I was actively crying now. “How did you know?” I figured Jake had told Brian about my pregnancy, but I hadn’t realized Laura knew.
Laura had a small photo album on her lap. “We all heard some of your argument with Jake. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, so I called your mom. Lisa swore me to secrecy.”
Laura handed me the album, then dug through her bag and pulled out a small pack of tissues, which she handed to me. I swiped at my eyes and nose, then opened the album.
“I made Caitlin an album like this with Brian’s baby pictures and I thought you might enjoy one with Jake’s,” she said and I began ugly crying.
My tears splattered on the pictures, so I pushed it farther away to keep the album dry. Laura reached out to grab my hand.
“Would you like to talk about it?” she asked. Unable to resist, I opened up to her, telling her everything that’d been going on between Jake and me. Well, I did leave out the sexy times, but the rest of it came tumbling out. She stayed silent while I hiccuped through a recitation of everything that we’d been fighting about.
When I finished, she pulled out a bottle of water from her tote bag and handed it to me. I took a few sips and set it down.
“So, that’s pretty much all of it,” I concluded. “As much as I care about Jake, I can’t be in a relationship with someone who insists on dictating everything I do.”
“Oh, I don’t blame you, dear. Marshall used to do it, too, and I know Luke did it as well. I suspect it’s something ingrained in the Thorne men,” Laura said.
I sniffled. “How did you handle it?” How did Amy handle it? I never spent much time around Luke, but Amy was such an independent woman, I couldn’t imagine her putting up with that kind of treatment.
“I picked my battles. I knew there were some things that Marshall would never budge on and I had to figure out which things were worth fighting for. Eventually, we figured things out, but I suspect part of the solution was that he directed most of that intensity to the boys.” Laura rolled her eyes. “Ranchers are a different breed of human. It takes a special person to be involved with them.”
“What about Amy?” I wasn’t sure how much Amy might’ve confided in Laura, but I needed to know.
“Oh, Amy was deeply unhappy by the end of her first marriage. Luke took that behavior to a level way beyond anything Marshall ever did or said. It got so bad, she was contemplating taking Henry and leaving. Not that I’d blame her. I’m afraid Marshall and I never reined in Luke’s behavior when he was growing up. Once he became an adult, well… Let’s just say that we should’ve done better. I’m just glad Cal is nothing like that.”
“Great.” I didn’t know what else to say. It sounded as if Laura was telling me there wasn’t any hope.
“Jake is hurting, which isn’t something I could ever say about Luke. As stubborn and… misguided as Jake is, he does care about you.”
“But caring isn’t enough if he isn’t willing to compromise on anything.”
Laura finished emptying out the bag and set everything on the rocker she had just vacated. “Give him time,” she said. “Jake needs to stew in his own misery for a bit before he’ll get his head out of his ass and figure things out.”
I choked out a laugh. In all the years I’d known Laura, I’d never heard her use any sort of profanity. “How long do you think that’ll take?”
She placed her hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “Not as fast as Brian, I’m afraid.” She looked down at me with a smile. “I did mention all the boys were afflicted with it, right?” I nodded, not feeling any better.
Laura stepped off the porch and turned to face me “Don’t give up on my son just yet. He’ll come around.”
I watched her drive away, her words replaying in my head. I was glad that she had faith in Jake, but for my part, I just wasn’t seeing it.
“Oh, Laura, I really hope you’re right. Because I’m not sure my heart can take losing him entirely.”
THIRTY-FIVE
JAKE
Ileft my foreman Davis in charge and drove into town for Julia’s ultrasound appointment. I didn’t know if I’d be welcome or not, but I was going. I hoped it wouldn’t lead to another fight. I wanted to be a part of her pregnancy and see our child growing inside her.
It had been two weeks since our relationship had gone to hell in one conversation. Since that day, I’d thrown myself into work. At night, I’d drink too much whiskey, mostly in the barn or my bedroom. Bad habits, I knew, but the days and nights felt heavy and hard. Whiskey and work were my only reprieves.
I’d woken that morning feeling more positive.IfJulia was open to having me at the appointment, I’d take that as a first step toward rebuilding our friendship. She’d said that friendship was all it would be between us, and I could accept that so long as we could find a way to coparent. Being cut off from Julia was bad enough. I couldn’t be cut off from my child as well.
Somewhere at the bottom of a bottle of whiskey a few nights back, I’d come to terms with our breakup. It was a fact I couldn’t change, so I would just have to get over her. She’d been so calmin the end. Her anger with me had disappeared, and there had only been sadness.
I replayed it over and over in my head, wishing I knew why that was. What had she realized in those moments? Would I be able to handle knowing? Maybe it was best not to ask.
When I reached the doctor’s office, I didn’t see Julia in the waiting room. The receptionist explained that she was already in the ultrasound room and showed me back. When I walked in, Julia was alone, sitting on the exam table.
