Megan gently touched her arm. "Maybe we should order some water?” she suggested. “Or coffee?"
"Coffee is for mornings and weak people," Nadine declared, waving away the suggestion. Her silver bangle bracelets jangled with the movement, a discordant accompaniment to the band's guitar solo. "I'm having fun. When's the last time I had fun? I schedule it for other people. I organize it. I coordinate it. But I never get tohaveit.” She reached for a remaining shrimp on the table, missed, and tried again with exaggerated concentration.
After successfully securing her target, she pointed it at Jess like a tiny golden scepter. "You know what I was doing last year when you called me about planning this wedding?" she asked, not waiting for a response. "Arranging Scott's quarterly tax receipts while he was at a 'client dinner.' On a Saturday night." She popped the shrimp into her mouth, chewed thoughtfully then turned to Sloane. “In another life, I used to attend fashion week. Second row. Milan. Paris. Did you know that?"
"I did not,” Sloane replied, her instinct for drawing out people, evident in her carefully casual tone. “Tell me more.”
"Assistant style editor for Glamorous," Nadine confirmed, straightening momentarily before melting back into her slouch.
"That's so cool," Megan said, her eyes widening. "I had no idea you were involved in fashion."
"Oh honey, I wasn't just involved. I was ascending.” Nadine's voice took on a wistful quality. "Had designers sending samples to my apartment in Boston. Got invited to private showings. Had pieces slated for the September issue." She swirled her drink, watching the ice cubes spin.
"So what happened?" Sloane probed.
"What happened?" Nadine repeated with a brittle laugh. "I got pregnant is what happened. So Scott and I made a 'mutual decision' that I would 'pause' my career and move back home to raise the twins." The air quotes she attempted were sloppy but emphatic. “Twelve years later, I'm still on pause.” She drained her glass and reached for the pitcher, pouring another into the container with surprising accuracy given her state.
"You're an amazing mom," Jess offered gently, but her eyes filled with concern. “The boys are wonderful."
"They are," Nadine agreed with genuine warmth that briefly cut through her cynical haze. "And I love them more than fashion week and bylines and sample sizes. I do." She nodded emphatically, as if trying to convince herself as much as the others. "But sometimes I look at my closet - all those practical pastels and sensible shoes - and I want to set fire to it."
Megan reached across the table, placing a gentle hand on Nadine's arm. "You could go back, you know. The fashion world still exists."
Nadine's laugh held no humor. "Oh please. I'm practically geriatric by industry standards. Social media is the way forward. My old contacts are dead. That life is over." She shook her head, then grimaced as the movement must have caused the room to spin. "Besides, my husband relies on me to manage the home front while he builds his medical practice, and bangs his young assistant."
32
The statement landedlike a stone dropped into still water.
“What?" Jess breathed. “Are you saying …?”
"Am I saying that Scott is cheating on me with Kimberly, twenty-six, who does CrossFit and brings him protein smoothies?" Nadine's voice remained conversational despite the devastating content. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. For about eighteen months now. That I know about, at least.”
The other three looked at one another, evidently uncertain what to say, as Nadine attempted to spear another shrimp and missed. "The worst part? I'm not even jealous. Just... tired." Her voice cracked slightly on the last word, the first real break in her drunken bravado.
Jess felt a knot form in her stomach as she watched her friend’s raw pain come through the alcohol-induced candor. The meticulous planner, the one who orchestrated everyone else's happiness with military precision, was quietly drowning in her own disappointment.
She put a hand on her arm. "Have you confronted him?"
"What would be the point?" Nadine shrugged, the movement causing her to list slightly to one side. "To hear him deny it? Towatch him lie to my face? To force a choice he clearly doesn't want to make?" She shook her head again, more carefully this time. "Besides, what are my options Jess? Divorce him and do what? Go out on my own with two almost teenagers and try to rebuild a career that evaporated long before Instagram existed?"
"You could at least talk to him," Jess encouraged gently. "Clear the air."
"Talking is overrated," Nadine declared, reaching for a lobster roll and succeeding on the third attempt. She pointed it at Jess with dramatic emphasis. "Just make sure you know what you’re doing. Marriage isn’t at all what they sell you in bridal magazines. One day you're surrounded by couture, the next you're scrubbing grape juice out of soccer cleats while your husband 'works late' again."
Jess felt the weight of Nadine's words, uncomfortably aware of Sloane's ever-observant gaze tracking her response.
"Not all marriages end up that way," she offered weakly.
"Maybe not," Nadine conceded, her posture slumping further as the energy of her rant began to fade. "Maybe you and Julian will be different. Maybe he'll still look at you the way Logan just did when you’re nearing forty, and haven't slept through the night in a decade because one kid has nightmares and the other has travel soccer at dawn.”
As Jess tried to conceal the blush that had automatically risen at the mention of Logan, Nadine leaned forward, suddenly serious despite her slurred speech. "Just make sure, Jess,” she said, poking the table with her index finger for emphasis. “Absolutely sure that whatever you give up - for marriage, forhim- make sure it's a choice of your own making and not one you’re just sleepwalking into."
As if on cue, the band shifted to a slower number then, the melancholy notes of a ballad perfectly underscoring themoment. Around them, couples moved closer together on the dance floor, swaying in practiced synchronicity.
“But now I think," Nadine announced then, placing both palms flat on the table, "that I need to use the ladies' room." With deliberate concentration, she pushed herself up from her chair, wobbled precariously for a moment, then took a determined step that immediately went awry. Her ankle twisted, sending her lurching sideways into a neighboring table.
Jess jumped up to steady her, but someone else got there first. Logan materialized again beside the table, his hand catching Nadine’s elbow with precise timing that prevented a complete collapse.
