“For what?”
“To help you.”
“What are you talking about? All you’ve done since the second you came into my life is help me, Julius.” I held his hands. “Who knows where I’d be if it weren’t for you.”
“Wrong time to be thanking me, Isla. I couldn’t stop myself from being with you.”
My lips parted.
“I thought about you every single day I was gone. You know that, don’t you?”
“Why does it feel like you’re saying goodbye to me?”
With determination in his stare, he confided, “I’m never leaving you or that baby again.”
“That baby?”
“As much as I don’t want to acknowledge this, it might be Kraven’s.”
I sucked in a breath, hanging on his every word. “I know…”
“Do you? Do you have any idea how hard this is for me right now? How badly I want to fucking murder him?”
I spoke another truth. “He turned you in to protect me, Julius.”
He scoffed. “Is that what he told you?”
“Yes, and when I think about it, it makes sense.”
“Enlighten me.”
This was my chance to try to make things right between them. It was the only hope I had, having to play mediator. No matter how badly it might hurt Julius to hear this, he needed to know the truth.
“I’m not saying what he did was right. I’m just saying it makes sense.” I paused to gather my words. I didn’t want to mess this up, fully aware I’d only have one chance. “You told me yourself that you and Kraven were used as collateral when it came to your parents’ drug dealings.”
I didn’t have to go any further because I could see it in his expression. He was mindful of where I was going with this, making it easier on me. I was grateful for it, the silent understanding we shared. It hadn’t gone away despite the fact that he did.
Twice.
He bowed his head, the fight in him settling. “Fuck…”
“I’m sorry, Julius, I’m not trying to make this harder for you.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man you needed me to be until now.”
I saw every smile we ever shared.
Every laugh.
Every time he told me he loved me, and I was his best friend for life. No matter what, it was him and me. The memories of all our times together fell right on top of my head like the rain of a thunderstorm.
I tried to stay in the moment, the present, but my mind wouldn’t let go of the past. Not when they both were in my heart and a part of my soul. I couldn’t shake either of them, and the worst part was, I didn’t want to.
I sat there on the balls of my feet, holding myself up when all my body longed to do was fall apart. The two most important men in my life hated each other while I relied on both of them in much different ways.
Where Julius was warm and soft, Kraven was cold and hard; they were complete opposites. Sometimes it was difficult to believe they were even brothers, like night and day.
My golden boy and lone wolf.
