“I know—I’m a lucky man.” Brian was smiling at his future wife. I felt a pang of jealousy. I wouldn’t ever have what they did. The sad part was that I’d never known I wanted it until recently. I’d lost my chance, almost at the same time I’d realized how important it was to me.
“How about I make you boys some sandwiches while you shop?” Caitlin got up and moved toward the refrigerator, returning with cans of Coke for each of us.
“I’ll help you.” Brian stood.
“You can skip me,” Cal said rising from the stool. “I promised Amy I’d meet her for lunch.” He leaned over to kiss Caitlin on the cheek and shook both our hands. “I wish you all the luck. Reach out if there’s anything I can do to help.”
As Brian and Caitlin made lunch, I scanned the list and began putting items in my online shopping cart. I’d have them shipped to my house and then take them to her place. I’d go when she was unlikely to be home, but just being on her property would give me some hints that she was okay, some connection with her. It was the most I could hope for.
Before I left my brother’s house an hour later, Caitlin locked eyes with me. “She’s going to appreciate this gesture, but there’s something more you have to do. Talk to her. Texts, emails, whatever you can manage if you don’t want to have a face-to-face conversation, but open the lines of communication between the two of you. She needs that from you.”
My future sister-in-law was right, I realized as I drove back to my ranch. I had been trying to protect my own heart by not seeing Julia, but loving and supporting her meant that I had to understand her needs and put them first. That wouldn’t be possible if I was avoiding her.
THIRTY-SIX
JULIA
“That’s adorable,” Sofia gushed as she pulled a mobile from a box. My friends had arrived shortly after noon to help me put the final touches on the nursery.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use that word before,” I said, coming to look. But Sofia was totally right. The mobile with cows, chickens, and pigs in bright colors couldn’t be described any other way.
“Perfect,” Melody declared. She and Caitlin were both there as well. Amy had wanted to come but ended up in a meeting with the two Bobs. Bob Jackson and Bob McCall both sat on the town council and argued like an old married couple. According to Amy, at least this time, they hadn’t come to blows like they had in the diner.
“Should I hang it up for you?” Sofia asked.
I couldn’t answer for a moment since I was fighting back tears. I was so emotional, which wasn’t like me. I blamed it on the combination of pregnancy, cute baby things, and a broken heart. “I’d like that. You’ll have to put a hook in the ceiling.”
“I’ll help. Where’s the crib going?” Melody asked.
The crib was one of the few items on the baby registry that hadn’t shown up yet. Package by package, the rest of my list had arrived on my doorstep, brought by Jake.
“Over there.” I pointed to a sunny corner.
“I’ll grab the stepladder,” Melody volunteered. She was back a couple minutes later. “Here?” She held the hook against a spot on the ceiling.
“That’s good.” I watched while my friends suspended the mobile and imagined when my baby would lie beneath it in the crib. The thought warmed my heart, but also brought some sorrow because those were moments I wouldn’t share with the baby’s daddy. We seemed destined to love and raise our child separately. That thought brought on sadness I couldn’t fight and despite my best efforts, the tears came. I was unable to stop them.
“Whoa. What’s the matter?” Caitlin asked, coming to me.
“It’s Jake.” I sank down in the rocker, which had received a fresh coat of oil and looked better than it had in years. “I haven’t seen him in nearly a month, yet he’s been so good to me.”
Caitlin lowered herself into the only other chair in the room. “I know he’s bought these things, but what else?”
“We’ve been talking. Not in person,” I clarified. “Through email or text. We’ve even managed a few phone calls without sniping at each other. They’ve been good conversations, the kind I always wanted to have with him. We’ve even managed to work out some of our differences.”
“Like what?” Sofia asked. True to her nature, she wanted proof. I had confided in Sofia the most during the past months, but I hadn’t told her everything. That day, I felt like pouring out my heart.
“We compromised on several things lately,” I said, “like when to officially announce the pregnancy.”
“Good—I’m glad he pushed you on that. You’d have waited until just before delivery,” Sofia teased.
“And Jake would have informed the world the second I told him about the baby,” I said. “But last week we agreed to quietly announce it to the people who hadn’t already figured it out. And then a few days ago, we decided that the baby would have two middle names, one that I chose and one that he did. We even narrowed our list of first names to five boy ones and five girl ones.”
“Glad he can play nice,” Sofia said. My closest friend knew how much Jake’s actions had hurt me.
“And I heard him discussing the baby shower with Laura,” Caitlin added. “She wanted a big to-do, and I think he did too, but he told her that wasn’t what you wanted, and that the two of you agreed to a small shower.”
“He told me he spoke to her about the party,” I said. I disliked being the center of attention, so I’d been worried about the shower. Jake had understood and accommodated my preferences, so I was happy.
