“Um… you would have to ask Brenden for those things, buddy.”
Nicholas got off the sofa and ran over to Brenden, standing in front of him while pulling on his pant leg and looking up at him with expectant eyes. He kneeled so that he was face to face with the kid. “Yeah, what can I do for you, buddy?”
“Can you come with us tomorrow?” he asked.
“Where are you going?” Brenden asked before agreeing.
“We’re going to pick apples,” Nicholas told him eagerly.
“Do you want me to?”
Nicholas nodded his head excitedly. “I like you,” he told Brenden.
“Okay then, I will meet you guys here tomorrow. What time do I need to be here?”
Nicholas turned and looked at Stephen, Brenden looked at him as well.
“Dad, what time…”
“We are leaving about seven in the morning, the farm opens its doors at eight,” Stephen answered.
“Then I will be here at six,” Brenden answered. “But that means that you need to go to bed now, like your dad said.”
“Okay,” Nicholas replied, looking back at him. He was about to walk away but stopped “Brenden, can you tuck me in, please?”
Brenden looked up at Stephen, who was staring down at them. He nodded telling Brenden that it was okay. “Sure, show me the way,” he said to Nicholas as he stood to his feet. Tiny hands grabbed on to one of his larger hands as they walked out of the family room and up the stairs. Nicholas showed him the way to his room as he talked a mile a minute about things Brenden had no idea what the kid was talking about. He quietly listened and interjected when needed.
Nicholas hopped into bed the minute they walked into his room. Brenden took the time to examine the décor of the room. It fit perfectly for a little boy, blue painted walls with giant decals of superheroes stationed around the room. Brenden noticed that Nicholas’ Batmobile bed was in the center of the room facing the door. Brenden looked down at Nicholas, who was staring up at him. He kneeled beside the bed and fixed the covers over the child. That was something he knew how to do, having nieces and nephews.
“Do you like my dad?” Nicholas questioned.
That question threw him for a loop. It made him wonder if he’d shown any aggression to Stephen all day. But could not think of one instance where his demeanor showed any sort of malice. He read somewhere that kids could feel the tension coming off adults, maybe subconsciously he was still angry that he’d missed quite a bit in his son’s life. He was here, and that’s all that mattered.
“I like your dad, he’s a good friend,” Brenden answered. And felt the honesty of his words.
Nicholas stared at him pensively, and Brenden got the feeling that there was something the child wanted to tell him, but he was afraid he would be breaking a promise. “Hey, are you okay, is something wrong? Are you worried about something?” Nicholas looked at the door behind him and then back to Brenden and nodded his head. “What is it?”
“I think there’s something wrong with my daddy,” Nicholas whispered.
“What do you mean?” he probed.
Nicholas bit on his bottom lip and his features turned serious, he was about to respond when Julian walked into the room. “Hey, little man, all tucked in?” he asked as he walked in and stood on the other side of the bed. He leaned down and kissed Nicholas on his forehead. “I hope you have fun tomorrow with your dads.”
Brenden froze. He wondered if it was a slip of the tongue on Julian’s part or if the child noticed what his grandfather implied. Nicholas nodded his head, and Julian kissed him one more time. “Sleep tight, Nicholas.”
“Night, Grandpa. Night, Brenden,” Nicholas said between yawns.
Brenden did not get a chance to ask more questions because Nicholas closed his eyes and dropped off to sleep. It also didn’t help that Julian was waiting for him by the door. He leaned forward and kissed Nicholas on the forehead before following Julian out of the room. He was going to ask the other man about Stephen’s health, but he was sure that he wouldn’t reveal anything to him.
By all counts, he was still a stranger, an interloper. He was surprised that the child felt comfortable to tell him that little bit. He made it downstairs and walked back into the family room, Stephen was curled in the fetal position, asleep on the sofa. Brenden couldn’t help but take the time to stare at the other man. He would never be over Stephen; it was as clear three months ago when they slept together as it was now.
He was a fool years ago when he let Stephen walk away without so much as a fight. Brenden leaned down and picked up the sleeping man with ease, who did not stir awake. He had forgotten how good Stephen felt in his arms. Stephen also felt lighter than Brenden remembered. He turned and saw Julian standing at the door entrance. “Um… do you mind showing me the way to his room?”
“Nah, come on, I’ll show you. I was coming to get him myself.” Julian chuckled. “I swear that couch should be his bed the amount of time he falls asleep on that thing.”
They walked up the stairs and Julian led him to the room down the end of the hall with French glass doors. He opened the doors for Brenden to walk in, without injuring himself with Stephen in his arms. The room was large, and there were boxes stacked in the far corner of the wall facing the large, empty but inviting bed. It was the only furniture in the room. He walked over and laid Stephen gently on the bed, pulling the covers over him. He was about to kiss the man on his forehead and stopped himself.What the fuck am I doing?Slowly, he stood and backed out of the room, closing the doors and headed back down the stairs. He grabbed his jacket and went to the door but was stopped when he heard Julian’s voice.
“Figure out what you want before you get too deep.”
