He would, wouldn’t he? Just like, if she’d known a way to contact him before Angel was born, she would have. Wouldn’t she? Hadn’t she wanted to? Wasn’t it her mother who had told her he wouldn’t want to know and she was better off without him?
‘So, he’sneverknown about me,’ Angel repeated, her eyes getting even bigger.
‘No, but he’s going to. That gallery we went to the other day, before the Guggenheim, I’m sure he exhibited there and the man I spoke to is going to contact some more galleries who are going to help. And I went to the club we met in just the other night and there’s a bartender there who might know him and…’ Hayley gabbled.
The wind was blowing the strands of hair flying loose from under Dean’s hat and Hayley just wanted to envelop Angel in her arms and not let anything touch her. This obviously hadn’t been anything like her daughter had envisaged in her mind. She had known her father was out there somewhere, but perhaps she’d imagined a real relationship between her parents, her father knowing about her but having to leave for some reason. This, as Hayley had always thought, was an unkind truth.
‘I’m going to find him, Angel.’ She struggled to keep her voice steady.
‘How?’ Angel asked, moving up alongside the barrier and looking out over the sea of grey.
‘I told you, we’re going to call all the galleries in New York and find someone who can put us in touch or there’s the barman at Vipers. Maybe Michel still goes there and he remembers him.’ She blew out a breath as a shiver ran over her body. ‘I’m not going to stop until we find him.’
‘But what if… what if he has another family?’ Angel said. ‘He might be married. He might have other children.’
Hayley put an arm across her shoulders and drew her close. ‘Yes, he might.’
Had Michel met his soulmate? Did he have children? Did they look anything like Angel?
‘We just need to find him first. Anything else will have to come later.’
‘He might not want to know me at all.’
‘And if he doesn’t, we tell him what we think of him and we kick him in the will.i.am.’
She saw a smirk appear on Angel’s face.
‘Because that would make him the biggest… dope,’ Hayley said, letting go of Angel and adopting a rapper stance.
‘Stop it! People are looking!’
Hayley put her arm back around her, affectionately rubbing her shoulder. ‘Angel, I might not know a lot about him but I do know that he was funny and bright and passionate about life.’ She recalled their walk through Central Park. The leaves on the trees a russet colour, waiting to fall, the air crisp, the moon lighting their way. ‘He told me the world is just one big ball of experiences waiting to be grabbed.’
‘Really?’ Angel looked unimpressed by the anecdote.
‘He had cool hair,’ Hayley added.
Angel smiled. ‘What else?’
‘He had nice eyes, like yours,’ she said, reaching for Angel’s hand.
‘Do you have a photo?’
‘Yes!’ Hayley said excitedly. ‘It’s back at the apartment but… yes, I have a photo.’
Her daughter’s smile widened then, becoming more genuine. Right now, Hayley would say or do anything to make this easier forher. She couldn’t help but feel as if she had let her down along the way to this moment, because of her own cautiousness about the subject… or perhaps her mother’s.
‘Can we go up to the top?’ Angel asked, slipping her hand into Hayley’s. It was a small gesture but it meant everything.
‘Absolutely. As long as I can re-enactSleepless in Seattle.’ Hayley grinned.
Angel snatched her hand back, folding her arms across her chest. ‘I amnotbeing Tom Hanks.’
‘Reasons Christmas is better in New York number twenty-nine: visiting scenes from your favourite movies!’
30
DRUMMOND GLOBAL OFFICES, DOWNTOWN MANHATTAN
