‘How the heck are we supposed to get this thing home?’ Holly asked, daunted by the shortened but still disarmingly large spruce. She handed the boxes of ornaments to Danny. ‘OK, you take these and I’ll drag it,’ she said, tossing the tree to the ground so she could get a grip on its stump.
Danny watched her anxiously, as if she were about to pick up a human body.
She managed to get her hands around the stump, and to her relief it was not that heavy, regardless of the look of it. She started to drag it down the street, with Danny giving directions.
Reaching the walk-up, she handed the keys to Danny to get them into the lobby, and hauled the tree through the slender double doors, miraculously not breaking any branches. Finally, making it to the apartment, she shoved the tree into the living room, relieved.
They decided to set it up across from the couch, next to the little TV.
The two of them shoved the trunk into the old metal stand, and Holly held the branches straight as Danny screwed the anchors in. When he was finished they stepped back to take a look at it.
‘It’s big,’ Holly said.
‘Now, we have to water it, to make sure it doesn’t dry out.’ Danny bounded off to the kitchen to fill a cup with water.
‘How do you know so much?’ she asked.
‘Well, my friends have Christmas trees and everything,’ he answered, getting on his knees to water the tree.
‘Oh, of course,’ Holly replied, watching him carefully. Did he take everything in like that? Every detail when he went over to a friend’s house? She hadn’t really thought about it before; that he was getting to the age where he might very well notice domestic issues. Like if someone’s apartment was clean or dirty, if they watered their Christmas tree – if there was a father in the home.
Holly bit her lip; she was not going to obsess over this. She wasn’t the only single mom amongst Danny’s peers, but knew she was certainly in the minority. Joey, his best friend, came from a traditional home and a large family, and lived in a huge apartment with a live-in housekeeper. His mom, Rita, was always very kind to Holly, often pressing her to come over and have a cup of coffee, a cup of tea, a glass of wine or something.
But Holly was always too busy. She had to work, and when she wasn’t working, she wanted to have that free time with Danny. Maybe she would take Rita up on that cup of coffee sometime.
Holly wondered what else he saw at his friends’ houses and it broke her heart. A dad, a big apartment, vacations, Xboxes and iPads … Holly sighed. They would just have to make their own memories this year, so what if they were a bit different from the mainstream? So they got their ornaments out of an abandoned box in the back of a thrift store … It would build character and tolerance and a real appreciation for what they could afford.
Danny had finished watering the tree and sat back next to his mother on the couch.
‘We need lights,’ he said matter of factly.
Damn, Holly had forgotten about that. Where was she going to get fairy lights at this hour? Then she had a brainwave.
‘Tell you what; we’ll take them off the fire escape.’ They had a whole string of fairy lights they hung on the fire escape every year to make it festive. She would simply crawl out there and get them.
‘But when, Mom?’ her son asked, and she knew he was trying his best not to sound impatient.
She grinned, getting up from the couch and crossing the small room to her bedroom area. She pulled the window open and the cold air came rushing in.
‘I’ll make you some tea!’ Danny cried, and ran into the kitchen, as if she were about to embark on a major expedition.
Holly crouched on the fire escape, unwinding the lights carefully with freezing fingers. ‘Oh, the things we do for Christmas …’ she grumbled good-naturedly.
Once the fairy lights were unwound, she hopped back inside. Danny met her with hot tea. She handed him the lights and took the warm mug, basking in the steam.
Holly nodded. ‘Go ahead, you do it – you don’t need me for this bit.’
His eyes brightened as he immediately began to navigate the tree with the string of lights, trying to figure out how they would look the best. When he was finished, he shut off the main light, and he and Holly sat on the couch and stared transfixed at their newly decorated tree.
‘Why haven’t we ever had a tree before?’ Danny asked, his youthful face illuminated by the lights.
Holly took a sip of her tea and thought about it. The truth was it had always seemed like a man’s job. Her father had always done it at home. When Nick left she hadn’t much felt like celebrating Christmas anyway. Then after Danny was born, her mom had swooped in and they were always invited to Queens for holidays.
‘I don’t know,’ she answered. ‘That’s a good question.’
‘Can we do this every year?’ he asked hopefully. ‘Whether we go to Nana’s or not?’
‘Yes,’ said Holly firmly, ‘we can. Absolutely. I think it’s your best idea yet.’
