Brenden did not have to guess about what Julian was talking about, the threat of “if you hurt him again” was hanging in the air between them. Brenden nodded, then opened the door, thinking of an excuse to use for why he wouldn’t be there the next day. Julian was right, he needed to figure out what he wanted before he made a commitment to anyone, specifically to Nicholas.
** ** ** ** **
Stephen snapped his eyes open the next morning and looked around and realized he was in his room. The last thing he remembered was sitting on the couch waiting for Brenden to return from tucking Nicholas into bed. Sitting up in bed he looked down and noticed he was wearing the same clothes from the night before.Dad must have brought me up last night. It’s not the first time.
Pushing the covers off, he slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom. Stephen turned on the shower, then undressed. He studied his face in the mirror while he waited for the water to warm up. He looked more rested than he had in a while, the bags under his eyes were disappearing. Stephen scrubbed his face roughly. His hands grazing over his stubbled cheeks. He chuckled remembering the time he tried to grow a beard that didn’t turn out as well as it should have. He wanted to look older and mature. But instead he resembled a kid pretending to be Santa Clause. His hair was growing back, and the shortness made his face look gaunt. He knew he was losing weight; it could not be helped. Steam started to fog up the mirror. Stepping away from the sink he got in the shower.
That was the only time he had to himself. Nicholas was happy to play by himself, at least for a few minutes, anyway. He did not mind being a single parent, but there were a few drawbacks. His dad helped as much as he could, but Stephen had always felt that Nicholas was his responsibility. He hated that he depended on his father so much. But things would soon change, hopefully, with Brenden in the picture. He couldn’t help but feel jealous at how quickly Brenden and Nicholas were getting along the day before. Some part of him knew it was silly for him to be jealous, considering Nicholas had no idea that Brenden was his other father, but Stephen could not help the way he felt.
He also needed to figure out what he’d do or say once Nicholas figure out Brenden was his father and not just some friend from work. Stephen did not want his son to hate him, or Brenden for that matter. He was at fault for them not knowing each other. But he still couldn’t help the jealousy he felt when he saw them playing with Poppin. Turning off the shower, he got out and wrapped his towel around his waist and grabbed another for his face. Feeling refreshed, his stomach grumbled reminding him that he needed to eat. But those days it was harder deciding what to have, since he wasn’t able to keep things down.
He looked at the clock, it was a few minutes after six. He hurried and got dressed, he was going to have a hard time waking Nicholas up. Walking out of his room and down the hall into Nicholas’ room, he stopped when he saw that the door was wide open. Stephen peeked inside and noticed that his bed was also empty.
He must have gotten up and snuck into bed with Dad. He must have had a nightmare, which doesn’t happen often.
He went over to his dad’s room, knocking on the door, and when there was no answer, he opened the door and peeked in. His dad was not in bed, and neither was Nicholas. Figuring they could be in the kitchen, he headed down the stairs, he stopped in his tracks when he heard familiar laughter coming from the kitchen.
Brenden.
He had completely forgotten that Brenden was going to be there. Steeling himself, Stephen walked into the kitchen. Nicholas was sitting in a chair having a bowl of cereal, his dad and Brenden in a deep conversation. Nicholas was the first one to see him, he jumped off his chair and ran over to him.
“Daddy!”
Stephen caught him easily. “Hey, buddy, I see you’re up early.”
“Yup, and look, Brenden’s here.” He turned and pointed to Brenden.
“I can see that,” he answered Nicholas. “Good morning, Brenden, Dad.”
“Good morning,” Brenden greeted back.
“I made you some tea,” his father told him in the way of greeting him. “I used fresh ginger the way you like it.”
“Thank you,” he told his father, setting Nicholas down.
Stephen walked over to the stove and prepared his tea, adding honey instead of sugar and taking his first sip and groaning.
“Are you still a vegetarian?” He opened his eyes, he didn’t remember closing, to see Brenden staring at him. His dad and Nicholas was nowhere in sight.
“Yup, that hasn’t changed,” he answered. When he was around eight, he watched a video about what happened to animals and how they were killed and used for food. He was horrified and vowed never to eat meat ever again. He took another sip of his tea and noticed that Brenden was watching him closely, his eyes traveled up and down Stephen’s body appreciatively. To hide his blush, Stephen turned his back and fixed himself another cup of tea.
“I was going to come up with a dozen excuses why I couldn’t make it this morning.”
Stephen flinched feeling Brenden’s warm breath ghosting his neck.How the hell did he get up without me noticing? And why is he standing so close?
“What changed your mind?” Stephen asked, closing his eyes, not wanting to hear the answer.
Brenden was quiet, and in one swift move he turned Stephen around and smashed their lips together before he could protest. They moaned the first time their lips touched. Stephen knew he should push Brenden away, and they should not be doing this, but the other man had always been his Achilles heel. He could never resist Brenden no matter how hard he fought his feelings for the other man. Brenden’s lips seared his, and he was drowning in lust.
At the thought of what happened three months earlier, Stephen gathered as much strength as he could and pulled himself away from Brenden’s luscious lips.Shit! I can’t let myself get lost in Brenden again.He stepped away from the other man, wiping his lips with the back of his hand.
“Look, I…” He started but stopped when they heard Nicholas thundering down the stairs.What was I going to say that sounded like the truth? It certainly isn’t that I don’t want him to kiss me again, or touch me. Because not only will I be lying to him but to myself as well.
“We’ll talk later,” Brenden told him.
Stephen nodded, just as Nicholas and his father entered the kitchen. He went back to preparing his tea as he tried to pretend that nothing happened between him and Brenden. He did not want to look at his dad, because the older man would look straight through him and know that something happened.
** ** ** ** **
