Uriel cast his gaze down to the glass in his hand, watching the dark red liquid swirl around. He knew he was being selfish when it came to Kristoph meeting Azazel and that he also depended on Orion a lot, but he wouldn’t hold his friend back from seeking his own family when he was ready. It would hurt to see him go, but not even he could stop love.
“No, I wouldn’t keep you here,” he whispered. Uriel’s heart hurt at even saying the words.
“I know you wouldn’t, so get over yourself and introduce Kris to his father.”
“I'll think about it, all right?”
“I know why you're holding back and you do too. You just don't want to say it out loud,” Orion said, not caring or paying attention to Uriel’s outburst. “Can’t you see that your son is hurting to connect with his father and brother?”
Uriel looked at Orion with wide eyes. “How do you know he’s hurting? How do you know he wants to connect with them? Donald told me to leave him alone, and so I did. Azazel… well, you know the deal.”
“When did you become this cowardly and blind to your son's feelings?” Orion snapped. “Maybe if you tell Donald what you suffered through for twenty years, he wouldn’t push you away. If only you were honest with yourself and Azazel, things will...”
“If! If! It’s all speculation,” Uriel yelled then calmed. It wasn't the first time he and Orion had this conversation, but usually it was calm, without any tension. “Look, what’s done is done. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“He’s been doing research on them,” Orion said, not changing the subject, but his words caught Uriel's attention.
“For how long?” Uriel asked after a few seconds of silence.
“I'd like to say a couple of days, but I'm sure he's been looking into them far longer,” Orion answered. “One day I happened to look over his shoulder and saw him staring intently at Azazel’s picture. He had the most pitiful look on his face. It broke my heart. And then the other day when he and I were out and saw his billboard picture, it put him in a different mood. He has Donald’s family picture as his lock screen on his cellphone.”
Uriel closed his eyes, suppressing his guilt, but he was doing a terrible job at it.
“They are twins, Uri. Their bond has been stretched to the limit, and I figure right about now they are calling out for each other. Maybe Donald hasn’t realized it, but Kris has.”
Uriel opened his eyes, knowing that his friend spoke the truth. “I know, but I also told Kris when he was ready I would introduce him to his father and brother.”
“He’s ready.” Orion snorted. “But when will you be?” He stood and drank the rest of his wine, setting the empty glass down on the coffee table. “Don’t be surprised if he does something on his own. Remember, you’re the indulgent parent.”
“What do you think he’ll do?” Uriel asked.
“Fuck if I know. He’s your kid.”
“Funny, I thought he was yours,” Uriel argued back, but there wasn’t any heat to his words.
“Only when he’s pretending to be an obedient little angel. The rest he gets from you and Azazel.” Orion gazed down at Uriel. “You’re no longer the naive angel who followed Dio because he saved your soul. Those twenty years you were imprisoned did the opposite of what Dio wanted and strengthened you, and you have the scars to prove it.”
Uriel refused to look down at his wrists where the marks from the chains that held him in captivity for twenty years remained. He used an incantation to keep them hidden, but the scars were a daily reminder of a position he never wanted to be in again.
“Also, face up to your feelings for Azazel and put your feelings first.”
“What feelings do you think I have for a man who cheated on me?” Uriel asked Orion.
Orion sighed. “I won’t answer that right now. Ask me some other time.” He leaned down and kissed Uriel on the forehead. “The longer you punish Azazel, the more you hurt your sons. All right, enough lecturing for the night, I'm off to bed. Good night.”
Uriel nodded, then whispered, “Night.”
Uriel watched Orion walk up the stairs and disappear down the hall leading to his bedroom, then Uriel stood and finished drinking his wine. He picked up Orion’s glass and walked to the kitchen, setting it down on the counter, then picked up the wine bottle to pour another glass for himself, but he thought better of it and brought the bottle to his mouth, greedily gulping down the sweet fermented liquid. He wiped away the few drops that slid down the corner of his lips with the back of his hand, sighing in satisfaction.
He thought about Orion’s words as he walked to the wraparound terrace, letting the light breeze wash over his heated skin. He’d been wrong in thinking that Kristoph was being truthful with him on how he was feeling, and as the child’s father, he wasn’t sure how to reconcile his own emotions. Uriel didn’t expect the child to wait for him to buck up his nerves or push back his anger, however, he should have been perceptive of what his son was thinking and feeling.
Uriel didn’t want to face up to the emotion of Azazel and Kristoph meeting. The thought made him feel jealous.He wasn’t ready to share Kristoph with the man who'd cheated on him, with the person he hated most in the world.
Uriel was already green with envy that Donald allowed Azazel to stay in his life, while Uriel was pushed aside. Maybe Orion was right and Donald should know what really happened, but he didn’t want to play the victim and have anyone feeling sympathy for him, or perhaps that was an assumption in his mind.
He pulled out his cellphone from his back pocket and pulled up Azazel’s personal number. Working for an investigation company had its perks, and he’d gotten his ex’s private number the second he knew the man was staying in Valleywood. Uriel’s finger hovered over Azazel’s name, and he thought about what he would say if he called. Would Uriel yell and scream at how much he was hurt or confess that they had another son? Or tell him the truth, that even though he hated him, Uriel missed him.
“Shit, I’m so damn pitiful,” he mumbled and shook his head, putting his cellphone away then finishing the rest of the wine. Orion was right, the twins would need each other, and there wasn’t anything he could do to stop their bond. It was a contention he’d thought about over the years but had yet to rectify it. “Maybe once this job is over, I’ll take some time off and settle things with Donald and let the boys meet. Even if he pushes me away, he can’t push away his brother."
