The doctor proceeded, “It’s uterine cramping due to stress. The baby’s heartbeat is strong, and your labs and ultrasound look good too. I know the cramps can feel severe, but it’s not uncommon. Your body is basically reacting to a massive rush of adrenaline. You need to take it easy on the stress, alright?”
I nodded.
“Have you been experiencing high levels of stress?”
I nodded again.
A careful smile spread across the doctor’s face. It was both comforting and troubling. Julius and Kraven stood by my bed, one on each side, resembling the same guilty expression on their faces.
I felt like I was being split down the middle, this huge crack breaking right down the center of me. Julius stood with his strong composure, feeling as though he owned the room and the air that I was breathing. His jaw clenched a bit, his hands flexing at his sides as if he was trying not to touch me, not to grab me, not to claim me because I was his…
To own.
Kraven was quieter, which was somehow worse. He didn’t need to move to make his presence known. He didn’t have to speak to cause the tension filling our space, wrapping its way around my throat. His eyes were steady with mine. It was in this unshakable way that made it almost impossible to pretend he felt anything less possessive over me than Julius did.
They didn’t look at one another. They didn’t have to. Their hatred and love were enough to take down the whole room.
After the doctor excused himself, Julius suggested, “Maybe you should stay another night to be safe.” His tone was controlled, forcing it not to break into anything that might cause me any more distress than he already had.
“I’m fine,” I responded. “The doctor just said I was fine.”
“That doesn’t mean?—”
“It means I’m not staying here.”
Kraven exhaled slowly, almost like he’d been holding it in this entire time. It was obvious he was choosing his next words carefully.
“This isn’t about what you want.”
My head popped toward him. “Excuse me?”
“It’s about what’s safest?—”
“For me?” I sassed. “Or for the baby?”
The silence that followed was deafening. We were all aware of the answer, making it twist in my chest.
“Now I can’t make my own decisions, and you guys only get to decide what’s best? I don’t get a say in what I want?”
Julius stepped forward. It was only one step, but it was enough to shift the entire room. “No one is saying that.”
“You don’t have to say it. You’re both thinking it.”
“That’s not?—”
“Stop,” I interrupted, my hands shaking. My entire body buzzed with emotions I couldn’t contain anymore.
I was exhausted from being the person in the middle of their war, and I was done with it.
KRAVEN
We could have lost the baby, and I didn’t know how to shake that. It was the only thing that kept repeating in my mind, drowning out everything else. For a second, just one second, I thought I was walking into a hospital room to hear I’d lost everything I ever wanted.
I’d never experienced fear quite like that before, not even when my parents left us. Maybe it was from knowing I had Julius, and in my heart, I wasn’t sure where I stood in any of this. I was basing everything on feelings, and that was my first mistake.
Facts over emotions was always the way I operated, and now I was this lost little puppy trying to find a home. It made me want to control everything around me, so that I never had to feel like this again.
All the sentiments quickly escalated, and I didn’t relax until the doctor said she was fine. Still, a part of me didn’t believe him. Maybe because I’d never been that lucky. She was glaring at me like I was the enemy, and she was annoyed we were trying to get her to stay.
