When we finally pull apart, Daddy looks at me with a faint smile.
“Now,” he says lightly, “we will need some practical understanding of what this looks like.”
I laugh through my tears. “I knew that was coming.”
Mama pats my hand. “We may ask questions. But we are not here to shame you.”
The fear I’ve carried for about who I love dissolves into something softer.
Relief.
It really felt amazing to know that my illness has never been able to claim the one thing it tried hardest to exhaust.
My ability to love.
And to be loved back.
My parents headed out. They had some errands to run before heading over to the church. I decided to text my brother.
By the time I get home, my body feels like it’s been wrung out. I’m not in pain. I’m just tired. Exhaustion had settled behind my eyes as it hums through my bones.
I kick off my shoes at the door and drop my bag on the bench. I sink into the couch with a long exhale. The apartment is peaceful. My mind is filled with slight chaos.
I pull out my phone.
There’s one more person I need to talk to.
DJ. Before Ajaih came along it was just me and DJ. My shadow. My ride or die. Our parents never had to say, “Take your brother with you.” Because it was already a given that whatever fun and trouble I was trying to get into DJ was going to.
When I would land in the hospital due to my flares, DJ would cry when he couldn't stay with me and protest until the hospital agreed. David Barré Jr. was my heart, and I was so proud when he decided to join the Air Force. When he told me that he wouldn't go if I needed him to stay. I almost told him to stay but that would’ve been selfish. Now he was stationed in Italy, and I appreciated the fuck out of it because he was always sending me beautiful Italian leather goods.
I stare at his name for a second before texting.
Me: You alive and still pretending to be productive Dick Neck?
It takes less than ten seconds.
DJ: First of all Bare Bones, I’m a busy ass nigga in these Italian streets.
DJ: Second of all, what do you want, Lean Bean? You missed me that bad?
I smile automatically.
Me: Actually—I do loose neck.
DJ: I’m let you make it pole dance Barbie.
I laugh loud at that one because DJ was the only person I trusted to beside Amiyah when I started dancing at Provocateur and when I met Zaria.
Me: You win this round .
DJ: Don’t I always .
I roll my eyes, even though he can’t see me.
DJ: And stop rolling your eyes before they get stuck.
I giggle because he literally knows me like the back of his hand.
