I know not every parent is the same, and there’s no denying that it can be hard to just let kids at it, especially if it’s your and Junior’s first time in the place, and you see everyone else hand-holding. And if you don’t, it immediately makes you look like you don’t give a shit.
I’m also sure no one ever thinks he or she is a helicopter parent, and it goes without saying that everyone is just trying to do right by their child.
But does more worry equal more love?
For my part, I’m inclined to be free-range because I remember my own childhood and how my parents didn’t have the time, let alone the desire, to watch every misstep or foresee every potential problem.
Don’t child-proof the world, is my motto. World-proof the child. (Thankfully, my husband agrees with me.)
And every time someone else is horrified that he or I let our brood try something potentially “too dangerous for their age,” I wave concern aside with the assertion that aren’t they better off learning now—before it’s too late—to respect the danger of what they are doing and negotiate it safely?
I want them to try things they thought they couldn’t do, fail, try again and repeat until they are successful. Isn’t this a necessary life skill in itself?
Psychological studies also show that children benefit from, if not actual danger, the feeling of danger and related sensations that result from activities like climbing up to get a bird’s-eye view, playing with dangerous tools or exploring on their own.
With that in mind, I recently read an article about a playground in New York that embraces an interesting philosophy: parents (helicopters or otherwise) are not allowed.
After the adults sign a waiver, their kids are let loose on a small field full of all kinds of detritus—tires, a plastic water cooler, pieces of wood in all sorts of sizes and shapes, thrown-out household equipment, etc.—where they do what kids have done forever: have fun and figure out how to make and break things.
Given all the stuff lying around for them to play with, it’s inevitable that some of them will occasionally get dirty and scuffed up and scratched.
In fact, that’s pretty much the point.
So, parents, maybe try to switch off those whirring fret-motors at the playground, come back down to earth once in a while and even consider sitting with some of us feckless miscreants for a minute or two?
It’ll work wonders for your nerves and you never know, you and your kids might just have some fun...
* * *
Clara Cooper couldn’t wait to get back to school.
She felt herself nearly shaking with excitement as her mother pulled up in front of Applewood Primary. Clara just wanted things to get back to normal; she was eager to go to drama class again and see her friends and, as much as she would only admit it secretly to herself, she even missed having to do homework. She felt desperate to feel like a normal kid, instead of a sick one who had to be quarantined from her life and everyone in it.
“All set, honey?” her mum asked with a smile.
Clara was about to reply when her stupid brother interrupted her.
“Why would anyone be excited to go back to school?” he sneered. “I’d rather be at home watching TV.”
Sometimes Jake could be an idiot. He just didn’t get it—but Clara wasn’t going to let him ruin her mood.
“Yeah, I’m ready, Mum. I’m really excited, actually.”
“That’s my girl,” said her mum. “At least I know which one of you is the smart one,” she teased. “Do you want me to walk you in? Or...”
But Clara was already shaking her head. Jake had flung open the door of the car and jumped from the vehicle as soon as it came to a stop. He threw up a hand in salute and shouted, “Bye, Mum,” as he ran toward his friends, who were gathered at the classroom doors.
Clara wanted to follow his lead. After a couple of weeks of being sick and coddled around the clock (not that she hadn’t liked that—she had felt terrible, after all), she was now ready to spread her wings and be independent.
“I’m fine, I just want to go see my friends. Is that OK?” she asked politely.
Her mother grinned. “Of course! Now, just wait a minute, though. Let me get a picture of you—I want to put it on Facebook. So many people have been asking about you and I want to show them just how well you look and how excited you are. Speaking of which, Auntie Fiona is picking you up later. Now that you’re better, Cam and Brian are staying with us for the afternoon, and she’s going to bring you all back to our house.”
“Great.” Clara forced a smile, but in truth she wasn’t too keen on her cousins coming to visit. Brian was OK, but Cam was just so moody and nasty to everyone. She didn’t know why his mum and dad didn’t warn him to be kind and show manners like hers insisted she and Jake always did. But, she supposed, some kids were just like that.
Her mum held up her iPhone and snapped a picture, nodding in approval. “Perfect. Now you go and have a lovely day. Dad and I are proud of you, sweetheart—you’re such a trouper.”
Clara waved goodbye and hopped from the car. Taking a deep breath, she felt like skipping, but tried to play it cool, scanning the outside of the school for her friends. Spotting some other girls from her class, she strode with purpose in their direction.
