“Doesn’t sound like Shane to be so inconsiderate of your feelings. Have you two been arguing a lot lately?”
Karen hung her head. “There’s more. He keepspushing me to set a date. Like I told you, I have no intention of getting married so that the Quinns can start annoying me about having kids. Nellie is determined to get a grandchild out of me.” She laughed bitterly. “Can you believe it? In this day and age? So I’ve told Shane that we’ll get married when we’re good and ready, but certainly not to suit the bloody Quinn’s timeline.”
“Karen, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure, what?”
“You keep talking about what they want, and what you’re determined you don’t want. Have you asked Shane how he feels? You keep saying, ‘Nellie Quinn says this and she thinks that’. Has Shane ever explicitly said that he expects you to start mothering a brood once you two get married?”
“No, but – ”
“You can’t think straight, so you’re conflating the issues. I can’t imagine that he’d expect that. For one thing, you could hardly afford the drop in salary with a new mortgage.” Jenny looked her straight in the eye. “And I’ll be willing to bet that you’ve never even discussed this.”
“But I have,” Karen answered indignantly, “I’ve told him there’s no way I’m giving up my job and everything I’ve worked for to stay at home changing dirty nappies and watching Oprah.”
“Would you listen to yourself?” Jenny groaned, exasperated. “All about how you won’t do this, and you won’t give up that. Did you ever think for a second that Shane might just want tomarryyou? The way I see it, he can’tunderstand your resentment because he doesn’t realise the pressure you’re putting yourself under. Yes,” she added vehemently, seeing Karen’s expression tighten, “you’re your own worst enemy. If you just sit down and calmly explain to him exactly how you’re feeling, I bet that he’ll be bewildered as to what’s been going on in your head.”
“I don’t think so, Jen. He knows full well how I feel – ”
“Karen,” she interrupted calmly, “promise me.”
“What?”
“Promise that you’ll go home now and talk to Shane - properly. Forget about Nellie and the Quinns; just find out once and for all whathewants.”
40
Shane was half asleep on the sofa when Karen got back to the house. “We need to talk.”
“I know,” he replied flatly, his eyes still glued to the television screen.
She fidgeted uncertainly, not sure how to begin, then perched on the end of the sofa.
“Look, I’ve been stressing about a lot of stuff these days and I know I’ve been taking a lot out on you.”
“You can say that again.” Still, he didn’t look at her.
“I’m sorry. It’s not your fault and you shouldn’t have to deal with it. The thing is, when you keep talking about setting a date for the wedding … well, I -”
“Doesn’t matter,” Shane said, picking up a newspaper from the coffee table and flicking idly through it. “I think we’re finished, Karen.”
She felt as though she had been kicked hard in the stomach. “What do you mean?”
“What Imean,” he said mimicking her tone, “is that we’re finished, over, kaput – whatever way you want to put it. This wedding obviously isn’t happening.”
“Shane– ” She reached a tentative hand across to touch his knee.
“Forget it.” He stood up, his face filled with emotion. “When we got engaged and then got this place, I was the happiest man alive. But you’ve changed. You’re not happy with anything. Lately, I’ve been working my ass off on overtime whenever I can get it. I was planning to surprise you, bring you off on holiday somewhere – anything that might cheer you up. But I’m wasting my time, aren’t I? You have no intention of marrying me. Did you think I wouldn’t notice that every time I or anyone else, brings up the wedding, you react as though you’ve been burnt?”
“I know, I’m sorry. But if you’d just let me explain –”
“As far as I’m concerned, there can only be one explanation. We made a mistake getting engaged. You don’t love me any more. Not to mention the fact that you seem to have some weird vendetta against my family,” he spat.
“Well, what else do you expect?” Karen couldn’t hold back any longer. “Nothing I do is good enough for your mother. I don’t know what she has against me, but –”
“Can you not hear yourself?” he said, putting a hand to his head in exasperation. “What does my bloody mother have to do with any of this?”
She took a deep breath, sat back down and clasped her hands together. “I know you’re angry with me and in a way, I can understand why. But you don’t knowwhat’s been going on in my head. I’ve been worried and –”
