae see it.”
An image of Finley rounded with pregnancy crossed Erik’s mind; he gripped his glass tightly as a flood of emotions flowed through him. That would be another Scot’s doing, not his. She would be having bairns by her husband, a man who would trace every inch of her body like Erik itched to do so, giving her pleasure that he had started.
Bloody hell.
“Ye are pale,” Kaiden remarked after a moment. “Tell me wot has happened.”
So, Erik did, telling Kaiden, his closest friend and laird, about the McIves and about Isabel, leaving out some of the parts he had shared with Finley. He didn’t want his laird’s pity, having more than enough of that for a lifetime.
“And this Finley,” Kaiden finally said, arching a brow. “She’s tae be the second-in-command?”
“Aye,” Erik grumbled, staring into the fire.
“And she saved your worthless hide why?”
“I dinnae know.”
Kaiden chuckled. “Aye, ye may not want tae admit it, but she saved yer life because she cares for ye, and I suspect ye care for her as well.”
Erik loosened a breath. “It matters not. I am needed here, and she is needed there.” He wasn’t going to be a husband or a lover to a woman he couldn’t hold in his bed every night and know that she would be there when he rose.
