“I hope you’re right,” I said, feeling only marginally better. It occurred to me that Jake wasn’t the only one who had to prove readiness for a real relationship. I’d have to show him that I understood my own culpability for our fight—that I wouldn’t give up on us too quickly, that I wouldn’t leave him again the next time we disagreed. Even though he’d gone about it the wrong way and managed to stick his foot in his mouth enough times to cause bruises, he’d also been the only one fighting for us, and I needed to fix that.
“Let’s finish this up, so you can talk to Jake,” Sofia said. Over the next hour, we got everything in place in the nursery. While we worked, I wondered if the baby would ever sleep in the room, but it felt right finishing the job.
After my friends left, I sat in the rocker again and picked up my phone to call Jake. I wanted to ask him to come over here so wecould talk about our relationship and what we both wanted. But I hesitated, fearing that it couldn’t be so simple. My eyes went to the baby items in the room. He’d been dropping off packages for a month, and I hadn’t once opened my door to him. That had to have hurt him. I slumped back.
Would he believe I’d just changed my mind about us? WouldIbe so quick to believe or forgive if the situation were reversed? No, I’d take some convincing. I needed to prove my commitment to him. But how?
All I’d want was a quiet, sincere conversation, but Jake wasn’t like that. He’d want more of a show, a grand gesture. That was who he was. Could I do that?Howwould I do that? Ask him out to karaoke night and sing him a song? My palms got sweaty just thinking about it.
A text came in at that moment. It was a Poplar Springs alert message, reminding everyone of the town’s annual talent show in two days and that tickets were still available. Insight hit me. The event could be perfect for what I wanted to do. The prospect was terrifying…but for Jake, I would do it.
I didn’t let myself hesitate before dialing Amy’s number. Our town mayor was helping to organize the show as a fundraiser for Pop High’s drama and music programs.
“Hi,” Amy answered. “Sorry I couldn’t come over today. I wanted to, but work, you know.”
“That’s okay,” I said and then forced myself to go on. “Are there any performance slots left for the talent show?”
“Actually, yes—we have one because we had a cancellation this morning. Why?”
“I want it.” My stomach rolled, and I had to swallow down my nerves.
“Sure.” Amy sounded surprised. “I’ll pencil you in. What kind of act?”
“I’ll be singing.” Painfully and poorly, but I was going to do it.
“Great. I’ll email you the information.”
“Thanks, Amy,” I said and hung up. I had another call to make and dialed again. “Caitlin?”
“Hi, sweetie. You sound weird. Is something wrong?” Caitlin’s concern was instant. “Do you need me to come back to your place?”
“No, I’m okay. I need a favor, though. Can you and Brian make sure that Jake goes to the talent show on Friday evening? You’re planning to be there, right?”
“Brian believes it his duty to make an appearance at town events, so we’re going,” Caitlin said. I could practically hear her eyeroll through the phone. “What are you planning? No, wait, you don’t have to tell me. I promise Jake will be there.”
“I can’t thank you enough.” I ended the call and added to myself. “Jake Thorne, you better be worth it.”
In my heart, I knew he was.
THIRTY-SEVEN
JAKE
Iglanced at the clock. I’d been sitting at my desk in the barn for too damn long. The office was my least favorite place to be on the ranch, but I had a problem with the budget that I was determined to resolve, no matter how long I had to spend going over it. I studied the numbers again, and the math just didn’t work. Luke’s long-range plan for the ranch included a certain percentage of the profits going for capital improvements each year. In the past, I had faithfully stuck with the plan, but I couldn’t make the numbers work anymore.
Not without getting rid of my three most experienced ranch hands and hiring newbies in their places to save money on salaries. That was a sacrifice I wasn’t willing to make. I needed those men. What I wanted was a way to keep my employees on and have the money to sink into improvements. But that was only possible if I scrapped Luke’s budget.
Could I do that? I stared at the ceiling, thinking. If I did, would the ranch no longer be profitable?
I reached for a notepad and began listing figures. Expenditures in one column and assets and income in the other. I planned forevery contingency that could befall a ranch and considered what would happen if I bred some worthy horses over the next few years and sold them.
After an hour, the paper was covered with numbers and ideas. Were they feasible? I thought so, but I wasn’t used to trusting myself in this aspect. I’d become complacent, assuming that Luke had all the answers and all I had to do was follow his vision.
I heard Julia’s voice in my head, suggesting that maybe the problem wasn’t that I’d strayed from Luke’s plan, but that I hadn’t strayed far enough. I’d thought her foolish at the time to suggest it. I wondered now. Putting together my own business plan for the ranch was taking a leap, but I drew courage from the fact that Julia thought I could do it.
Would it really be so bad to start believing in myself?
I looked again at the paper in front of me, analyzing the columns. If I didn’t lay out top dollar for a first-class stallion and paid stud fees instead, I could afford the better feed, the capital improvements,andmy best employees’ salaries while keeping within the profit margin I deemed acceptable.
