Gone.Shane was gone. Her Shane.
Why him? Why not her?Shewas the one who really deserved to die in that crash – not him. He wouldn’t harm a fly. All that time they had spent arguing over the wedding, all the time they had spent arguing over stupid inconsequential things, all the time she had spent resenting his family – Karen would have given anything in the world to have that time back. She would give anything just for someone to wave a magic wand and take it all back, take the nightmare away.
Why?Whywould someone let this happen?
Was God punishing her because she hadn’t been to Mass? Was He punishing her because she had been so determined not to get married in His church? Or was it simply because she was a selfish bitch who didn’t want to share Shane with anyone else? She had made no secret of her bitterness towards his family. Was this her punishment for trying to keep him all to herself?
Karen couldn’t find any answers. All she knew was that she would never again feel his arms around her, never wake up beside him in bed or feel his kisses on her lips. They would never again laugh together, never share another moment.
They would never be able to do all the things they’d planned after the wedding like visiting Las Vegas or New York like Shane always wanted, or Rome and Paris, like she did.
There would be no wedding, no new life together, no nothing.
Nothing.
Shane was gone.
With growing concern,Jenny watched the devastated figure slumped in the armchair in front of the TV.
Karen had barely uttered a word since the authorities left the house, nor engaged with the steady arrival of sympathisers as the evening went on.
A stricken Aidan was sitting in the kitchen with Gerry, still in shock. They were all in shock, but Jenny was becoming frightened by how withdrawn Karen was right then. She just hoped that the Quinn family would stay away for the moment, and maybe give her some time by herself to grieve.
Jenny had to take the phone away from her earlier, hearing Nellie’s sobbing and ranting on the other end. She knew it was a grieving mother’s shocked reaction talking, but the last thing her friend needed was recrimination.
Karen had said nothing since; she’d just taken to the armchair – Shane’s armchair – and wrapped one of his discarded sweaters around her. Offers of coffee, tea and invitations to talk had all been rejected with a slow shake of the head.
Jenny had never felt so helpless in her entire life. How could she possibly even imagine what her friend must be feeling? The magnitude of it all was so completely overwhelming that Karen’s way of coping was to shut down and pretend that it wasn’t happening, that it wasn’t real.
Now Karen stood up from her chair. “I’m going to bed,” she mumbled, heading towards the stairs.
“Do you want me to … ?” Jenny’s words trailed off as Mike put a hand on her arm.
“Leave her, Jen. She needs time on her own.”
She felt her eyes quicken with fresh tears. “I don’t know what to say to her, I don’t know what to do. How can I help?”
“You can’t,” he said simply. “Just leave her be, let her grieve in peace.”
“I still can’t believe it. I mean, they were getting married next month. How could this happen? It’s not fair.”
“It’s never fair,” Mike said, sighing as he took her hand in his. “All you can do now is be there for her as a friend, same as always.”
“My heart is breaking for her though – and for Aidan. Imagine being called to an accident like that. Shane was his best friend ...”
Aidan had insisted on accompanying his senior fire officer and the garda to the house to break the news of Shane’s demise. While his own heart was breaking, he was adamant he didn’t want anyone else to do it. While protocol demanded that a senior officer or member of the gardai should inform family members, rules were bent given the circumstances.
“I know it was tough on him, but at least Karen had someone she knew with her,” Mike pointed out. “Wouldn’t it have been far worse if they’d just turned up and asked her to identify him?”
Jenny was distraught at the very notion. “This is such a nightmare. How can she possibly ever get over this?”
“It won’t be easy, and she’ll need people around her. What about her parents? You said before that they lived abroad.”
“Tenerife, yes. I wonder has anyone told them yet?”
As far as Jenny was aware, the only other people Karen had spoken to were the Quinns.
Aidan had in turn contacted the others once he’d broken the news. Jenny resolved to inform Karen’s folks first thing as they would no doubt need to make arrangements to come home for the funeral.
